Do You Consider Sex A Need?

[Stef]

@Sigma Yeah, Tesla was celibate and Newton died a virgin. So those are examples of great scientists channeling their energy in the right way. However, I'm curios...have you ever had a wet dream? Any sexual thoughts at all? Or do you just unlearn everything?

[dystopia]

@Sigma As someone who was sexually anf physically abused by my ex husband (and hated myself for a long time), I felt it a necessary step in my development of self-love to express my sexuality freely. Masturbating has removed my constraints and made me less self concious about my body. I don't see any good reason to stop something that has helped my mental health & image of myself. 

@Ken Lecoq  why do you think your body has to release at night? Obviously because you don't do it and it's necessary to for health. I guess if your body will do it anyways maybe there is no need for you to, I guess. But I think it's something that can be super enjoyable & I don't get why people want to deny themselves pleasure? In my opinion it is rooted in shame.

[Electron]

@Neuroticon Actually I am a physics student too. I have sexual thoughts but like I said they stay for very short periods & I don't relate with them so they kind of disappear. Also, I am asocial, and hardly watch any media. So you can say I only condition my mind with things I find valuable and so the thoughts are more or less a reflection of that conditioning. 

Edited February 23, 2016 by Sigma

[Dhana Choko]

Sex is a need until it isn't... 

[Ken Lecoq]

@shouldnt If there is a need for me, I don't feel it... It might be an unconscious need... I don't know. I don't feel like I need it, and I'm not feeling that I'm denying myself from pleasure at all. The day I have a girlfriend, I will learn this aspect of myself, great ; but If a don't have any girlfriend in this life, that's great too, I will accept whatever is coming to me. 

Now... Me and @Sigma  are trying to demonstrate you the we are right and you wrong ; and you are trying to demonstrate us that you are right and us wrong... That's pointless... 

Maybe we should accept and respect the point of view of everyone. Everybody is right in the end, there is nothing wrong.

Now, thanks @Dhana Choko

21 minutes ago, Dhana Choko said:

Sex is a need until it isn't... 

That's true. 

Now, if some of you have question about how is the life without the feeling of a need for sex or masturbation, feel free to ask. 

Edited February 23, 2016 by Ken Lecoq

[dystopia]

@Ken Lecoq OK well, have you ever considered a physical or mental disorder you may have that lessens the urge? I know when my depression is acting up, the last thing on my mind is sex. Do you take any medication? Is your diet crappy? A bad diet can affect a lot of things negatively. Do you exercise? How is your body image? I'm just wondering, not saying that it must be any of these things or that there is definitely something wrong with you. 

I still say you're describing yourself as demisexual. You don't need to put yourself in a box to associate yourself with something that is easier for other people to understand. Just saying, it is easier to just say you are demi than to have to explain everything to anyone who asks. 

[Ken Lecoq]

@shouldnt 

My thoughts are starting to be confused...And that's great... Let's do self-inquiry.

One part of me is saying that this discussion is ridiculous because you are trying to convince me that you are right an me wrong, and that if I give you a reply, I would be doing the same thing. For this part of me, that's total chimpery. 

Another part of me is questionning the sexual life that I have (well, I don't have any sexual life, that's what i'm questionning)... Because in the inside, I feel that I need to have sexual experiences before transcending the ego and achieving enlightenment. 

Why don't I feel any need for sex ? It's difficult to answer that... I never did masturbation, so I never really felt the pleasure of it, that might be why I feel I don't need it, that's because I don't know it, I never experienced it. Now, on the other hand, I have a fear...  I'm afraid of the pleasure I could get from it. What if I like it too much ? What if I become addict to it ? I don't want to waste time doing that because I feel that it would be a waste of time... But woult it really be a waste of time ? I don't know... I am proud of what I belive I am... Proud of me because I never did masturbation; i feel diferent, out of the mainstream, and I'm proud of that. 

Now, I see that this pride and this fear are bullshit. I think I need to try. Why I am even talking on this forum if I never had any experience ? I really have to question myself more and to try masturbation... At least I will fight my so precious self image that I have now. It might be a necessary step toward enlightenment. 

Now... all your questions x) 

29 minutes ago, shouldnt said:

Do you take any medication? Is your diet crappy? A bad diet can affect a lot of things negatively. Do you exercise? How is your body image? I'm just wondering, not saying that it must be any of these things or that there is definitely something wrong with you. 

I don't take any mediaction, and when I'm sick, I take medicinal plants. I don't have mental disorder... I don't feel like having one at all. 

My diet is so strange... I was fat till 14, I constructed a low self image, peoples were judging me a lot because of my weight at school; I decided to loose weight, and I lost 20 kg at the age of 15, My diet was almost 0% fat. Afterward, I understood that I was wrong again, and now I eat kind of normal... kind of, I still eat too much sugar, mostly when I'm tired, It might be because of a lack of affection (might be related to sex as well). 

I exercise everyday, I walk a lot, while reading, or listening to Leo's videos, or while meditating. 

My body image... Normal 63 kg for 1.70m, I don't feel bad about it at all. I can walk during hours and hours, that's great, and I feel quite good looking (yes, another judgement I have on myself image).

I might be demisexual or not, I just don't know. I think I lack experience and for now I'm like a little child, I can only tell you that womens are attractive from my point of view.

I will try masturbation this week or the next one, and the way I feel about myself might change, or not, I don't know. But it seems disgusting fo me to do that, I don't know why. I have to overcome it... But I think that there are a lot of hidden causes that I'm not aware of for now. 

Well, thanks @shouldnt what you said encouraged me to do self inquiry about me and my sexuality. 

 

[Guest]

For me it is, and I love it. But not too often of course.

But different strokes for different folks I guess.

