How Can I Get This Feeling Without Drugs!

[Sine]

So for a longer period now, I have been really annoyed with my meditation (Yes I know, I should just let things be the way they are, and not give such a big fuck, but it's hard..) I meditate every day, not the same time each day though. At leat 20 minutes, sometimes just in silence and sometimes with holosync or Leos guide. I try to focus on my breathing, but also not to be too manipulative, just accept reality and what I feel and experience.

The thing is I have a lot of thoughts, and the whole non-duality and "push yourself out of your scalp" .. I just can't. I can't feel the connection, and I feel very much that I am one isolated thing and the things surrounding me is another thing. And it annoys me, because I know that it is not the truth, and I want, with all my heart, to really experience it and not just know it.

The most frustrating part is.. I have felt in. When I took LSD, also in some way through MDMA and then yesterday when I smoked weed with my friend. It wasn't even supposed to be an actualizing event, we just did it for fun. I was really tired, and was laying on my back, and then it was like... I understood what I was seeking through meditation, and what it means when some authors and meditation-guides talk about how it should be enough to be aware of your breath just because there is so much to investigate. - I felt that when I took my breath in, all the parts, also the tiny tiny parts of my being in some way expanded, and when I breathed out everything "pulled together" it was amazing, and I felt truly connected.

It's just that.. Why can't I reach this without drugs? It feels like its not quite right that I need something to manipulate with my brain to get there. I think it can help to use LSD or something maybe once or twice because you get a short experience of this connection and that everything is one, but if you want the state to last for a lifetime and not just a couple of hours - aren't you supposed to get there without drugs? I just wish my meditation could be like the feeling I had yesterday... And it could be so much cooler to reach it without drugs and just by myself. But it just feels impossible. 

The thing about feeling isolated and not a part of it all, is a problem not only in my meditation but in my everyday life, and it can sometimes bring a lot of sadness and feeling of loneliness. So I really want to work on it. 

(Sorry if my writing in English is not completely right, I hope you can understand it anyway)

 

[Sukhpaal]

Try not to chase mystical experiences, it can derail you from making actual progress. It takes time to reach that state without the drugs, it can take years or even over a decade. Stick to your daily meditation habit, and use psychedelics here and there as a source to super charge your progress/meditation routine.

[ThinAir]

Patience, Patience & Patience

Keep meditating, years will probably go by. You will have more and more glimpses of feeling connected. Once ure 'there', you be so glad u dont need the drugs anymore. Otherwise you will be chasing for the rest of your life and never be satisfied. 

Use psychodelics here and there to refresh motivation and insight, but stick to the daily practice

[Nahm]

@Sine I was once there and I feel for you man. I found my answer was in daily meditation, exercise & what I was eating. I like minimal relativity between food & energy/feeling/seeing. If i eat a steak and potatoes my mental energy is lowered, but my digestive system energy is high. I eat vegetarian because I don’t experience any of those energy trades or loss of clarity & focus. 

That and giving up beliefs, keeping what I want to experience in front of, etc. But the food was the sneakiest. I got stuck in 100 traps for years before I stopped fooling myself and accepted. In hindseight I think surrending food preference and accepting alignment was a beautiful enlightening experience. Hope this helps. Of course I don’t know the first thing about your eating, etc. ?

[Brimstone]

Find the Constant @Sine

It is within you right now 

[Martin123]

@Sine Im aware that as soon as I say this, I will probably get banned off this forum, ostricized, excluded, humiliated and honestly if I shared my address I  bet id be getting a big bunch of death-threats.

but Im just gonna say it

woah

exhales dramatically 

heeere goes...

you don’t have to meditate.

If meditation frustrates and leads to nothing YOURE NOT DOING IT WRONG

its just showing you when its not a great time for you to meditate.

So I present to you an alternative.

Love yourself instead.

 

[Dodo]

2 hours ago, Sine said:

So for a longer period now, I have been really annoyed with my meditation (Yes I know, I should just let things be the way they are, and not give such a big fuck, but it's hard..) I meditate every day, not the same time each day though. At leat 20 minutes, sometimes just in silence and sometimes with holosync or Leos guide. I try to focus on my breathing, but also not to be too manipulative, just accept reality and what I feel and experience.

The thing is I have a lot of thoughts, and the whole non-duality and "push yourself out of your scalp" .. I just can't. I can't feel the connection, and I feel very much that I am one isolated thing and the things surrounding me is another thing. And it annoys me, because I know that it is not the truth, and I want, with all my heart, to really experience it and not just know it.

