What Was That ?

[Alenka]

I have had a question on my mind for a couple months.

I had an incredible experience back in April this year. I started doing Hatha Yoga (Surya Kriya to be more specific) through Sadhguru's foundation beginning of February. After doing it daily, twice daily when time permitted, for about two months, I woke up one morning and everything was fine. Everything seemed like a dream, soft, like moving in slow motion, it felt like I was immersed in a flashback. For the very first time as far as I can remember, I felt happy for no reason at all, I was not extatic but just very peacefully happy. There was no judging, no problems, things that would have usually gotten to me became neutral situations that I could charge positively at will. It's hard to describe.

After about two weeks, I woke up and it was gone and it was back to the usual (and had the SHITTIEST day, I was so miserable haha !). The moment it stopped coincides with when my PMS kicked in, which is traditionally strong in my case. My guess is that the hormonal/chemical shift might have played a role in putting an end to this.

My question is what was that ? I want to try and research it and understand what it was. I have looked at depersonalization/deralization articles but from what I am getting is there is strong anxiety linked to depersonalization, which was absolutely not the case. It felt like I was outside of myself but in a very peaceful way.

Any thoughts on keywords I can use to research that?

[cirkussmile]

You were consciously present of life. 

Now it's a memory.

The present moment is still here and Always will be. Don't look in past memories or research something to find the present moment. 

What you are is the same at any given point in time, 2 months ago, today and tomorrow. It's not gone and never has. 

What you are is not inside the body. What you are is aware of body and mind. And that in itself is formless and eternal. 

Do what you have to do but know that you can't find what you already are.

 

[Ether]

11 hours ago, cirkussmile said:

You were consciously present of life. 

Now it's a memory.

The present moment is still here and Always will be. Don't look in past memories or research something to find the present moment. 

What you are is the same at any given point in time, 2 months ago, today and tomorrow. It's not gone and never has. 

What you are is not inside the body. What you are is aware of body and mind. And that in itself is formless and eternal. 

Do what you have to do but know that you can't find what you already are.

 

True shit

[Alenka]

yeaaaah, haha

I am trying to understand it so I know what I need to do to get that presence again, and more importantly maintain it. But I guess that's for me to figure out...

Thank you

[Ether]

14 hours ago, Alenka said:

yeaaaah, haha

I am trying to understand it so I know what I need to do to get that presence again, and more importantly maintain it. But I guess that's for me to figure out...

Thank you

You already got presence. Presence never left you. The question you could ask yourself is: What is my mind doing for me to not be present?

[cirkussmile]

On 11/6/2017 at 6:18 AM, Alenka said:

yeaaaah, haha

I am trying to understand it so I know what I need to do to get that presence again, and more importantly maintain it. But I guess that's for me to figure out...

Thank you

You can't maintain something that already is. What do you have to do to maintain that? Do you see how effortless it is to maintain something that always is.

What you have to do is to clear your mind to see it. Meditate everyday and start to eat food for the mind and body, not the ego. Start practicing in every moment and know that you already got it. 

I want to tell you to not stress about it but that doesn't change how you see this. No one but you can do the work. Stop looking for short term fixes, this will take a lifetime.