[Rosie]

It is a basic need, just as much as you get hungry or tired. But the real question is, are you treating your needs like an animal? When You need to urinate you just stop in your walk and start to piss yourself ore wait till you find a toilet to ease yourself? When you are hungry, you go and grab the food from someone else, or eat raw meat, or dirty vegetables, or you wait till you can prepare your meal? Same goes for sex. Just because it's a need doesn't mean that you just run to fuck someone on the street like an animal....

[SenshiAna]

1 hour ago, Dhana Choko said:

Sex is a need until it isn't... 

Or.... Sex isn't a need until it is....

IDK... IMO it all depends on the individual  

[Stef]

28 minutes ago, The Alchemist said:

But different strokes for different folks I guess.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[dystopia]

@Ken Lecoq It's ok to feel that way. If you are ashamed, I think it's unlikely you will get addicted to it. It is perfectly possible to have a forced orgasm. It is also possible to masturbating and not orgasm. It's something that requires you to shed your inhibitions, be in the moment, and not be ashamed to feel good. I usually prefer to use my imagination (even if it takes awhile to focus) but the reason many people watch porn is because it usually helps clear your mind of any unwanted thoughts and you can get vicarious pleasure from the person you're watching. I don't recommend port (even if I watch it occasionally) because it takes you out of yourself & you want to eventually be able to focus on yourself in that moment.

I am not so egotistical that I have a need to be right about everything. I was genuinely curious about why you do (or don't do) the things you claim. It's as you said, everyone will form their own opinions and beliefs based on what makes the best sense to them. Having experienced shame about my body and sexuality, myself, I can attest that embracing my sexuality has absolutely helped, rather than hurt me.

I'm not a nymphomaniac lol most days, even if I get turned on sometimes throughout the day, I only masturbate once I'm in bed. It's a nice way to destress and helped me fall asleep. I'm pretty sure orgasms do release a hormone that helps you sleep. 

Very rarely, I have had days where I was alone, having nothing pressing to do, and took my time to enjoy it and done it several times (either in a row, or throughout the day) but this doesn't happen often. Obviously it doesn't have to be a daily thing. I have also done the same with a partner but I have been single, by choice, for a year and a half. Mostly to work on my personal development and get my future in order.

Anyways I'm glad I could help. It's perfectly fine that you are inexperienced, we all were at one time. Be patient with yourself. Remember to love, not fear. Good luck, sweetheart. 

Also you sound perfectly healthy. I'm glad to hear you don't suffer from any mental health (or other) issues. 

Edited February 23, 2016 by shouldnt

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Sigma said:

@Saitama Going out in the sunlight makes us susceptible to skin cancer but it also gives us Vitamin -D. Just like refraining from sexual activities predisposes one to prostate cancer but it also gives us lots and lots of energy and focus and time that we can use for richer fulfillment.

 

I have considered, that, but I am still paranoid. It might be all the horror stories have just made me irrationally afraid. I haven't actually found a consensus on whether or not masturbation actually deters cancer. More on your perspective though-- how much energy do you attribute to your abstinence? I'm still a virgin,but I masturbate frequently, and am still on the fence about quitting. Are you sure it's not just a misattribution? 

[Jay Brown]

22 hours ago, Mohsinuddin said:

@Leo Gura what do you mean? Porn YES..?

I guess, when you aint getting some, what are you really left with besides porn? 

[Water]

There's a difference between wanting and needing. It's tricky but thats the part you have to be careful. I'm weird, I have an extremely high sex drive when I'm in a relationship. When I'm not I dab in casual sex every now and then but it's so low on my priority list.

@Ken Lecoq I use to feel the same when I was younger but it was mostly because of my religious upbringing. Honestly I would say experience everything with no regrets. If casual sex isn't for you then you'll know for sure but don't regret trying. Good luck friend. 

[Rufus]

Sex is a natural life phenomenon, lust is the nature way of telling a species to sustain it's kind, but turned wrong throughout ages due to religions and societies, we made sex a much important subject that what it is, now sex have become a compulsive obsession as a result of suppression, not a need. 

Sex back in time was a great responsibility, reproduction is an entire baby growing project, and getting a women pregnant is not an easy thing for her. and having a baby to take care of is not an easy task for parents, that's one of the reason why sex is accompanied with pleasure, because If not.. nobody will do such a stupid thing.

Now since we made condoms and magic pills, we ruined our hormones, and we made this comfort available 24/7, we got used to it, and it became a superficial compulsive addiction.
I'm not saying the condoms and pills are bad, I think they are one of the greatest things man ever made, but I think we should know what the hell we are doing, most people on this planet just don't! and it's so sad to see people are just being slaves to such a thing.

I'm sure that humans from all species on this planet, came with such sophisticated mental capability, not just to eat and reproduce.... and pollute and consume the planet resources.

Is Sex a need?? when our population is around 7 billion that's mostly doing nothing on this sick planet but f**king, my answer is NO.  

Edited February 24, 2016 by Rufus

[Guest]

23 hours ago, Neuroticon said:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

lol man

[Frankie]

On 23.2.2016 at 1:54 PM, kalter000 said:

Some folks here think, that enlightenment is gonna free you from burden of human flesh, lol.

According to this excrept from the SAND conference IT DOES:

 

 

[kalter000]

@Frankie I think his sexual drive decreased because he is in his 100's.
 

 

 

 

jk   jk  

[Psychonaut]

I really felt like me, free of everything and just being when I was able to masturbate to whatever fantasies were in my head. Without any judgement, nobody around, just myself. I like to just be and some of these simplistic animal kind of needs allow to just be. Just being able to be without all the crap in your head is a really great feeling. I enjoyed it a lot.