How To Convince Yourself To Do The Difficult Emotional Thing?

[BjarkeT]

Hi

does anybody have any tips on how to convince yourself to do something that is emotional difficult?

Would help a lot

kind regards  

Edited November 7, 2017 by BjarkeT

[Leo Gura]

Usually, lots and lots of resistance and sufferring.

[BjarkeT]

@Leo Gura do you have any tips on how to convince yourself before that happens?

 

Edited November 6, 2017 by BjarkeT

[Girzo]

Have a BIG vision where you are going with your life. Then jest remember your vision when you are making a choice, so it will guide you.

For example, if your goal is to clean your diet and you are about to put a chocolate bar into your mouth, then don't just think about how it will affect your weight, but also notice that becoming fat will decrease your attractiveness, which will make it harder for you to date, which will affect your overall happiness in life and that wil make a pursuit of Enlightment harder. You get it. Go over the top with that kind of reasoning.

Knowing where you are in your life and where you want to be is enough to break through most of excuses. (For me, at least )

[smd]

I guess it depends on what it is.  For instance, I could not fathom how someone could leave their husband/wife if their spouse had gotten cancer or even if it went into remission.  Can you imagine what it takes to leave someone while they're sick or even recovered?   Doesn't that sound like an emotionally difficult thing to do?  To leave them during their time of need?  Everyone would call it a dick move if you did that.  And yet, some people will do it anyway.

Another one might be: quitting your job when you're at your peak & making the most money you've ever made.  I can't imagine what it would take to quit that either, but others have done it.

There are some really tough situations people find themselves in & in my current experience, I've not been able to move the big rocks in my life.  I just let them be & see if I can work around them or leave them there...I guess like where you leave a tree where it is.

[Azote]

When the perspective of not doing something is more unpleasant than the perspective of doing something - you go do it. Works for me. The trick is to become aware of both perspectives.

[Leo Gura]

@BjarkeT Consciousness and wisdom.

Contemplation.

Visioning.

Psychedelics.

And there's always: Just do it.

[dude]

I got a funny one, stole it from RSD if you know them guys.

Whenever you see yourself going for that comfortable thing and not doing the emotionally hard thing, narrate yourself in 3rd person like this:

"Ho, look at Michael in his third world country. No he can't go under the cold shower. Ach Michael needs some extra care, can you call his mommy? Michael needs his mommy. ETC." *In your most annoying inner voice *

Then I jump in that cold shower real quick. It's not the healthiest thing to do it like this tho.

[Nahm]

 i meditate to slow the thinking down to my happy place, then plant a tiny happy thought seed about the subject, and focus/allow similar positive thoughts to 'tree'. All the rest is just doing it.  the right pre-challenge music is effective sometimes too. 

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, dude said:

"Ho, look at Michael in his third world country. No he can't go under the cold shower. Ach Michael needs some extra care, can you call his mommy? Michael needs his mommy. ETC." *In your most annoying inner voice *

Lol, such a typical PUA move.

"Come on Bro! Stop being a faggot! Get in there!"

Yes, it can work. But it belies a fundamental rift in oneself.

 

[aurum]

9 hours ago, dude said:

I got a funny one, stole it from RSD if you know them guys.

Whenever you see yourself going for that comfortable thing and not doing the emotionally hard thing, narrate yourself in 3rd person like this:

"Ho, look at Michael in his third world country. No he can't go under the cold shower. Ach Michael needs some extra care, can you call his mommy? Michael needs his mommy. ETC." *In your most annoying inner voice *

Then I jump in that cold shower real quick. It's not the healthiest thing to do it like this tho.

When done in the proper way, I really like this. 

Eckhart Tolle talks all the time about the power of being able to truly laugh at the absurdity of our condition. It detaches you from seeing those thoughts as true and instead allows you to see them for noise that they are.

Laughter = acceptance. Ego = resistance. 

The key would be making sure you don't make this into a form of self-attack.

