What Was This? Tingling Nervous System?

[phoenix666]

I just experienced one of my deepest meditation sessions. I just went with the flow, not using any special technique. then I started admitting to myself 'I don't know. I don't know how to stop thinking. I don't know how to be. I don't know who I am or what I am here for.' I admitted not knowing how to become aware, how to raise my consciousness. I surrendered control by admitting that I don't know how to do any of those things. and I kind of asked the universe to do it for me. to manifest itself through me. to show me how to 'be'. to lead me to higher consciousness and awareness. I felt a huge relief and deep relaxation.

In the process I also admitted 'I don't know ho to love myself' I repeated that. I then truly realized how true all that was. I never really loved and excepted myself. I've always felt worthless and empty. I was a slave of my own perfectionism and ambition. I was never good enough. I didn't only look for validation and appreciation from others. but I also constantly had to prove my worth to myself. I've never loved myself unconditionally. I actually don't know how to love myself unconditionally. this realization was so deep, that I started crying.

I just went with the flow, let the tears crack. then I felt like hugging myself mentally and I gathered all feelings of love I had in me and tried to surround myself with them (strange to put it into words) but it worked, I felt the love and I felt really safe

then I felt a strange tingling, starting from the center of my head. it spread to my face, down my neck, shoulders, arms. down my spine to my abdomen. it felt like waves through my nervous system. like energy vibrating along each of my nerves. I also felt kind of  paralyzed. then the tingling changed into something that felt like cold and warm at the same moment. It was as if I couldn't control my jaw anymore and my mouth opened and my face turned up to the ceiling. the warm/cold vibrations through my nerves continued for a couple of minutes. 

I was not afraid, I felt very safe and relaxed. the tingling was actually pleasant. it felt a bit like coming out of a cold shower and warming up again. 

but I was just wondering.. what the heck was that? anyone having similar experiences? 

much love <3

[Nahm]

@phoenix666 You are beautiful!!! It’s reality! It’s love!! It’s what we are!

[phoenix666]

@Nahm love spreading through my nervous system? I love the idea <3

[ajasatya]

beautiful!!!!

[haai14]

I think its kundalini awakening. 

its close to what you are saying

https://theyogalunchbox.co.nz/kundalini-awakenings-symptoms-process-benefits-support-help/

but its not active yet,  you just awakened it once. I have 0 experience whit this so i can easily bee really wrong, i just watched some people that talked about it.

 

[phoenix666]

@haai14 it was a mixture of feeling insects/snakes crawling, energetic sensations like electricity in the body and paradox feeling of hot and cold simultaneously. if it was something in kundalini direction, I guess it was a very mild form. I've heard about it before, seems to be a huge step towards enlightenment. I think I am far from that, but still cool to get smaller glimpses and minor insights/awakenings

I feel like something has changed thou. I feel more safe and guided. I don't feel that strong need to change anymore. I don't feel pressured into working on myself in order to grow right now. I feel a kind of intrinsic motivation for enlightenment work. less purpose driven, more just for the sake of doing it 

thanks for sharing your opinion on my experience <3

[haai14]

No prob man . Im yet to have any experience thats closly related to enlightment and i really want one to know im on the right path. But be ready for kundalini activation  its not a fun proces  

[phoenix666]

@haai14 I've had some minor glimpses, all very beautiful stuff  but it took me almost two years to get there....then some months ago a kind of snowball effect started. it really is a longterm path. it never ends, very fascinating.

not a fun process? why do you think that? 

you want to experience something which really show's you where you are? something that can be a guide and teacher on your path? shrooms opened a lot of doors for me. also a meditation retreat. psychedelics and retreats are golden nuggets on our way! <3

[haai14]

Strong negative emotions will hit you (very hard purging procces) but after that you are having orgasm every second :P. I did shrooms and when on a solo 10 day retreat. But im in a very weird mental place right now and shrooms hit me really weird. i just produced weird voices and then weirdly laughed and felt very strong negative emotion. I was half concious thru the trip and wasnt aware of anything. very weird expirience. a lot of weirds here lol :P. I really dont understand whats happening to me right now.

[mk0998]

hey, what you are experiencing is the beginning of the flow of prana/kundalini in your acupuncture system. Practicing more meditation will accelerate the process, which in end turns into a total physical metamorphosis to a new being, an enlightened being. In order for the human organism to exist in a state of constant enlightenment the biology of the body changes. Enlightenment is nothing than "an update" to the glitch existing in the human being in it's current state of evolution.

For more info on the topic please check this website: https://ourlightbody.com/

[phoenix666]

@haai14 I had strong negative emotions during my shroom trips. like really, really horrible feelings. but never during meditation. during meditation my most common negative  feelings are boredom, loneliness, and agitation/stress. but usually very mild. 

everyone is weird, have you noticed? like, very weird. I notice it more and more, as I talk and write to people. everyone is just so different. but I love all that weirdness!

@mk0998 thank you for your insights! would be nice if it really was the beginning of a metamorphosis... I am a bit skeptical because up until now, every time I made some 'progress' a huge backlash came in the way. it feels a bit different this time thou. I am kinda relaxed because whatever will happen, is exactly what needs to happen and will only be there to give me a chance for growth. I'm genuinely curious for what lingers around the corner