Introversion Or Issues To Resolve?

[HII]

On 14.12.2017 at 6:45 AM, Joseph Maynor said:

I don't feel like I want to entertain someone else.  That's what it feels like to me to be around other people.  I feel like I have to entertain them

Where did you get this idea from? (I feel like this all the time, too.)

On 14.12.2017 at 6:45 AM, Joseph Maynor said:

like I have to put whatever I was thinking about on-ice until the interaction parts-ways. 

Do you? Why not discuss with them what you were thinking about? That way, both of you could learn something new. 

[HII]

On 14.12.2017 at 8:25 AM, WaterfallMachine said:

1. What is your personal experience with this?

Well, sure being stressed and shy around people makes me more withdrawn, but even when I enjoy being with people, I feel drained after enough time has passed. It feels like I’m sensitive and more easily overwhelemed to high arousal emotions like excitement. I’m more comfortable with being more mellow and relaxed . . . which being alone in quiet spaces allow. My thoughts seem to slow down and I can’t keep up with fast paced conversations anymore, and my alone time allows me to focus deeply and slowly on one thing.

When I’m drained socially, it’s like I’ve been running on a track for a long long long time. My breath speeds up. My legs can get a bit noodly. It seems like the world is squeezing me in.  I get worn out and can get cranky if I don’t give myself enough solitude. I get the need to think through ideas, beliefs and decisions in life and without that, I end up grumpy.

Can you describe one specific situation where you got drained?

On 14.12.2017 at 8:25 AM, WaterfallMachine said:

2. What is a general explanation of why introverts/extroverts get drained/energized?

If you google introvert and extrovert brains, there really is an inborn difference. In the book Quiet by Susan Cain — a world famous speaker on introverts — a psychologist exposed babies to loud sounds and colorful sights. The babies who were distressed to too much stimuli were more likely to grow up as introverts and the babies who weren’t often grew up extroverted. Introverts are shown to absorb more information in their brains — making them sensitive to too much risk and exposure to people compared to extroverts but also allowing them to observe and reflect upon more information in comparison.

Extroverts are more quick in decisions, allowing them to catch opportunites better but also be more predisposed to making uninformed decisions — such as being more likely to have an addiction to drugs. Introverts think more slowly, so they can’t adapt to the moment as quickly or be more afraid but can prevent risks and observe issues no one has noticed.

If introverts are overwhelmed by fast-paced, chaotic group conversations, why don't they just hang with each oher then? In the discussion of this "introverts need alone time to recharge" idea, there seems to always be this presupposition that there's the one introvert on one side and then there are all the other people who are all loud, fast-paced extroverts on the other side. 

I acknowledge that there are brain differences. I just think that there are also matters of self-efficacy, social skills and inner skills that are over-looked.