Does Life Purpose Need To Be About Contributing To Others Or Can It Be Making My Life As Amazing As Possible

[Joseph Maynor]

In a non-selfish way of course.  

Why do I need to contribute to the world to be “happy” anyway?

Can’t I be just as happy minding my own business worrying about my own growth and life trajectory — and still giving to others but not needing to make a career out of helping others directly?

I feel like this “helping others” presumption has trapped me for a long time.  The thought that I need to do that or that I owe it to the world to do that.  

Don’t assume I’m advocating chasing experiences either — I am not.  But I don’t feel like I need to be chasing saving the world either.  Both of those seem equally extreme to me now.  Just live your own damn life well, that’s all you gotta do, no?  Isn’t trying to save the world chasing experiences too? — think about it.  

The do-gooder seeks experiences too, do they not?  Is he not on a hamster-wheel of his own making — running round-and-round as well?  But where does the hamster wheel actually go?  It goes nowhere!  All that work — goes nowhere!  All that chasing of experience — goes nowhere!  Being doesn’t need a hamster-wheel — Being just is.  Being is what is watching you do all your neurotic work and chase your silly goals.  Being, from a stationary point at the corner of the cage, watches the hamster huff and puff and sweat to no avail.  “Well, I hope it’s amusing itself at least,” Being quips, “shit!”

We put all this added stress on ourselves trying to make a mark on the world when we can’t even get our own shit handled in a fine way.  To me that sounds like foolish martyrdom.  But since meaning is not objective, I still need to do some soul-searching to see how this shakes out for me.  I have a lot to share too, and I don’t want to snuff that away so fast.

But why is it my duty to help others?  That’s the fundamental question.  Where the fuck did I pick that up as something that I “need” to do?  Especially when I’m not living my own dream-life yet.  That seems kinda like a shitty trap to me — the “do gooder’s trap in life” potentially.  The idea that we have a “need” for contribution to the world is a limiting-belief.

Videos on point to watch:

 

Edited November 10, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Lauritz]

In my opinion you should first pursue getting as much happiness for yourself as possible. 

In practical terms that means becoming enlightened. And after that you can evaluate again what you want to do in the world. 

An enlightened mind might cause you to behave in ways you cannot imagine right now. Attributes like unlimited compassion and acting self-less come to my mind. The goal of becoming unconditionally happy yourself might in  the end actually line up quite well with the goal of helping others.

Your goal might become to help as many other people as possible to reach the state of enlightenment. And you do it naturally because now you see the immense degree of their suffering. 

Edited November 9, 2017 by Lauritz

[Blue is the sea]

@Joseph Maynor  what i experience personality is that the more i care for my self the more i care for others too.  the less i judge myself the less i judge others too. i don't care for them in a selfish way,i don't care because they are good to me or something like that. i just wish for them to be happy . if i can help in this ok, if not still ok. so i guess by helping/improving yourself in an indirect way you help others too.

[guillaumeS]

It's a very good question Joseph. At the current stage of my life, I am definitevely thinking for myself first, then others. (However I do consider my family to be part of myself too.) It was not easy to start because I was raised in a old-school family with heavy etiquettes, the French "bonnes manières".

But .. It's such a relief to say no. At the beginning it annoyed/shocked some of my colleagues when I declined to go to restaurant for lunch(Welcome to France). Too expensive, too long and more importantly, I consider that "group talking with all colleagues" is 80% BS because you can't speak so freely with your manager next to you.

Am I selfish or egocentric? No. I just prefer quality relation. If I want to know someone, I get in touch at the coffee machine, I understand his taste and what he does in his paste time. Then I offer him (or he offers me) to join me for sports / hike / teather / concert / party outside the work. This is where the real talk happens.

Finally my colleagues got used to my behavior. I think they like it now. I am no more hesitating to say no. It's better for everyone. I bet some (especially managers with who I don't go out) think that I don't put effort to make the workplace a "fun/good place to stay". I don't care. I know that I had the priviledge to go out (on regular basis with some of them) with more a lot of my colleagues. So I am indeed the opposite of a monster.

I actually love getting to know with people. That is why I do prefer "intimate" relation with a real interaction than étiquette stuff. This is actually something I miss in my current job: the lack of wide human interactions.

[Epiphany_Inspired]

Hmmm....neat question...Does serving yourself serve the universe? Very likely, right? Is there a way to do both? Very likely, right? At the same time...you are one manifestation of consciousness...so, how impactful is it to serve only one manifestation? I suppose it depends how that may ripple out....if impact is important to you...etc....

[Nahm]

Transcend suffering , be happy for a while, help others with their suffering, be joyful for life. 

[Joseph Maynor]

I always thought this was a good video from Leo -- "THE $100 MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION".  WATCH THIS VIDEO FIRST BEFORE READING MY BULLETS BELOW. 

