Friends

[Shane597]

It is harder to make real friends than it is to hookup. I am losing hope in people to be more thoughtful and understanding. I have opened up to a few people and they rejected me, thinking we are not compatible. When really they just are confused and don't know how to take my perspective on life. I am learning to develope my humor and pseudo personality.

Edited October 29, 2017 by Shane597
I was just being more specific.

[Spiral]

What do you open up about and why do they think they are not compatible? If you just throw all your problems at them all at once people get discouraged.

Also if you bring up a lot of personal development early on, people tend to be a bit suspicious. I would advise against it.

[Shane597]

Why would they? I don't have many problems. I just struggle to make a good first impression. 

[Shane597]

@Spiral Why would they? I don't have many problems. I just struggle to make a good first impression and don't understand where the lines are sometimes.  

Edited October 31, 2017 by Shane597

[Shane597]

@Shane597 I open up about personal development and spituality. Which is dumb of me. I also like to come off real and completely honest. It turns into me coming off as desperate which is not me, well, there is no me. But yes that is me hating the system and not accepting reality. I really am fucked up. I just for some reason want to do everything different from the book Cory Wayne wrote on how to date people. But I am not looking at dating and his tips still apply to making friends. I just don't like the system and yet it can't be any other way. I just don't like how people are so closed minded and so I stupidly try to give wisdom and if they take in wrong I get frustrated. I really am stupid in this way. I just don't give a fuck anymore about the rules to making friends. I try to do everything backwards because I hate the game and I don't like Cory Wayne, he is promoting a myopic way to date and form relationships. But like I said, I am fucked up in this sense because I don't care enough to get the results I actually want. I have a hard time not fucking my chances up due to anger and past experiences. I just need to let go, and play the stupid game. But it is not stupid that is just my ego talking. My fucking ego. Fuck my ego. I just need to let go of this lie I am living, but how? I attract people so easily when I stop trying to go against the game. God fuck my ego, It really ruins my life and makes life possible.

[Shane597]

@Spiral  I open up about personal development and spituality. Which is dumb of me. I also like to come off real and completely honest. It turns into me coming off as desperate which is not me, well, there is no me. But yes that is me hating the system and not accepting reality. I really am fucked up. I just for some reason want to do everything different from the book Cory Wayne wrote on how to date people. But I am not looking at dating and his tips still apply to making friends. I just don't like the system and yet it can't be any other way. I just don't like how people are so closed minded and so I stupidly try to give wisdom and if they take in wrong I get frustrated. I really am stupid in this way. I just don't give a fuck anymore about the rules to making friends. I try to do everything backwards because I hate the game and I don't like Cory Wayne, he is promoting a myopic way to date and form relationships. But like I said, I am fucked up in this sense because I don't care enough to get the results I actually want. I have a hard time not fucking my chances up due to anger and past experiences. I just need to let go and play the stupid game. But it is not stupid that is just my ego talking. My fucking ego. Fuck my ego. I just need to let go of this lie I am living, but how? I attract people so easily when I stop trying to go against the game. God fuck my ego, It really ruins my life and makes life possible. Yes, I see holes in my logic and yes this is egoic. But it does not mean this frustration goes away all the time, even if I meditate. It pops up as a reminder that I suck at the game and I am disliking myself. Which I need to get over this bullshit because it is such a waste of time to worry too much about friends.

[Spiral]

@Shane597 I would recommend not telling people how they are "problematic" they'll take it personally. They don't want your help and you trying to help will just offend them.

I don't think this is necessary your ego, you simply want to help right?

As for rules, I don't think there are that many. There are ways to make it easier, is there anything specific you want to do with you friends? Or simply quench the loneliness. I personally have problems with loneliness even though I have plenty of friends.

As for genuinely being "undesperate" you can try to have two potential friends at the same time. Might take longer to pull off.

Here a sneaky way, find girl that likes you, make friends with her, friend zone. Done. Desire can grease the gears. It can take months for her to realise you won't sleep with her, by this time you have learned a lot have possibly made some more friend though her.Girls in general are good friends.

Edited October 31, 2017 by Spiral

[Shane597]

Honestly, I am trying to fill a friends need because I have very few and have not made many at my new home location. There is a difference between filling a gap and achieving needs, but I am going about it the wrong way with girls. And yes, I am trying to help people, but I am going about it the wrong way too. @Spiral

Edited October 31, 2017 by Shane597

[Spiral]

@Shane597 Alright I see what you mean. Well for me moving within the same city helped( from apartment to a dorm) I was completely lost and friendless. I made quite a few  friends here and now I'm fine in this regard, even if I move out. I easy to take it really personally but it's often just bad luck.

[BobbyLowell]

i know what it feels like to feel outcasted and just thinking like people are just living and bathing in shallowness. Today someone approached me and started talking about how passionate he was in equality. yea, he might of been perceived as wierd but there is always people who align with your interests and beliefs and just stick through. im sure that if you stay brave and authentic, everything will work out for you. im actually going through something similar right now. I set a lot of bad impressions in the past and i just dont know who to hang around. Im scared of getting judged, im sensitive, even though ive been drilling things like "i am completely independent of the positive or negative opinions of other people" for months. but i know if i summon my bravery and dont lose my values i will have an amazing life. people dont like being told their flaws- can you imagine if someone came up to you and said everything THEY THOUGHT was wrong about you (which might or might not even be right)? we are supposed to surround ourselves with positive people. if you want positive friends in your life, be a positive friend. dont be judgmental.

[BobbyLowell]

also, the best thing you can do for yourself right now. is love who you are now. it will get better. you are amazing. other people should only have a positive impact on you. no needing is good that is selfish. when everyting is good again you dont want it to be becasue you ran away from who you were. you are likeable, lovable, and when it gets better you wont judge you or others for being like the past you. thanks.

[Shane597]

@BobbyLowell @Spiral Well, I did not mean to come off the way I did to these people and I certainly did not mean to seem like I was picking out their flaws if it seemed that way to them. Honestly, I am still so lost on the situation. I also seem to present myself inathentically most of the time because I am very complex and because I don't like the harsh environment.