Secretly Wanting To Belief That Nobody Likes Me

[Marinus]

I had this insight that I don't want to belief that people like me. This is crazy, obviously I want this, but unconsciously I can't belief this. I noticed half a year ago that people feel very comfortable around me and they trust me within a couple of hours. This ability is thanks to my open-mindedness, understanding and acceptance of others. There is also this girl I like and it seems to be mutual, but something inside me is seeking for the opposite. 

Any thoughts on this?

[nick96]

Maybe you don’t want others to like you because this would make you emotionally uncomfortable. You might have some unresolved trauma in which you weren’t seen, loved or appreciated as a child and you suppressed the emotions connected to the event . Now, every time you are seen in a positive way by someone your subconscious mind does anything possible to  deny it and make the opposite true. The acceptance of the fact would mean the acceptance of the emotional pain. To cancel the belief you need to face the unresolved emotion. 

I resonate with you. For almost all my life I could not accept that other people put their attention on me and saw me for what I was. I completely lacked of self expression . Any kind of genuine self expression made me feel uncomfortable emotionally . Now I know that it was due to a massive lack of love when I was a small child.

[Klayne]

Low self-esteem is the most likely cause. You do not feel worthy of being loved, so you have a desire to self-sabotage.

Deep introspection is necessary to identify the root cause of it, most likely in childhood. Once identified, you need to release it by accepting, understanding and forgiving whatever it is that causes it.

 

[Marinus]

@nick96 That is exactly it! Thank you