Distractions, Solutions?

[DanielIssac]

So I keep trying to meditate and the biggest problem I'm encountering is my brother. He plays video games every waking moment and often likes talking to other players. We live in a small apartment so it's very easy for me to get distracted by his shouting. One of the most annoying things is he tends to raise his voice while wearing that mic, I assume so he can hear himself talk.

I'm not comfortable in going out to meditate and its getting too cold outside to do so anyways. I'm really trying to keep this going but I'm often being interrupted in minutes, if not seconds. I try to ignore him but he shouts so loudly. This is beginning to really agitate me because I'm losing out on this. I've missed at least 4 days in the last week alone.

I'd try to meditate while he sleeps, but that hasn't been an option. He sleeps around the same time I do. The only other solution I have is waking up an hour earlier. Though the prospect of meditation right as I wake up doesn't sound to thrilling. I will if I have to because I really want to cement this in, my question being is there any other solution? At this point I'm ready to do just about anything to get this done.

The other issue I have is the small of my back, this is from an injury I had back when I was 18. But I'm finding that my back often becomes sore. I'd also blame this on the fact that I have no chairs, nor do I sit straight very often. I think about placing my back against a wall but that seems uncomfortable.

I don't mind sitting through the pain though. I can do it, but I'd rather not have that distraction as well.

Then there is one other distraction issue I'm having. When I do sit down to meditate and I am able to actually do so, my brain just stops thinking half the time. The only thought going through is what I say to myself. Very rarely do I get to actually watch the thoughts in my mind. This becomes a distraction because I feel like I should be having those thoughts. It's not hard to just sit there and do nothing.

The only other issue I'm having is with the do nothing technique. This is similar to the previous issue, I can't seem to convince my brain that its OK to go nuts. Yesterday I had my first experience with this technique actually working, but it was a very specific occurrence. So these are my issues with meditation, I just need to know what to do to fix them?

[HII]

Your brother:

1) Did you explain to him, like you did here, how important meditation is for you?

2) Listen to white/pink/brown noise with in-ear headphones, so you won't hear him anymore.

Your back:

You can strengthen it with workout and yoga. 

The others are non-issues I guess. 

The meta-"thought"/awareness which watches your thoughts will come. 

As for your issue with do-nothing: You can do nothing about the fact that you can't seem to convince your brain that it's ok to go nuts and just let it fight with itself as it pleases. Pretty nifty, eh?  

[Nahm]

@DanielIssac earplugs. Back exercises. Focus on breathe.

[DanielIssac]

2 hours ago, HII said:

Your brother:

1) Did you explain to him, like you did here, how important meditation is for you?

2) Listen to white/pink/brown noise with in-ear headphones, so you won't hear him anymore.

Your back:

You can strengthen it with workout and yoga. 

The others are non-issues I guess. 

The meta-"thought"/awareness which watches your thoughts will come. 

As for your issue with do-nothing: You can do nothing about the fact that you can't seem to convince your brain that it's ok to go nuts and just let it fight with itself as it pleases. Pretty nifty, eh?  

1. Yes, I sat him down for almost 30 minutes explaining the what's and how's. It's hard to get this across to someone who is still unaware.

2. I'll try the ear plugs or in ear headphones. My only concern with white noise is will that interfere?

I'll definitely look into some back exercises. I'm feeling some resistance to the idea of doing yoga, so that means I have to now.

[Forestluv]

This type of thing drives part of me crazy. For me, letting go and surrendering is key. It may seem difficult here, yet this stimulus is FAR easier to surrender to than other stimuli. So, I would use it at times as an exercise of surrender. (I would also try to create a quiet space as well).

[DanielIssac]

3 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

This type of thing drives part of me crazy. For me, letting go and surrendering is key. It may seem difficult here, yet this stimulus is FAR easier to surrender to than other stimuli. So, I would use it at times as an exercise of surrender. (I would also try to create a quiet space as well).

I've been trying to do that, I mean he is shouting literally feet from me. Our apartment is very small. But I still do try to focus through the clicks and clacks on his controller as well as the shouting and often vulgar screaming. I've tried to help him out of this but he's just not ready nor willing. So I just have to accept that.

In the mean time, I'm going to try getting up at 7 tomorrow, an hour before he usually wakes up. See how that goes. If it fails then I'll be investing in those ear buds.

[Forestluv]

Ahh, I suppose there comes a point where the distraction is over-powering.

[HII]

10 hours ago, DanielIssac said:

1. Yes, I sat him down for almost 30 minutes explaining the what's and how's. It's hard to get this across to someone who is still unaware.

