My Experience: Deprivation Float + Al-lad

[Forestluv]

I recently did a 90min. sensory deprivation float. This was my second float (the first time was sober). Here I took 300mg Al-lad 1.5hrs before the float. I have a low sensitivity to Al-lad. 300ug is a moderate smooth trip for me with few visuals or "mindfuck". I doubt it's a weak supply, since a friend had a strong trip on 150ug.

I had neck and shoulder pain from the start. The first 5 minutes or so, I thought about whether I should get out of the tank and stretch my neck or talk with a manager what I could do.  I went back and forth in my head whether to get out - would this disrupt the experience? would I still get 90min.? could I reschedule? . . . Then, there were thoughts about how I often respond to external stimuli in an attempt to make myself more comfortable. If I can't completely relax here, where could I? So, I surrendered and felt deeper levels of letting go. The external world dissolved and only internal remained. At about 10minutes, I was at a level similar to after a weekend mediation retreat (similar level, but different space). The pain became sensations like I have never felt. Some burning, some linear like a tight string, there was a type of color or music associated with it. It swirled and pulsated at times. I layed there and was aware. The sensations were not part of my body or part of the tank. There was an openness it existed. There were times the pain went away then returned. I'm not sure if I just wasn't aware of it at times, or it left. The interesting thing is that the pain wasn't good or bad, painful or enjoyable. It wasn't "my" pain. I just was. I wasn't suffering or trying to avoid the pain. I've never experienced anything like it.

Overall, there was detachment with my body. Leo sometimes encourages the idea "I am not the body or mind". I can think this, yet I still experience identity association with my body. Here, there was a disconnect during the float. In addition to what I mentioned above, there was a time a sharp pain happened in my foot and it cramped up and released. It was not "my" foot. There was an event at the end of the tank. A sensation "separate" from "me". Similar to as if there was a sound at the other end of the tank, yet instead of interpreting an external signal as sound, my brain interpreted an external signal as pain. I was unsure if I could do anything about it. It was like I would have to telepathically turn down the signal. . . I've never felt separated from my body like this.

I lost all track of time of time and about 90% of my connection to external reality. I was not in a room in a tank. It was like a semi-lucid space. A couple times a thought of work floated by and it literally felt like that life was a dream I had last night. . . The mindspace was not like "clear thinking" and insight into my life. It was not a common meditative space where thinking enters, I try to be aware, let it go then emptiness. Here there was no trying. Nothing was "supposed" to happen. There was no goal or intention. During one period, there was a awareness of different places of my mind - problem solving, emotions, creativity. Yet, it wasn't from an analytical concept perspective of "hmmm isn't that interesting". "I" was floating with it, but there was no "I". It was sort of like a dream, but without visuals or a central character.

Again, 300ug Al-lad has relatively mild effects for me - and that's why I chose this RC. I can experience some anxiety on moderate-high doses of LSD or psilocybin. I sometimes feel like I am losing control of reality or that I am trapped. Yet during the float, there was ZERO anxiety and there was a sense of deep relaxation and freedom. There was not a single disturbing thought or feeling. As well, there was never a sense of boredom or "what happens next". I also did not experience any OEVs or CEVs. I was kinda hoping for them, yet I could see how visuals may have been distracting.

When the lights flicked on, there was a sense of waking up, yet not from a sleep. I had to reorient myself and it was awkward controlling my body. I couldn't drive, so I spent about three hours in a cafe and walking around an outdoor mall. it was like I was in a new dream state that I had to readjust to. Cars going by, interacting with the waitress, other people in the cafe, the taste of food. It was likely a combination of the float and coming down off the Al-lad. I was very relaxed and comfortable in the setting. I was present and aware of the surroundings. They seemed new, yet not "altered". It felt like a more authentic reality than when I am sober.

This experience was unique because the external "world" was dissolved, yet I wasn't really sleeping. There was very little input from external environment and there were only a few thoughts in the 90min. that an external world actually exists - and that world seemed like a dream. Also, the internal world dissolved and expanded into something else. This is different than my meditations when lots of thoughts reminding me of a *real* world surface. So, this seemed like a unique meditative state. . . Overall, there was nothing I really "learned". There was nothing "out there" that "I found" and could now apply to my life. It was simply a unique state of being.

 

 

Edited October 30, 2017 by Serotoninluv