If I could do anything I wanted with my time, this is what I would do:

• I'd play and practice jazz trumpet and perform in jam sessions around town
• I'd comment about music and listen to music
• I'd learn the history of the world, especially of ancient civilizations
• I'd do some audiobook reading per day, but limited to like 1 hour per day max of the subject of my choice
• I'd have philosophical or spiritual conversations with people
• I'd travel all around the world and dabble in lots of foreign languages, and see all the key cities and ancient sites
• I'd trip on every kind of psychedelic, many multiple times
• I'd work on my own original philosophy book (which I am still committed to writing)
• I'd hone and perfect my writing skills
• I'd explore writing fiction or poetry
• I'd write essays of my own choosing and publish them myself on a blog or in some other format
• I'd write a little bit on practical personal development tips and techniques
• I'd prioritize work on my own personal development
• I'd contribute back by guiding other people on their own personal development paths (playing the role of guru)
• I'd live in a cabin in the woods on the top of a mountain with a beautiful, breathtaking, natural view
• I'd drive a classic car through all of the United States and see all of the natural wonders and places to see
• I'd keep my health and fitness in tip top shape

 

Edited November 10, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Can’t I be just as happy minding my own business worrying about my own growth and life trajectory — and still giving to others but not needing to make a career out of helping others directly?

You're shooting yourself in the foot without realizing it yet.

See...

1. One of the greatest kinds of happiness comes from giving to others meaningfully (i.e., being meaningfully useful in the world).
2. Being creative is also one of the greatest kinds of happiness
3. You live in a society, where most meaning is connected to society in some way

So the optimal situation would be: a job where you are maximally useful, which is maximally creative, which is maximally meaningful.

But instead you choose not to do that. So what will happen? You have effectively consigned yourself to working 8 hours per day doing something which is: not useful, not creative, not meaningful, just to pay your bills.

By choosing not to have an impactful career, you've chosen a mediocre career as the default position.

Good luck being happy with that strategy. But hey, it's what you wanted: cleaning people's toilets for money while you play your jazz flute on the weekends at home for your cat

If your career is anything other than your greatest passion, then that means you're spending 50% of your waking life doing something less interesting and fun than you could be doing.

[Joseph Maynor]

Damn guys!  Looka this.

My Life purpose: (summary from the bulletpoint list):

FREELANCE WRITER

• Music writer and critic;
• Philosophy or spirituality writing;
• Travel writing;
• Health and fitness writing;
• Philosophy book (author);
• Essay writing/ blogging;
• Personal development writing.
   

Edited November 10, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Joseph Maynor]

Looka this.  I took the bulletpoint list and summarized it into topics.  This is my dream life put into topics.  I cut out the hobbies, the fluff.  

MY DREAM LIFE

• Listen to Audiobooks (or Audio Courses);
• Engage in Spiritual and Philosophical Discourse;
• International and Domestic Travel;
• Experiment with Psychedelics;
• Write Philosophy Book;
• Writing is my Skill and Career;
• Personal Development for Me and to Help Others;
• Great Health and Fitness.

Edited November 10, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[sgn]

18 hours ago, Lauritz said:

In my opinion you should first pursue getting as much happiness for yourself as possible. 

In practical terms that means becoming enlightened. And after that you can evaluate again what you want to do in the world. 

An enlightened mind might cause you to behave in ways you cannot imagine right now. Attributes like unlimited compassion and acting self-less come to my mind. The goal of becoming unconditionally happy yourself might in  the end actually line up quite well with the goal of helping others.

Your goal might become to help as many other people as possible to reach the state of enlightenment. And you do it naturally because now you see the immense degree of their suffering. 

But enlightenment isn't a sure thing.
"Lemme just get enlightened real quick and then I'll know what I want to do".
Maybe it happens next week, next year, in 10 years, 20 years, maybe never.

Edited November 10, 2017 by sgn

[Leo Gura]

@Joseph Maynor What is the IMPACT you're passionate about making???

What EMOTIONS do you want to arouse in others???

[elias]

all about "you"  or not  or whatever

[phoenix666]

the more I walk this path, the more caring I become. I've stopped hating myself and beating myself up. I started accepting my self and also loving myself. in the process I became loving and caring also towards others. I've never been more giving and this honestly makes me happy. seeing people smile makes my heart flutter too. two weeks ago a friend thanked me with 'I would have never managed this without your help'. it was one of the deepest joys I've felt in my life. I just feel this urge to help lately.

I think helping others is a huge point for living a fulfilling life <3

[Key Elements]

When you give, only then you will receive.

Example: Leo gave a lot of excellent, free content for self-actualization and enlightenment on actualized.org. Only then, he is able to sell his life purpose course. 

That's how it works.