Authenticity

[BobbyLowell]

-drill into my head "I AM completely independent of the positive or negative opinions of other people" for 5 mins a day

-drill into my head "I love being confident" for 5 mins a day

-spend lots of time around others??

 

ANY MORE TRIX?

 

[ajasatya]

2 minutes ago, BobbyLowell said:

ANY MORE TRIX?

do what you've been doing for 1 month straight. don't skip a single day.

[BobbyLowell]

@ajasatya hey! ive been doing it for a few months now. its definitely working but im just wondering, are there any more ways to move it along?

[ajasatya]

@BobbyLowell do it more often. 2~3 times in a day.

[BobbyLowell]

@ajasatyaok, thank you!! but i have a question. if being loving and caring of others is more important to me than authenticity, is it bad for me to drill into my head that i dont care about something on a daily basis? or will it not affect it at all because i really dont want it to. 

[ajasatya]

@BobbyLowell if you want to think separately, focus on one weakness at a time.

soon enough you'll find out (feel) that true confidence and authenticity comes from your ability to love and be truly compassionate.

if you're able to open your heart, be sincere and experience love, there's really nothing to fear.

[BobbyLowell]

@ajasatya i want both. i already am really caring though and pretty authentic but it can definietly still improve. so is it ok to work on both at once and they wont interfere with each other?

[ajasatya]

@BobbyLowell yes, but you have to have a clear and lucid vision of what it means to be confident. if you think of confidence as a quality that makes you better than others, then you'll be working against the expansion of consciousness.

if you notice a sense of competition, let go of it instantly!

healthy confidence is about enjoying being who you are for no special reason other than simply being.

healthy confidence is about finding peace without the need of low conscious experiences, because a confident person recognizes his/her integrity. important: you're already complete, but you may hold some deep belief that you are incomplete. i'm saying this because it's important that you ask yourself what you ACTUALLY NEED FOR REAL.

Edited October 20, 2017 by ajasatya

[BobbyLowell]

@ajasatya oK THANK YOU <3

 

[Pelin]

@BobbyLowell why don't you just be authentic? It's the easiest thing you can do, right? 

I don't see how spending more time around people is going to help you with that. If these people are inauthentic, think about you're spending time with friends who shop and spend mindless hours in coffee shops/pubs/bars, it's definitely not going to help you. You'll feel you need to fit in all the time. 

If you don't have real people around you, I suggest you turn inwards for sometime and try to understand what real you is like. When you are authentic you will have no problem meeting more authentic people. 

Also, take a look at this talk:

 

[BobbyLowell]

@Pelinthank you so much for posting this!

[BobbyLowell]

@PelinLeo says in his How to Make Friends video that if you surround yourself w people, your fake person will fall off so thats where i got that idea from. What do you think about this?

[Pelin]

@BobbyLowell I rewatched the video and although it's old and Leo improved on it, I agree on most of the points. By surrounding yourself with people, he doesn't mean quantity, he emphasizes that. He means quality time, non judgmental, communicating. That's what I meant. If you spend lots of time with friends, but no quality time, you're going to become fake. My husband has friends like that. Whenever I try to open myself to them it just backfires because all they talk about is buying new stuff, cars and estates, living a luxury life etc. We don't click, at all. Then I become to lose my authentic self around them because I don't want to upset my husband, these are his childhood friends, more like siblings to him. But slowly, he also understood they do more damage than good and stopped meeting them so often. I don't judge them, it's their life and their story. I maybe listened to them hundreds of times, but I understand we're too different to help each other out. Most probably they hide their authentic self somewhere, but life is too short for me to work on someone I don't really care. 

Compared to that kind of relationship, it's better to sit at home sometimes with yourself, until you accept your authentic self. 

Leo also says I never have trouble making connections and making friendships that last, why do you think is that? What quality does he have that makes it easy to find a good friend? Contemplate on it.

[BobbyLowell]

@Pelin are u referring to his authenticity or openmindedness?

 

[YaNanNallari]

Just don't confuse confidence and arrogance. Usually our society has those as synonyms without realizing it. I think confidence requires acceptance and being ok with the possibility of failure so that you may not even think about it.

[Pelin]

@BobbyLowell I think both. Authenticity often requires open-mindedness. Can you become your authentic self if you are not open-minded towards inside or outside?

It's kinda like: Only if you accept yourself you can improve. If you think something's wrong with you, you have the "wrong" personality, you'll never improve. Being open-minded brings acceptance, which will help a lot with finding your authentic self.

[BobbyLowell]

@Pelinhmm  okk. is non judgemental diff from openmindedness?