Changes I Observe

[egoless]

some of you criticize me that I ask too many questions and am not doing actual work. But what you don't know - I actually am doing it. Moreover, I am using all these heavy discussions we have to get insights, brainstorming and to test everything. Nice plot twist huh?  

So back to the topic - I am listing the changes I observe in myself:

1) I used to be terrible over thinker. I was overthinking my decisions and past and future constantly. I was prisioner of my mind. Nowadays I observe that some days may even pass by on auto pilot. So far this is the most shocking change I see. 

2) I used to be very indecisive. I used to over think every decision even the trivial ones million times passing everything through my golden logic lens. I used to research and collect information for ages and in the end it would make my decision ever more complicated. Nowadays I observe how I take most decisions very quickly.

3) Nowadays I observe how my actions, movements happen on auto pilot. It seems like I am enjoying some kind of movie. This mainly happens when I am not interacting with people but still. Like when I go for groceries and walk in supermarket filled with people. I just become aware how everything just happens without even giving a thought or ordering my body to walk or take something.

4) In the crowded places sometimes unshakable peace strikes me. I am not sure why this happens. But suddenly I feel connection with everybody even though they pass by and everyone is busy with their lives. I may just stop in the middle of the overcrowded street and enjoy that feeling. 

I'll add more if I remember but those are the major ones.

Edited November 4, 2017 by egoless

[egoless]

5) nerves and emotions. I used to be very emotional and easy to get angry at people. Nowadays It seems like I am learning how to observe my emotions without getting involved much. However I still struggle sometimes to contain my irritability - because of my extreme introversion it is hard for me to fit with some people. I am not good at pretending.

6) Depression gone? I used to have depression most of the times but now it seems like everything has disappeared into the nowhere. And also it feels like it was coming out of the nowhere! It is becoming increasingly easy for me to surrender and accept the reality as it is. And also not overthinking aids me greatly. Excessive Thinking was the main cause of my depression! I was an addict!

Edited November 5, 2017 by egoless