 

[heisenburger]

@BjarkeT Yes I do! Move yourself into a higher state a happier or more confident state, and than it will be easier to do it. Learning how to do this on the spot is an amazing skill. I highly reccomend you read the book ‘ask and it is given’ by Esther Hicks. I read this six months ago and from reading this can now change my state to a happy one almost instantaneously. It’s  also on Leo’s book list as a four star book (although I think it should be five stars  ).

https://www.amazon.com/Ask-Given-Learning-Manifest-Desires/dp/1401904599

I highly reccomend this to learn how to change to optimism ease and happiness whenever you want. 

 

Of course you dont have to buy to buy a book if you don’t want. So below are some free resources now you can use to change your state and make doing the difficult thing more easy.

Meditation to change state:

 

This next one is if you have an open mind. If not tony Robbins meditation will be enough.

https://www.trinfinityacademy.com/courses/empowerment-1-the-fundamentals-of-empowered-living/lesson-15-jumping-parallel-realitiestimelines/#Change_Your_Timeline_through_Visualization

 

Edited November 8, 2017 by heisenburger

[heisenburger]

@BjarkeT also I want to add to my answer. 

One more very very effictive way to make an emotionally difficult situation easier (and sometimes goes beyond even making it easier and makes it completely effortless!) is to uncover the belief causing suffering, than stop believing in it.

 

To uncover the belief play this game 

 

if I (take action)

than 

(what you imagine happening)

Keep going till you get to the root and you absolutely 100% cannot go further.

 

Heres an example for me, on an issue talking to a girl I found attractive, which was hard for me due to nervousness.

 

If I 

Talk to this girl

Than

She will reject me.

If 

She rejects me

than

I will be embarassed

If 

I am embarassed

than

I am alone and miserable.

 

So that's an example of me uncovering the hidden belief. In this case the action was difficult because of a hidden belief I would end up alone and miserable for doing it. Once you have the hidden belief you can stop beliving it by questioning it ask.

1: Is this thought actually true?

2: Can I 100% know that this thought is really true always?

3: What would I feel like if I could not believe this thought as hard as I tried.

4: How do I feel when I do believe the thought.

5: Can I think of three reasons why the opposite of it might be true? (eg for my thought above I would think of three reasons why the opposite thought "I won't end up alone and miserable if I ask a girl out" might be true.

As long as you actually really answer the 5 questions above truly in your mind and try your best to get the most honest answer being as rational as possible, the feeling will start dissolving.

 

Please ask any questions about this if you have any i've spent around 30 hours just doing this kind of stuff.

 

 

Edited November 8, 2017 by heisenburger

[Jhonny]

 

"Ho, look at Michael in his third world country. No he can't go under the cold shower. Ach Michael needs some extra care, can you call his mommy? Michael needs his mommy. ETC." *In your most annoying inner voice *


@dude. Thanks for this man. You know any more of these??

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@BjarkeT Hmmm. ..cold showers , wanting truth at all costs, thinking about the desired outcome more than the path/suffering leading to it, etc... for me, I am still stuck in using will-power to do these things...eventually/ apparently, you can do this from a place of true understanding, rather than forcing yourself....apparently that will lead to long-term successes/ ultimate achievements, etc  

[dude]

@Jhonny Not really no. I wish I had more techniques like these lol.

Also take in consideration what @aurum said tho.

[egoeimai]

I think that, there's a specific time after you've tried everything and suffered a lot, and then it just clicks! 

[Znep]

Take a step back

 

@Leo Gura YOU'RE A GODDAMN ARTIST!!!!

On 08/11/2017 at 10:50 AM, Leo Gura said:

Yes, it can work. But it belies a fundamental rift in oneself.

THIS IS ART!!!!

 

 

 

 

... but you're maybe only the world's second biggest homo:

Quote

Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great. 
--Roger de Bussy

 

 

 

this way please... (this one's got more stamina)

Edited November 11, 2017 by Znep

[Znep]

Take a step back

On 08/11/2017 at 10:50 AM, Leo Gura said:

Lol, such a typical PUA move.

"Come on Bro! Stop being a fa*****! Get in there!"

 

Funny: how words can be interpreted in different ways
 

 

this way please...

Edited November 11, 2017 by Znep