Social Anxiety

[Akhil George]

Hi everyone.

I'm 20 and i struggle with social anxiety a lot recently. I didn't had this problem when i was in lower grades but when i reached high school anxiety started to creep in. Now i am doing my B.tech course and now its like the peak time of anxiety.

Due to this i am have no quality friendship at college and I starting to loose touch with my high school friends. I have nervous laughing  when talking to people at college or street and I really feel very guilty of it.

In have been doing meditation for over a year now. I am addicted to porn for 10 years but recently i am doing nofap and and some success has been found.

 

Can anyone suggest an idea to cure my anxiety?

Does this happen because of my addiction?

[Spiral]

Create fake reasons to talk to people on the street, like ask for directions.

[Akhil George]

34 minutes ago, Spiral said:

Create fake reasons to talk to people on the street, like ask for directions.

34 minutes ago, Spiral said:

Create fake reasons to talk to people on the street, like ask for directions.

Isn't that a lie act? I mean according to Leo's video "How You Lie - All Your Dirty, Sneaky Lies & Manipulations Exposed!" 

Your advice seems manipulation.

[BjarkeT]

 

[Spiral]

@Akhil George 

In a sense you are manipulating people when you are talking to them in general, you are enjoying their company and/or having them helping resolve your problem. Now they might enjoy your company as well or feel good about helping you but it's still manipulation. It's very minor but you wouldn't talk to someone for no reason right? Just like you wouldn't talk to a stone for no reason.

Now lying in order to have them to help you is something else I admit. But I wouldn't consider it unethical. If you say "excuse me could you point me to the nearest gas station, you're not lying. You honestly want them to tell you where the closest gas station is. It's their closed mindedness that makes them assume you're actually looking for a gas station. 

[Serge]

@Akhil George You have to realize that your anxiety is just a pattern your brain is used to go through. But you can be in control of that. So, for example, whenever you encounter a new person, your brain will choose the most frequently "used" neuron circuit, and, in your case, it's being anxious. Do you remember the railroad analogy they used to teach us about memory? It's the same thing happening with you. Realize that. That would be the first step.

That should open your mind to the possibility that YOU are not that anxiety. It happens, you can feel it, that is true to you. But YOU are something else. Do you feel your ass right now? Did you feel your ass before I asked this question? It's like when I asked the question you somehow "summoned" this tactile sensation. But your ass was on the chair all along? Right? It's like you just gave some attention to your ass. And you can easily move your attention from your ass to your feet.

It's no different from your anxiety. But it's much harder, in your current stage to do it. Your unconscious mind has created the illusion for you that this anxiety is something VERY VERY real and YOU MUST feel it and follow it. But it's no different from your ass touching the chair. It's an appearance in your consciousness. 

I would suggest you the following practice: Think of a situation when you experience not much, but still a little bit of anxiety. Now go simulate that situation. Like, do what you imagined in real life. But this time, try to shift your attention from it. Realize that this thing is present in your consciousness, do nothing to it, leave it alone. Just shift your attention to, let's say, your breath. 

If you will do that long enough, you will realize on a deeper level that you are in control here. Gradually, your anxiety will become less and less dominant in your consciousness. But give it time. It might take you years. Be ready for it. 

As for porn, you watch it because you don't have a strong reason not to. If you had - you wouldn't. And I really mean it. I mean that you current reason isn't strong. There is a part of you who doesn't mind watching porn and, personally, I don't mind it too . SO really think what is your motivation not to watch it?

Edited October 31, 2017 by Serge