Wrong Orientation For Enlightenment?

[cle103]

Hi there, from my last mushroom trip I got the pretty clear message that I should focus more on enlightenment and I've been consistent with my inquiry ever since. However I've got the feeling that my "orientation" is not yet in line with what's most effective...

Let me explain: 

I heard both Adyashanti and Leo talk about that in order to get your ass enlightened you have to come at it because you want Truth. Not just the "most happiness" stuff. Adya wrote in "Way of liberation" about how you really have to know WHY you're in this business. However if I ask myself this question, I really am in it to derive max. happiness. To be 100% honest, I don't REALLY give a fuck about Truth (most times).  

It seems to simple. I mean Truth is just what is. At least I think that on an conceptual level. 

Nevertheless I have periods in my inquiry and meditation when I really want to know. Especially when I remember my last trip, where I had a glimpse into the nature of creation and reality. Then I have a desire to grasp and understand it (good luck with that one). 

So if I had to sum up my question in simple terms, it would be: 

"How can I develop a desire for Truth and tap into the adequate motivation to get enlightened?" 

Side note: I've been meditating for about 2 years (average of one 1 hour/day), had one minor enlightenment experience just after I started and had 4 mushroom trips. 

Any thoughts are welcomed.

- Cheers

Edited November 5, 2017 by cle103

[LaucherJunge]

The most important thing in this case is, you need to find where your primary commitment lies. It is unconscious for nearly everyone what his true commitment is. What core is your life build around? What is the theme that keeps overshadowing all other areas with some influence?
If you manage to find it out and make it conscious you can then shift your primary commitment from this to spiritual work/enlightenment, because with it being conscious it becomes your conscious decision and not just an unconscious pattern.

[Nahm]

@cle103 Might be received as a bold comment to your inquiry, but, there is truth or there is ignorance. We are all picking one or the other. To me, this is synonymous with love & flow, vs, being lost in the current created by those less ignorant. Ignorance of the truth is sustained by denial of self, and that is suffering. I would consider that you created beliefs about what the truth is, and those beliefs can be shed. That’s the process really, the transcendence of belief prisons. When we begin to have the knowledge that this takes tremendous practice and patience, the ego tends to try to erode the experience. 

[cle103]

@Nahm Yes, of course it's a belief prison. But currently I haven't really gotten into how I can get my ass out of there. Truth seems to simple, so I overlook it and mentally masturbate. And therefore I am stuck and don't take inquiry serious enough. 

What would you suggest? 

[cle103]

@LaucherJunge Yes, my primary commitment is my happiness and well being, not yet Truth. I can feel it shifting from time to time when inquiry is deep, but it's not yet nearly strong enough (I would think). How would you go about changing and shifting? 

[LaucherJunge]

@cle103
This should already do the trick if you are really honest with yourself that it truly is happiness and well being. You have to analyze your actions, especially things you tend to aviod for the sake of this primary commitment.
Now if it really is that, you basically just would have to tell to yourself I don't want to commit to happiness and well being anymore, I want to commit to the Truth, maybe try it as a mantra for a session or something like that, another good option is to becoming conscious of more and more things that you do in pursuit of well being and happiness and then consciously giving them up or reducing them for the sake of truth. The problem I see here is that most people actually pursue this truth of enlightenment because of happiness and well being, which would mean that you could actually have another primary commitment then you thought, that is stopping you.
Maybe you just need to align the understanding that true happiness and well being will come with enlightenment and commit to it in the way of enlightenment work instead of other activities.

[cle103]

On 5.11.2017 at 6:23 PM, LaucherJunge said:

The problem I see here is that most people actually pursue this truth of enlightenment because of happiness and well being,

Yes, that's me most of the time. I think I have to grow some more or have some kind of shift in order to pursue Truth for truth's sake. The question is only how... 

[LaucherJunge]

@cle103
That is the hard way in my opinion. The easier trick here would be to understand that real happiness which is beyond what you can imagine will only come with enlightenment, so that it becomes a path that is worth going even if you have to invest, on the other hand I am not saying that the path of enlightenment itself neccessarily excludes happiness though, you can still be happy most of the time doing this work, I am certain of that. 
I myself didn't commit to truth either, yet I am very happy most of the time trough the spiritual work alone, sure this happiness is probably not comparable to enlightenment, but enlightenment is really so far out there that I would rather go the safe way, instead of destroying myself with possibly no result for my whole lifetime.

Edited November 8, 2017 by LaucherJunge

[cle103]

@LaucherJunge Yes, I'm pretty happy as well, but I guess that's part of the issue (or could be, not trying to get into a self fullfilling prophecy). When you look at how ppl. like Tolle, Adyashanti, Byron Katie got enlightened it was a full surrender out of suffering/disassociation from the self. Quite tricky...  

[Kserkkj]

On 11/5/2017 at 4:48 AM, cle103 said:

 

Let me explain: 

I heard both Adyashanti and Leo talk about that in order to get your ass enlightened you have to come at it because you want Truth. Not just the "most happiness" stuff. Adya wrote in "Way of liberation" about how you really have to know WHY you're in this business. However if I ask myself this question, I really am in it to derive max. happiness. To be 100% honest, I don't REALLY give a fuck about Truth (most times).  

It seems to simple. I mean Truth is just what is. At least I think that on an conceptual level. 

 

Truth is the only way to attain true happiness, because anything else does not satisfy you to the core of your being even if you think it will. Your motivation is 100% correct, but remember what you think you want isn't what you really want. What you think the truth is isn't what it really is espeicially when you think you "understand it on a conceptual level" that's the opposite of what truth is.

Pay attention to the way you're seeing things, see your thoughts without getting stuck in the content, see the perspective it's coming from. Stop trying to become complete, stop trying to do something for the sake of happiness, only when you realize you are already and always infinitely happy, you will see the truth and vise versa. Then you will do what you're made to do in life without doing it because of lack. 

Cheers.

[Leo Gura]

@cle103 You should be grateful you've had enough wisdom and motivation to get this far.

If you made it this far, you can make it to the end of the rabbit hole. 

No one said this would be easy. We are talking about suicide here, after all. The ego will not give up without a fight.

[Nahm]

@cle103 Staring at the tip of my finger right now, I’m filled with joy. If I keep staring, my capacity for love gets exceeded and I’m on my hands and knees, crying laughing at how fascinating & beautiful it is that it is there. That it “works” and is nothing!  I also believe someone could lead a perfectly happy life with no need to know the truth. Beliefs are tricky though. 

[cle103]

@Kserkkj Thanks alot. Yes, the conceptual "understanding" I got is quite a bitch haha. Gotta keep up with the mindfulness.

@Leo Gura Thanks, that's encouraging. 

[Ether]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@cle103 You should be grateful you've had enough wisdom and motivation to get this far.

If you made it this far, you can make it to the end of the rabbit hole. 

No one said this would be easy. We are talking about suicide here, after all. The ego will not give up without a fight.

But it will go down. I can almost guarantee that

[Will Bigger]

My orientation for enlightenment is compassion- alleviating the suffering of all beings. It's been quite effective.

Edited November 9, 2017 by Will Bigger