Why Is It So Easy For Some Guys To Get Laid?

[Hardkill]

Ok, this has really been a great burden on mind. I know that it's not always good to compare myself to others, but we live in a competitive world and a lot of times I can't help, but comparing myself to other people. With that said that, why has it been so easy for some guys to be able to get laid or get popular with people ever since they were in high school? As we all know by now, about 99% of men haven't ever learned or tried any sort of pickup methods for approaching and dating women and very likely have never cold approached a girl in their entire lives. Yet, out of that percentage of men, a number of them have been able to easily get laid with hot women and keep them for long. In contrast, I've approached over a 1,000 women I have been truly attracted to with all kinds of cold/warm approach methods and not once have I ever been able make any one of them an official fuck buddy or girlfriend of mine. Is it because those guys who have always had it easy with women have a genetic talent for seduction? 

 

 

Edited November 10, 2017 by Hardkill

[Spiral]

Naw it's just a combination of looks and confidence.

Guys that consider them self good looking ->become confident -> get girls -> becomes more confident-> get more girls and so on.

For me getting the first girl took a lot of effort, the second one maybe 15% of the effort. At some point you have to start saying no to girls.

Edited November 10, 2017 by Spiral

[BjarkeT]

I don't think there is such thing as a genetic talent as there usually always seem to be an explanation for what really happened 

I personally think that it's likely that they have gotten the right kind of practice(as I don't think all practice leads to the same results) or experience at an early age and continued to do it over a period of time that could help shape their self-image so they became more confident and that's why they seem so good at it now  

similar to prodigies that I assume they got good an early age because they did the right kind of practice(probably deliberate and maybe deep work which the research on these topics shows that they are some of the best ways to become good at what you do in terms of skills and knowlegde) really early (maybe starting between age 3-6 and because they pratice over a longer period of time they seem really good at it while others at the same age who haven't done the same pratice isn't as good as they are 

but I am not an expert so I might be wrong 

   

Edited November 10, 2017 by BjarkeT

[Hardkill]

Good Looks really don't mean much. I don't mean to brag, but I've always looked exceptionally good-looking and it didn't help me much with getting and keeping any of the girls I want. 

@BjarkeT Your answer sounds too uncertain.

[Hardkill]

On 11/10/2017 at 9:43 AM, see_on_see said:

Because they're different people. Different environments, different parents, different upbringings, different early childhood experiences, and a trillion other factors. Every path is unique.

One rule of thumb I have is that I always assume the universe knows what it's doing, whatever happens to me in whatever area, and therefore it's useless to compare yourself to others. You just know too little.

Maybe these guys who get laid easily will eventually get married and take a certain path in life, whereas you will have stumbled into self-actualization and will take a totally different path. Maybe having it had easy for all their life will lead them to a direction in which they will face enormous difficulties or crises they'll have to work on. (Not that I'm wishing it to them, I'm just saying that anything could be, and you don't really know even 0.000000% of it.) Maybe something else will happen and in 5 or 10 years you will realize it's all been worthwhile.

You just know too little to assume anything, so having a burden on your mind is useless. Focus on fixing your own problems, don't focus on what other people do -- in the end none of that matters to YOU. So just be in the present and work on what you have, and trust the universe that you are exactly where you need to be.

 

The universe doesn't always know what it's doing. 

It's so hard to be in the present when there's so much uncertainty out there. It's sometimes scary. That's why I occasionally contemplate suicide. I am tired of living with all of this unpredictability. 

[Principium Nexus]

They are used to be more close/intimate to girls and that confidence is attractive.

[ajasatya]

@Hardkill you fail because you want to use them. that's not how we treat human beings.

even those who "succeed" actually fail.

the cycle of cravings is endless. wake up!

[Shroomdoctor]

@ajasatya First: I really like your attitude towards things. If i remember correctly, you said in a post that you just dropped all of your cravings in one go. Was it some kind of breakthrough 'aha' moment?

Secondly. when I see your profile pic I always assume you are looking at someones butt. Just wanted to put that out there.

