Reaching Into Infinity: Exploring The Universe

[Pure Imagination]

Wow. Like most heavy awakening experiences, words will not do this experience justice. But I will try my best! I am hoping writing this out and sharing it with you all will help me clarify the experience, and I hope you can get something useful out of it Here is a link to my 5-MeO-DMT trip report if you would like more context to this experience. You can also skip to the last two paragraphs for the TL;DR version

Here is some more context on my spiritual background. It has been almost a year since I had my breakthrough 5-MeO-DMT experience. Up until this last August, I had been really struggling to integrate that experience successfully. My meditation practice was hit or miss and I was left feeling subconsciously fearful to go deeper with my spiritual practice. But at the same time, something was left permanently cracked open in me to the point where I could never go back to being permanently asleep. I have also experimented more with psychedelics which have always been great teachers. This last August, I moved to a new city that happens to have a much stronger spiritual community than my previous place of residence. I was able to seek out a spiritual teacher who I believed would help me make sense of my previous experiences. I met with her a handful of times before this experience, and she has helped me so much in progressing with spirituality.

Fast forward to today, a couple hours ago. I met with her, heart wide open, ready to go as deep as I possibly could. We started by closing our eyes and becoming deeply present. Just being in her presence puts me in a deep state of awareness; I can tell she is quite advanced on her enlightenment journey. I could already feel the energy field of the body intensifying quite a bit. She began channeling beings from other dimensions to give me advice on how to let go. The energy field in the body began exponentially intensifying, and it started moving quickly throughout my body.

It then hit me like a ton of bricks. What I was experiencing was almost completely identical to the come up of my 5-MeO-DMT breakthrough. I started to get incredibly anxious; it felt like I was uncovering fear that had been dormant inside me for millennia (which began to open me up to the idea of past lives). I told the beings she was channeling that I have felt this experience before and that I didn't know if I could go through with it. They told me to be open to everything, no matter what was being experienced. I cultivated as much love for reality as I could, unconditionally loving whatever came up even if it came from the darkest depths of Hell.

The vibrations in the body maxed out - I became everything. The heavy vibration was still being perceived, but it was taking place in this vast infinite landscape that I could only describe as being the entire Universe. It didn't matter that there was "bodily sensation" or a "visual field," it was all taking place in the infinite space of the Universe. On the "physical" level, I could hardly talk. The channeled beings were asking me questions about my experience but I couldn't even string together a sentence. For whatever reason, my lips and oral cavity were forming words in a way that I have never experienced. It was almost like getting all of your gums numbed while visiting the dentist. It was truly something that words cannot describe. My heart was broken open so much that there was nothing left other than pure experience.

I began balling my eyes out. This was what my 5-MeO experience was trying to tell me, but the ego created a bunch of stories that made it seem like a negative experience. The vibrations of the body did not let up. I felt like I was going through hyperspace experiencing the entire Universe. I began sensing the presence of other omnibenevolent beings who were wishing me well on my journey. They were in of themselves no different than pure love. Just like everything in the infinite Universe.

There was something odd about this experience however - my ego was still somewhat present. Not as a traditional body and mind (those were long gone), but rather as a shadow that was experiencing this along side me. Looking back to my 5-MeO experience, I believe that was the case as well. But instead of the ego being a harmless shadow in alignment with infinity, it was the Devil looking to create eternal suffering. Essentially, the two experiences were identical, but my perspective of both was drastically different.

The channeled beings were telling me to start relaxing and to return to my body. At first I hesitated, I didn't want this experience to go away. But then I realized that this experience was quite the rabbit hole, and I didn't want to put my body and mind through too much shock in one go. So I obliged and attempted to return to my body and the physical world. This was not easy. It was like I was trying to control a crash landing. As my mind began to return, so did all of the negative emotions and stories. My mind was saying things like "This experience will destroy your life!" and "You will never see anything the same way again!" To which I responded, "Good! I love you and I respect that you are trying to protect me." The mind did not let up on trying to make sense of the experience; it began accelerating very quickly. I just surrendered the thought stream to the Universe with as much love as I could cultivate. The channeled beings were telling me to let Mother Earth hold me - you are it's eternal child - you are One with Mother Earth. After many minutes passed, I came somewhat back down to Earth and settled into my body.

TL;DR/Morals of the story: This experience was the most profound thing I have ever felt - and it was experienced without the use of a substance. It has stuck with me to the very minute I am typing this. I have never tried n,n-DMT, but from what I have read from others' trip reports I feel like this experience was in between n,n-DMT and 5-MeO-DMT. The visuals were identical to 5-MeO (so basically non existent), but I encountered beings and explored the Universe through hyperspace. The most profound thing I took away from this experience was that the shadow (or ego) is identical to Divine Perfection. The shadow is going to always exist, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. We need it to navigate the practical aspects of reality. Before this experience, I had a tendency to demonize the shadow. I thought I was supposed to become one with the Divine and leave the ego behind, but in reality it is all perfection. No matter what the ego does, it is intimately one with the Universe and your True Self.

Overall I feel much lighter after this experience. Everything just feels so much more slowed down. There is no need to quickly speed walk through life - appreciate everything as it is right now. EVERYTHING! Including your least desired emotions and your noisy mind. They are not inherently bad, they are all part of Divine Perfection! And if you just allow them to be and approach them with your heart wide open, you will see them with clarity for the perfection they are. I also think this needs to be said more - if you are able, find a spiritual teacher!!! Just being in their presence can be more effective than months of a self-taught practice. This experience would not have happened as quickly as it did if I did not have my teacher there guiding me. My anxiety would have likely gotten the best of me and I would not have been able to go as deep as I did. And I probably would have created more anxiety in my personal life after this experience. If you are struggling with integrating an awakening experience you had, an experienced teacher can give you the guidance you need. Seriously.

Thank you for reading, and I love you all. Enjoy your journey to perfection that you already are

[Guest username]

@Pure Imagination How were the beings manifested to you, if not visually? Was it purely auditory? Extrasensory?

[Pure Imagination]

@username  I couldn't tell you how many of them there were or what they looked like. It was more like a manifestation of pure love. But it definitely felt like they were sentient. It felt like they were related in some way to the beings my teacher was channeling.

In the moment, my ordinary paradigm of reality was completely shattered. My description of these beings is really the only way I feel like I can effectively communicate what I was experiencing. Reality gets weird when you take the mind out of the equation.