People Who Have Overcome Suicidal Thoughts: What Got You Through It When Your Brain/mind Said "no" To Life? Just A Incredible Strong Belief That It Will Get Better?

[Nadosa]

Thanks. I guess I experienced a partial ego death. I am not quite there yet, it is painful. I haven't realized yet that I am already complete, I cling very hard to the mind / ego. 

[Nadosa]

Went for a walk today. It was pretty painful, my thinking is actually the trigger for painful automatic thoughts, it was pretty damn hell. I then decided to sit down on a field tried to do nothing...basically I got so tired just after 20mins walking. The last 20 mins I did high intensity running and it worked pretty well after the meditation. After all a quite painful experience.

[Shin]

4 hours ago, Nadosa said:

Went for a walk today. It was pretty painful, my thinking is actually the trigger for painful automatic thoughts, it was pretty damn hell. I then decided to sit down on a field tried to do nothing...basically I got so tired just after 20mins walking. The last 20 mins I did high intensity running and it worked pretty well after the meditation. After all a quite painful experience.

Keep it up, the pain will disappear if you don't hide it and feel it.

[Nadosa]

Thing is, anxiety was easy to cure compared to this. But now I have no clue if I will ever get over this since the thoughts make a recovery look impossible. I know that I know nothing, but it freaks me out not to know anything because I clearly feel that there is something wrong and that my thought patterns are absolutely not normal.

I mean what do I know? Literally nothing, I dont know what the mind is, why it spits the thoughts at me, why I feel the feelings, why I feel so delusional. 

Edited November 23, 2017 by Nadosa

[Berjohansen]

You got your answer right there but its not clear untill you know. You dont want those thoughts so who creates them? Obviously not you right? Then why listen to them? How can you NOT listen to them? WHO is listening to them? Your brain is wrong producing those thoughts. Dont believe a second their yours.

and ask your doc about moodstabilizers like lamictal/lamotrigin. A big help to me atleast.. 

all the best??

[h inandout]

I would be in and out of negative thinking patterns if I felt I couldn't get grounded either.  You are probably facing a whole amalgamation of situational problems.  It is really easy to go up to someone and simply say, "I need a hug," and get that need met right away.  But when you have a variety of complex problems, it's a lot harder to find supportive people who are willing to be there for you through the overwhelm.  It even takes time and consistent effort to find a therapist or similar healer who suites you.

I think that when the negativity is causing a spiral, it is so plainly obvious that you are up against a wall of some sort, and at that point your brain somehow grants you permission to surrender.  When this happens to me I personally feel very sedated and neutral.  I try to stay in this neutral place until my will leads me in any direction other than towards the wall.  Eating something, walking (like you do), studying something neutral like Hindi or Lyme disease, dance meditation, stomping and punching the trauma and inflammation out of my body.  Those are what I've been doing recently.  I can't exactly say I am at peace yet though.

[Guest Quanty]

This is how you really break a magic spell or conditioning:

Maybe someone stronger that the other put a death feeling or thought in other's subconscious mind.

Subconcious Mind: Root Chakra/Adam's Apple/Red/Do/Rabbit Hole etc.

Rediscover your mind/body energy flow and break the cycle of death.

 

Blessings

[TheDarkSorcerer]

@Buba  I understand your pain. I practically raised myself, and usually felt alone in my head due to trauma, and from the start I was inflicted with a deep hole of a heart, trauma, pain, suffering, loneliness.. quite disturbed, one day, I hope it will subside, but until then, this pain fuels my art, and I have lots of fuel to run on. A child born unto chaos, becomes a fine misanthrope, at least within the modern age.