[ajasatya]

2 minutes ago, Marco_the_Ape said:

you said in a post that you just dropped all of your cravings in one go. Was it some kind of breakthrough 'aha' moment?

the insight that motivated me to drop them was a breakthrough 'aha' moment. but it took me 2~3 months to stabilize myself in the new (and healthier) pattern. don't get me wrong... it was extremely hard. it was also probably the best thing that i've ever done in my life.

17 minutes ago, Marco_the_Ape said:

Secondly. when I see your profile pic I always assume you are looking at someones butt. Just wanted to put that out there.

LOL. that picture was taken by some journalist who was documenting an brazilian choro musical concert. i was watching/listening, completely immersed.

[Hardkill]

This is not helping me at all. None of this advice has worked at all for me. I am very disappointed.

[Shroomdoctor]

@Hardkill "I did nothing at all and nothing at all happened. I am very disappointed." 

[Hardkill]

18 hours ago, see_on_see said:

You fail to see that it's your false beliefs that keep you stuck, lead you in the wrong direction and ultimately prevent you from getting laid (among many other things, including being happy). Until you finally decide to point the finger at yourself and do some serious self-investigation, no advice will ever do anything for you and you will be forever disappointed.

You fail to see that you don't know what you're talking about. 

[Hardkill]

I am tired of having to put so much work into trying to improving my dating skills. No one should have to go through this much torture. Is there another way besides cold approach/pickup or social circle to ensure that I will find a hot girl/woman as a partner who truly likes/loves me?

[Azote]

How about letting it be for the time being?

I have a kinda similar situation (20 y.o., never had a single kiss). What I accomplished, however, is reduce of suffering level on this matter. I once asked myself, why is that happening. Well, obviously, that's because even I wouldn't date myself since I have unhandled issues like not having a purpose in life, or even a job, independence or decent appearance. So the best thing that can be done is working on this things to build up some confidence, self-love, and self-respect. Well, there is no room for suffering then.

[Spiral]

@Hardkill Maybe you use lots of seduction techniques you've learn, the problem with them is that come of in a certain way you are not. When said girl discover this she will leave.

Seduction techniques works by giving a dishonest view of the person who uses them and therefor are dishonest. Guy who never learned any tricks don't use them and simply behave naturally.

[Spiral]

@ZX_man Yeah and I feel you, had a girl scream at me last week because I did not want be her boyfriend This one is quite the screamer in general. I hadn't even slept with her.

[ajasatya]

5 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Is there another way besides cold approach/pickup or social circle to ensure that I will find a hot girl/woman as a partner who truly likes/loves me?

no. live with it and grow up. no healthy person wants to be with a needy partner.

with this kind of attitude, if you ever find someone, the relationship will be ruled by attachment and jealousy. you will suffer even more and so will the other person.

be a rising star, not a black hole.

[Hardkill]

On 11/29/2017 at 4:06 AM, ajasatya said:

no. live with it and grow up. no healthy person wants to be with a needy partner.

with this kind of attitude, if you ever find someone, the relationship will be ruled by attachment and jealousy. you will suffer even more and so will the other person.

be a rising star, not a black hole.

Right now I am suffering so badly. I can't concentrate well on my work and studies now. 

I really want to know the secret to guys who are natural with women every since high school.

[smd]

You asked out 1000 women & you didn't get laid??   In my youth,  I think I only had to ask out 20 & I'm not as good looking as you are.

If I were you, I'd travel to Southeast Asia where the women there might see you as a prize & then you can date as many women as you want.  There is all variety of women & personality there to choose from.  Any shape you can see in a gal here, you can see there with an asiatic flare.

Somewhere in the world, there are women that want you & you just need to go there instead of dealing with the kind of women in your own part of the world, which from what I can tell in America these days, are extremely picky...to the point of which they'd rather do without than settle.

What I've learned about beautiful women is how they can treat you very badly if they're broken inside.  Some really know how to crush the spirit & those wounds just seem to remain open, never fully closing.

[Markus]

On 12/4/2017 at 8:20 AM, Hardkill said:

Right now I am suffering so badly. I can't concentrate well on my work and studies now. 

I really want to know the secret to guys who are natural with women every since high school.

"The hungry don't get fed."

You have a deeper problem at hand here. Even if you did get a girl with such attitude, it wouldn't solve your problem.