How Do You Fall In Love? How Do You Start Desiring Someone?

[Kimasxi]

How can I make myself desire certain guy whom I do not associate with the "fuck boy" category?

I believe this is a kind of self-hypnosis, but what are the components? 

This is a sweet innocent handsome 18-year-old boy. He's not masculine, he's rather shy. Once I used to believe I couldn't desire such a guy but I was proven wrong. The component that bought me then might have been connection. Is it what I should do now? To build some connection?

If so, why is that some women have one night stands and get horny without feeling any connection with the dudes? Is it because their dudes belong to the splurge / fuckboy category?

[Spiral]

Find more guys, all the none  fuckboys aren't like the guy you described. The best ones are the ones you assume are fuck boys but aren't.

[Kimasxi]

5 minutes ago, Spiral said:

Find more guys, all the none  fuckboys aren't like the guy you described. The best ones are the ones you assume are fuck boys but aren't.

I will find more guys but I want to give this one a good experience. It would be perfect if I could enjoy some sexual activity with him. Another thing is that I suspect I will have exactly the same problem every time I pick up a stranger. That's why I want to be competent at overcoming this problem.

[Spiral]

@Kimasxi Well I've found that girls get in the mood when cuddleing, you might experience the same thing if you cuddle with him. 

[Kimasxi]

9 minutes ago, Spiral said:

@Kimasxi Well I've found that girls get in the mood when cuddleing, you might experience the same thing if you cuddle with him. 

I did. It does not suffice (I experienced it many times with many guys). After some time I just get bored. 
We were cuddling and kissing topless on his bed. I am never in the mood in such a situation. I want to change it.

Edited November 1, 2017 by Kimasxi

[Spiral]

@Kimasxi The problem is the none fuckboys personally, if you want to be more attracted to him long term you're going to have to change him. If that's not something you're not interested in, you'll have to wait intil you can meet older guys (20+)

Normally I wouldn't recommend  changing people, but young insecure guys are easy to influence if you're an attractive female. By complimenting and offering sex you'll find that they become  a lot more confident. If they have other insecurities you might find that having a girl not care about the insecurity can also to wonders. Slight risk of creating fuckboys.

[YaNanNallari]

So imo other girls probably "fall in love" because it suits their staying in comfort zone and they at least subconsciously want to stay there.

Personally I'm a guy but I've accidentally learned to turn myself on almost like a switch. It's convenient because I don't have to worry about being very attracted to the other person. I focus on my sexual energy and how it circulates in my body and in seconds I feel turned on since I've learned how to control it a bit as well. How I learned to feel energy was advice something like this: it goes up your spine when you breathe in/out and down your stomach when you breathe in/out. Keep your tongue (or the tip of it) touching the roof of your mouth in a relaxed way to help the circulation.

For the girls falling for fuckboys I assume they actually have their energy stuck in either their mind or genitals. Sure they get turned on but also slightly obsessed and sex won't be as good and loving.

Creating a better connection sounds like a good idea. If it was me I'd create a good connection with myself and then share it with the other person while feeling how they're feeling.

[Kimasxi]

On 3.11.2017 at 0:39 AM, K VIL said:

what turns you on?  if its literally fuckboyness, either get more specific or ask him to roleplay as a fuckboy.

everyones a fuckboy sometimes.

oh, boy, I don't really remember cause I've been very rarely turned on in social situations (meaning that I could get horny but alone). I feel very subtle feelings in my body when I cuddle with him, they are far far away from being horny. And this is why in general when I make out with people I find it boring. It is always like that. I haven't experienced making out with someone to a point where I wanted to have sex with him. I think I was always horny only for guys who I believed were somehow exceptional, might give me that good sex I've never had and when it was uncertain I could get them (due to my shyness in expressing my feelings toward them; I kept a secret fantasy about them). Uncertainty always created a lot of tension, part of which became sexual (as it was a kind of teasing and longing for more).  I am worried if it perhaps didn't became a fetish or something cause I don't feel any tension when I know someone wants me and there are no external (like social shaming) obstacles.

[Kimasxi]

On 3.11.2017 at 0:39 AM, K VIL said:

experiment with you diet and exercise ratio. see if the shift in brain chemicals will alter your sex drive. — my sex drive is fine when I have a crush on someone.

On 5.11.2017 at 9:39 PM, K VIL said:

@Kimasxii think most women are big on foreplay. lol but you want that authentic foreplay where you dont ask him?
— do you want to say men don't like doing foreplay, the just lick the pussy cause they think they have to? I didn't know it is common for a woman to ask for a foreplay. in my country it's taken for granted.

Or, it seems, you don't want foreplay at all- you desire to desire sex on command.
— I never said anything like it. I just want to be turned on when I am foreplayed. Is my expectation wrong? If so then why?

is fuckboy masculine? sounds like you just want leadership. could be because you've "taken shame from the media" or could be cause you're feminine. — fuckboy is masculine, it's the type of guy for sex only, who got sexual vibe and knows the shit. If capability means leadership, I agree. I've taken shame from the media and my mother. I don't know how much feminine/masculine I am. i guess, in the middle

if its the latter, dont be intimidated by masculinity. it can come off as fuck boyish but really its just fuck manish LOL
— I din't understand what you meant here.

yeah, work on getting to know the hot ones before it gets to that point and drama dissolves.
— I din't understand what you meant here, could you explain? with the hot ones drama starts in the beginning when I cannot look them in the eye so they think I am not interested. they don´t dissolve my stress, they increase it cause they expect me to act confident. the hot ones dont like wasting time on sexually insecure women. If they make a move and I am don't act on it because of being intimidated they lose their interest forever.