That's very good. It's fine if it didn't change anything, you can't always convince everybody to behave according to your own agenda. But at least you've expressed your concern. Many people often just don't do that and so they keep dealing with lots of unnecessary conflicts and miss lots of easy solutions and opportunities. (I've often been one of those people )   

10 hours ago, DanielIssac said:

2. I'll try the ear plugs or in ear headphones. My only concern with white noise is will that interfere?

You mean interfere with your meditation? I think it's actually like a cheat, it makes it a lot easier. I personally find white noise a bit harsh and prefer pink or brown. You can also try binaural beats. Or combinations of binaural beats and noise. I can send you some files that I like to use if you want. 

If I was in your situation, I'd probably try out meditating without this help occasionally, to see if you're still bothered by your brother's noises and to try out how well you are doing at ignoring them now. Maybe it'll change over time. I'd occasionally try that out and maybe focus on the breath, as Nahm suggested. Or even focus on how much you're bothered by the noises  I sometimes find that I can make this a fun endeavor, focusing on how much something bothers me. If I can get really curious about it, I try to really feel into just how much it bothers me and then I sit there watching myself how it bothers me so much and oftentimes I end up laughing about myself and find peace with it. 

But the earbuds are definitely worth it. You'll hear absolute zero from outside. And you can find surprisingly good ones for up to 20$ (or even less) if you look at some amazon reviews. I recommend doing that though, because there are tons of really crappy ones out there as well  

11 hours ago, DanielIssac said:

I'll definitely look into some back exercises. I'm feeling some resistance to the idea of doing yoga, so that means I have to now.

Please let me know which exercises you're gonna try out. Because I'm also trying to find exercises that work for me. With the exact same goal in mind, I want to strengthen my back, so that it doesn't tend to get rounded anymore during meditation. So far, I've only been doing push-ups, pull-ups, bridges, some self-massaging and I try to sit and stand straight as much as possible. But I definitely want to do more specifically for my back in the near future. I'll try some youtube stuff out and also ask a friend who got yoga teacher training in India. If I find exercises that work well for me, I'll let you know.

[DanielIssac]

23 minutes ago, HII said:

That's very good. It's fine if it didn't change anything, you can't always convince everybody to behave according to your own agenda. But at least you've expressed your concern. Many people often just don't do that and so they keep dealing with lots of unnecessary conflicts and miss lots of easy solutions and opportunities. (I've often been one of those people )   

You mean interfere with your meditation? I think it's actually like a cheat, it makes it a lot easier. I personally find white noise a bit harsh and prefer pink or brown. You can also try binaural beats. Or combinations of binaural beats and noise. I can send you some files that I like to use if you want. 

If I was in your situation, I'd probably try out meditating without this help occasionally, to see if you're still bothered by your brother's noises and to try out how well you are doing at ignoring them now. Maybe it'll change over time. I'd occasionally try that out and maybe focus on the breath, as Nahm suggested. Or even focus on how much you're bothered by the noises  I sometimes find that I can make this a fun endeavor, focusing on how much something bothers me. If I can get really curious about it, I try to really feel into just how much it bothers me and then I sit there watching myself how it bothers me so much and oftentimes I end up laughing about myself and find peace with it. 

But the earbuds are definitely worth it. You'll hear absolute zero from outside. And you can find surprisingly good ones for up to 20$ (or even less) if you look at some amazon reviews. I recommend doing that though, because there are tons of really crappy ones out there as well  

Please let me know which exercises you're gonna try out. Because I'm also trying to find exercises that work for me. With the exact same goal in mind, I want to strengthen my back, so that it doesn't tend to get rounded anymore during meditation. So far, I've only been doing push-ups, pull-ups, bridges, some self-massaging and I try to sit and stand straight as much as possible. But I definitely want to do more specifically for my back in the near future. I'll try some youtube stuff out and also ask a friend who got yoga teacher training in India. If I find exercises that work well for me, I'll let you know.

Wouldn't mind getting those links and thank you for all the advice and information. I'll be doing research on those back exercises a bit later today. They will probably be military style considering those exercises are the ones I'm most comfortable be. Specifically army. I've got headphones so I may try using those until I can get some ear buds again. But I'm definitely going to try starting with that pink noise. I'll keep you updated once I find the exercises.

[DanielIssac]

I created a playlist of a few things to help with my meditation and I'm going to pick up some exercises as well. http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0mdLnUFojjCqYsANkeRMc5lRAIRb08FJ