Desire For Love

[Max_V]

A lot of things are coming to the surface at the moment so I'm having quite a hard time.

I am 17 now and I would really like to get better at talking to and attracting girls. I've had a girlfriend before but never with me being completely authentic. I was always hiding behind the mask I put on to get liked by others.

Whenever I see a cute girl there is this inner dissapointment. " She will not like you", "You are not outgoing enough" ,"Girls only like people who are funny and loud", "You are not manly enough" Thoughts are delusive, I know, but at the stage that I am right now, they still pull me in since this insecurity is something that sits pretty deep within me. 

It is probably not the right time for me to get into a relationships because I'm fixing so many flaws that my ego has, but I still have a deep desire for love. I've never really hated anyone. I pretty much get a long with everyone and wish everyone the best, but that's not the same with myself. My mind doesn't allow my ways. How I move, how I talk, there is always this inner critique.

I'm working on these things with my psychologist but I still wanted to share this on the forum because I like getting opinions from multiple perspectives.

Feels good getting this off my chest.

[egoeimai]

Hello!  I think that you should go and risk everything you have!  Everything that u r afraid of losing. Your sense of 'dignity', risk it all!  Put it under threat. That's how you will eventually grow. So, you have to have these experiences. Especially the bad ones because those will make you struggle and by contemplating those you'll get over this. The fear, the shyness, the sense of 'I am not enough', the insecurities. Everything. If you had a good opinion about yourself, I'd tell okay, don't risk it. But you have to prove yourself wrong, otherwise you won't believe that you are worthy. I may say to you 'oh you are worthy of the best things in life' but you can't do it like this unfortunately. You have to get ? hurt and then you'll have to recover. An easy road doesn't challenge anything. It's all when we lose things, when we earn oh we are totally fine and secure, but what happens when you feel afraid or that your life/freedom/values/security are being threatened.?  Then you'll have to do something to get up. 

I highly recommend to watch this video, now, the title is irrelevant to your subject but he explains everything about how the mind works and its very important. 

All the thoughts are passing by when you are about to risk it or not, (talk to her or not)  are described through these processes. Your nervous system wants you to stay alive and stay safe. It won't risk any bullshit, and the mind from the other hand has these limiting beliefs or illusion that you are not enough or that you have to 'wait' because is not the right time for a relationship, fears and such, watch the video. ?

[egoeimai]

Your nature is love. So you can't deny it. You have to have it. But first drop the boundaries.