Enlightenment As A Way To Escape?

[egoless]

I am concerned. I've always been interested in the Truth of who I am and what is this reality ever  since my early childhood. Right now it seems like I am getting detached from every day social and conventional life. All my focus and attention is stuck on Enlightenment. I study abroad and because of that I'm not doing good in my studies. I am worried - what if I am so concentrated on Enlightenment because I see it as a way of escape? My life feels as a nightmare from which I wanna wake up. My social life right now Is non existent and I struggle to deal with stress. The field I'm studying right now does not really interest me. I don't see myself in that field anymore.  It's very hard to study abroad and be lonely at the same time. I need an advice. Should I forget about Enlightenment for now and get back to "normal life"? It seems like the closer I get to Enlightenment worse I do socially and in my studies.

Edited October 12, 2017 by egoless

[Viking]

what happens if you quit your studies? I think with no connection to enlightenment your problem is very common. find out whats the best way for you and do it.

realize you're right now on the bottom part of the wave that is the spiritual journey, I think one should NEVER quit enlightenment work because that's the devil talking. you can minimize it to some degree but at least a daily meditation is essential.

for me I experienced the same disinterest in my area of study when i started the work but now im more and more interested.

[Erlend K]

Enlightenment is an extremly long term goal. Many spend decades in monestaries without attaining it. From the way you describe your situation, this could easily be spiritual bypassing: using spiritual practices as a way to avoid the pain/hussle of having to deal pragmaticaly with your problems. I would definately try to revert your time to handeling your shit before investing more time and effort trying to get enlighened. Enlightenment is not some magical cure to all problems. It is simply fully waking up to the life you are living already. In the words of Buddhist teatcher Daniel Ingram "first make sure you have a life you actually want to wake up to". 

[egoless]

I self inquire and meditate most of my free time. I go out more and more seldom. I am loosing touch with reality. At nights I wake up with the feeling of void and glimpses. When I walk in the supermarkets among the people it seems like I am blending with reality and can't find myself anymore. During studies I can't concentrate on anything because it feels like there is no me anymore who can concentrate. I am like this last two months already. It is very scary but at she same time this fear passes through me without affecting me deeply like It used to. I became totally numb except from seldom sadness from too much stress of my bad study progress.

Edited October 12, 2017 by egoless

[Highest]

You have to go into a dream (or a reality beyond the mind) in order to discover yourself, to get enlightened, to discover the TRUTH. Most never get back, that's the point. Enlightenment is a way to escape indeed, escaping the boundaries of the mind. Your feelings are normal, it's part of the process. You will get back better when time comes for it, if you stick with your path. 

Edited October 12, 2017 by Highest

[egoless]

38 minutes ago, Highest said:

You have to go into a dream (or a reality beyond the mind) in order to discover yourself, to get enlightened, to discover the TRUTH. Most never get back, that's the point. Enlightenment is a way to escape indeed, escaping the boundaries of the mind. Your feelings are normal, it's part of the process. You will get back better when time comes for it, if you stick with your path. 

Right now I'm risking to fail my studies if my current state won't change. I thought it was clever idea to combine Enlightenment work witg studying abroad but these two don't align with each other as it turns out in my case.

Edited October 12, 2017 by egoless

[Highest]

Enlightenment needs time, and it doesn't follow anyone's rules. I myself didn't do studies, I was home smoking weed and doing self-inquiry/meditation for 2 years straight, you have to simply choose. If studies are more important for you, then quit enlightenment for now and do it later on, or try doing both if you can.

[dorg]

As you go further down the path of enlightenment you progressively cannot force yourself to do anything, It either happens or it does not.

Fears also diminish (as long as you are not forcing any actions).

[Forestluv]

Sounds like an ego posturing to retain control. 

My ego’s best posture is that I could act on harmful impulses if I let go of control.  Anxiety and fear are powerful deterrents to enlightenment.

[Emptystickfigure]

2 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

Sounds like an ego posturing to retain control. 

My ego’s best posture is that I could act on harmful impulses if I let go of control.  Anxiety and fear are powerful deterrents to enlightenment.

I don't worry about worrying, though. That would be egoic of me, LOL.

[Forestluv]

6 minutes ago, Emptystickfigure said:

I don't worry about worrying, though. That would be egoic of me, LOL.

Ego death experiences have been the most terrifying experiences of my life.  I absolutely dread it beforehand.

[Emptystickfigure]

2 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

Ego death experiences have been the most terrifying experiences of my life.  I absolutely dread it beforehand.

Mine wasn't dreadful, or scary, but weirdly blissful.

[Forestluv]

1 hour ago, Emptystickfigure said:

Mine wasn't dreadful, or scary, but weirdly blissful.

I’ve had a couple like that too, I think my ego was caught off guard 

[Joseph Maynor]

It would be nice if we could stop our lives to do enlightenment work, but we can’t do that.  You don’t have a choice anyway.  You’re gonna do whatever you do and you just gotta accept it.  The best thing you can do is maintain as much awareness on the situation as possible.  My business has taken a toll during the last 6 months I’ve been doing enlightenment work real heavy.  So, I know what you’re talking about.  But I feel really happy too, happier than ever!

Edited October 13, 2017 by Joseph Maynor