Feeling Stuck

[Saiph]

How do I make my life fullfilling by going to school?

I am a 16 year old and it is 3 years until I need to choose a university to go to. I've watched all of Leo's videos, I meditate for 30min everyday (been doing it for almost 2 years) and read a book a month - it has helped me with A LOT, can't express how grateful i am over the fact that Leo makes videos. But anyways, my lifestyle is not that great. I am addicted to caffeine, video games and my consciousness is sometimes quite low due to the fact that i go to school with my friends and i get easily distracted by school and other meaningless stuff. I have absolutely no idea of what I'm here to do in life. Life seems like just something random i just got and I need to suffer for another 80 years until i die and can finally get rid of my life. So i am here now in this life, what do I do? I am usually not sad, but after one and a half year of trying to figure out what i am about to do in my life I am slowly starting to loose motivation and the spark to live a actualized life, even tho I KNOW that the only reason I am alive is to become a actualizing human begin. All of my friends, family and people that I interact with can't seem to help me with this problem. I want deep inside a creative, truthfull and a conscious way of begin but my ego is in the fucking way, I am in my own way. I usally wake up feeling like a victim even tho i try not to get trapped to the victim mentality. I want to sometimes just get away from life, because I really really don't want to work at a meaningless 9-5 job. The only reason i want to live is because of i want my career to be amazing. I know a lot about my self, but how do I actually get started, where do I begin and how can i possibly get the deep motivation to get started with my life? How can i find my purpose when there are a lot of people pulling me in opposite directions? I am young so I do not know almost anything about the world. please help 

Need some viewpoint, Thanks.

[LaucherJunge]

@Saiph
I feel like you are too serious about life. Find the joy and fun of life instead of the unconscious way of living in some kind of egoic desires of a great career. Keep on doing spiritual work, watching many different spiritual teachers not only leo.
You should also start being authentic in school because the reason you become unconscious with your friends in school is usually because of inauthenticity.
Find the joy of being alive without doing any activity, just breathing itself can be wonderful. Start a habit of making a conscious effort to think positively and it might become your pattern of thinking even if you become unconscious for a while. Try doing some shadow work, resolving traumas from childhood.
live the moment instead of worrying about your future, of course you should have a wage plan for your future but it is useless to be thinking about it constantly, it just causes anxiety.

Edited October 28, 2017 by LaucherJunge