The most frustrating part is.. I have felt in. When I took LSD, also in some way through MDMA and then yesterday when I smoked weed with my friend. It wasn't even supposed to be an actualizing event, we just did it for fun. I was really tired, and was laying on my back, and then it was like... I understood what I was seeking through meditation, and what it means when some authors and meditation-guides talk about how it should be enough to be aware of your breath just because there is so much to investigate. - I felt that when I took my breath in, all the parts, also the tiny tiny parts of my being in some way expanded, and when I breathed out everything "pulled together" it was amazing, and I felt truly connected.

It's just that.. Why can't I reach this without drugs? It feels like its not quite right that I need something to manipulate with my brain to get there. I think it can help to use LSD or something maybe once or twice because you get a short experience of this connection and that everything is one, but if you want the state to last for a lifetime and not just a couple of hours - aren't you supposed to get there without drugs? I just wish my meditation could be like the feeling I had yesterday... And it could be so much cooler to reach it without drugs and just by myself. But it just feels impossible. 

The thing about feeling isolated and not a part of it all, is a problem not only in my meditation but in my everyday life, and it can sometimes bring a lot of sadness and feeling of loneliness. So I really want to work on it. 

(Sorry if my writing in English is not completely right, I hope you can understand it anyway)

 

Transcend enlightenment 

[Natasha]

22 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

@Sine Im aware that as soon as I say this, I will probably get banned off this forum, ostricized, excluded, humiliated and honestly if I shared my address I  bet id be getting a big bunch of death-threats.

but Im just gonna say it

woah

exhales dramatically 

heeere goes...

you don’t have to meditate.

If meditation frustrates and leads to nothing YOURE NOT DOING IT WRONG

its just showing you when its not a great time for you to meditate.

So I present to you an alternative.

Love yourself instead.

 

No one is going to ban you for saying this 

 The whole purpose of meditation is to help tame the 'monkey mind' and raise your awareness. More active the 'monkey mind', more still time it might require to calm it. Everyone is different. 

 

[Martin123]

4 minutes ago, Natasha said:

No one is going to ban you for saying this 

Haha well that’s nice

[Brimstone]

Much love @Martin123

[Pure Imagination]

@Sine Love your feeling of isolation. Respect it and hear it out. All it wants is your attention to tell you a story.

There's an irritation because you're not enlightened? Respect that feeling and hear it out. You're exactly where you're supposed to be on your journey

Don't run from the ego

[pluto]

Fasting

[Sine]

21 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Sine I was once there and I feel for you man. I found my answer was in daily meditation, exercise & what I was eating. I like minimal relativity between food & energy/feeling/seeing. If i eat a steak and potatoes my mental energy is lowered, but my digestive system energy is high. I eat vegetarian because I don’t experience any of those energy trades or loss of clarity & focus. 

That and giving up beliefs, keeping what I want to experience in front of, etc. But the food was the sneakiest. I got stuck in 100 traps for years before I stopped fooling myself and accepted. In hindseight I think surrending food preference and accepting alignment was a beautiful enlightening experience. Hope this helps. Of course I don’t know the first thing about your eating, etc. ?

Thank you, this made me think a lot today, and I came to the awareness that my eating habits actually have been "going the wrong way" these past few weeks.  I have always been very conscious about what I eat affects my mood, my focus ect. I'm also a vegetarian but I would like to eat more vegestables and fruit and not just avoid meat. It is really my experience that it has great affects to eat what your body needs and not what you feel you want.... Also because I think I have been eating bad food to avoid the feeling of loneliness/sadness. And that is not the way to go.. Thank you for reminding me of what I had forgot I knew! 

[Nahm]

@Sine right on. Being aware that thoughts are made of food is helpful af.  And nothing tastes as good as transcendence anyways. 

[AleksM]

@Sine

Use binaural beats alfa,theta,delta using headphones for meditation. After listening for a few weeks, you Will dive quicker and easier into those states. You can find a lot of those audios on YouTube.

 

[Markus]

1. activating kundalini
2. meditation, meditation, meditation

[Sine]

20 hours ago, Markus said:

1. activating kundalini
2. meditation, meditation, meditation

Activating Kundalini? - I have read a lot about that, and I do yoga on a daily basis, but I have never experienced anything in that direction, event hough it would be awesome

[phoenix666]

@Sine patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. - Aristoteles

I feel you, we're on the same boat <3 keep your vision in mind <3

[Markus]

3 hours ago, Sine said:

Activating Kundalini? - I have read a lot about that, and I do yoga on a daily basis, but I have never experienced anything in that direction, event hough it would be awesome

You can google "lovebliss" and go to the first website that pops up. It talks about kundalini activation, which takes place via something called shaktipat. It sounds ridiculous but I and many others have had results from it. If you have any questions feel free to pm.

[Toby]

@Markus did you do an intensive or did you really order the 100$ thing? I didn't study his stuff that much but  didn't he clearly discriminate between "kundalini activation" and "kundalini awakening" and is saying that "activation" doesn't mean that much?