Please Help

[0ne]

So I took DMT a few days ago and it was a very powerful experience, however the next day, I began to detach from reality in a way that seemed like ego death. And it was not good. I feel like I've lost something vital in the trip, a part of myself. I don't think I was an egotistical person at all, in fact I very much valued personal growth and felt so full of life. Now I just feel damaged. Is this just a phase? Am I not supposed to feel like myself? Please help me if you can...

P.S:  I am 100% sure that it was real dimethyltryptamine. Also I am in no way discouraging the use of psychedelics, I have watched all of Leo's videos about them and read a lot about how much people have accomplished with them.

Edited October 29, 2017 by 0ne

[Little Plant]

Your ego is backlashing in fear of dying, don't worry... tell your mind to calma its drama

Can you explain your experience with DMT before during and after? Also, how do you perceive yourself, your journey and the world in the last couple of months till now? If your give more detail it will be easier to help  

[Little Plant]

Also another important thing.. your feeling of "not good" that could probably be a feeling and a shadow you need do enter/discover. 

When light is shun on darkness, even darkness becomes light. Fear is there for "you" not to expose yourself, but psychedelics will and always will expose yourself.

But I bet you are aware of that, so if you can calm your mind by thinking of it this way, try to. 

[0ne]

@Little Plant I am very grateful for your aid! I'll try to describe myself:

I am a 17yo male and I have suffered from self diagnosed bi-polarity/depression and ADD throughout my life, but that's also the time I became more spiritual in nature and I've been making lots of progress lately. I am very open minded and I think I could be an old soul if such a thing exists. DMT is my first real psychedelic but this was the second time I properly used it. The first time I got really scared but I knew it was all part of the process. This last trip was borderline breakthrough: everything lost its name and I no longer recognised my surroundings, I felt like I existed on many different levels and dimensions at once but I still couldn't comprehend most of it. The real shifts began happening the next day and it's been hard to adjust. I felt like I had finally found my place in the world and was quite grounded but now my notions are erased and I'm lost again - I don't know who I am or what I want and I feel alone for the first time in my life.

[Martin123]

@0ne Your shadow is being reintegrated, congratulations.
The fact that you are under the impression of being depressed/bipolar suggests that you might not wanna push yourself too hard.
Integration of your shadow is a very paniful and difficult work. And powerful psychedelics will open you up to that.
Just take it slow, may this be a lesson not to force yourself too hard into this spiritual nonsense. :-) 

Life will give you enough opportunities to integrate. No need to force it.

[Leo Gura]

@0ne Sounds like you're in a bit over your head.

Yeah, enlightenment is DEATH. You may not be ready for it yet. You gotta lay the groundwork with self-inquiry, meditation, and other kinds of inner work. You're very young, so no surprise there. Why you tripping balls on DMT at such a low level of development?

It "wasn't good" because you're going too deep too fast.

You thought we were kidding when we said: no-self. Well, now you got a taste of no-self How can you pursue enlightenment (no-self) and still expect a self to survive the process? Really think about what is being talked about when we talk about enlightenment. Think about what you're seeking. We're talking about matters of life and death here. This isn't a game. To undertake this journey is to let go of everything you believed yourself to be. Your life will never be the same again once it's done. There will be no one left to die, because you will already be dead inside.

You would probably benefit from doing some more regular personal development work. Self-help type stuff.

Give it a week or two, and your ego should come kicking back. It's not gonna die that easy.

[0ne]

I have always been able to guide myself so I was confident. I underestimated the consequences, but it doesn't matter now, as I appear to have gone through at least partial ego death and I'm beginning to adjust. My perception has been completely rearranged and it turns out I didn't know myself anywhere near as well as I thought.

[Leo Gura]

@0ne With psychedelics, you have to go slow, gradual, and steady, sometimes taking months to integrate a trip before going back for another drink from the well of nonduality. If you just blast yourself with it, that's going to be traumatic, and it won't grow you properly.

The process leading up to enlightenment is just as important as the enlightenment itself. That process is necessary to prepare the mind to surrender. If it take years for some people, that's sometimes because that's what they needed. Of course other times they were just dragging their feet. The problem with psychedelics is that you can easily shortcut this ramp-up, which sounds good on paper, but in practice it leaves you unprepared to handle the Truth when it reveals itself to you.

[kieranperez]

On 10/29/2017 at 4:25 PM, Leo Gura said:

@0ne Sounds like you're in a bit over your head.

Yeah, enlightenment is DEATH. You may not be ready for it yet. You gotta lay the groundwork with self-inquiry, meditation, and other kinds of inner work. You're very young, so no surprise there. Why you tripping balls on DMT at such a low level of development?

It "wasn't good" because you're going too deep too fast.

You thought we were kidding when we said: no-self. Well, now you got a taste of no-self How can you pursue enlightenment (no-self) and still expect a self to survive the process? Really think about what is being talked about when we talk about enlightenment. Think about what you're seeking. We're talking about matters of life and death here. This isn't a game. To undertake this journey is to let go of everything you believed yourself to be. Your life will never be the same again once it's done. There will be no one left to die, because you will already be dead inside.

You would probably benefit from doing some more regular personal development work. Self-help type stuff.

Give it a week or two, and your ego should come kicking back. It's not gonna die that easy.

I was going to make a post asking about this matter of maybe being better off having a strong foundation of more fundamental personal development work before starting my pursuit of Enlightment and man, this is exactly what I needed. This right here I think saved me from going too fast and thus falling into a huge trap.

[star ark]

On 10/30/2017 at 8:40 AM, 0ne said:

 

I am a 17yo male and I have suffered from self diagnosed bi-polarity/depression and ADD throughout my life, but that's also the time I became more spiritual in nature and I've been making lots of progress lately. I am very open minded and I think I could be an old soul if such a thing exists. DMT is my first real psychedelic but this was the second time I properly used it. The first time I got really scared but I knew it was all part of the process. This last trip was borderline breakthrough: everything lost its name and I no longer recognised my surroundings, I felt like I existed on many different levels and dimensions at once but I still couldn't comprehend most of it. The real shifts began happening the next day and it's been hard to adjust. I felt like I had finally found my place in the world and was quite grounded but now my notions are erased and I'm lost again - I don't know who I am or what I want and I feel alone for the first time in my life.

I was 16 or 17 when i started doing that stuff to so I am not insulting you, or if I am I am also insulting myself.

Your brain is still in development and you should take this experience as an indication you need to be significantly older to try this stuff again.

Edited January 9, 2018 by star ark