Getting My Shit Handled

[Azote]

Just wanted to share

Finally, I had to merge the "science" and "art" folders on my hard drive into one "life purpose" folder.

 

[Azote]

Okay, I don't knowhow to do shit. That's confusing.

God I need a mentor  Just, get this lazy ass up and find them.

 

[Shin]

You seem happier

[Azote]

On 11.05.2019 at 7:06 PM, Shin said:

You seem happier

Things kinda started to move

[Shin]

Just now, Azote said:

Things kinda started to move

How ?

[Azote]

Just now, Shin said:

How ?

Metaphysically 

I dunno, but 'something wicked this way comes'.

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, Azote said:

Metaphysically 

I dunno, but 'something wicked this way comes'.

I expected a bit more explanation  

[Azote]

Updates, updates

I think I should document some news and recent shifts in my mindset, for the glory of pseudo science.

1.  Cult or not, deathproof dynamics checklist is a cool tool.  Really helps if you are an overthinking fucker like me. 
2. I'm a fucking bachelor of applied mathematics and physics now, Jesus Christ. 
3.  Now that my concerns about homework are gone, my weakspots start to be seen practically, not just as low SAAFE scores. Particularly appearance. Like, it suddenly hit me that my value (as assessed by clients and employers) very much depends on it. I never put much effort into it, because it was about looking fuckable, and why would I need that? Oh but suddenly it as about looking reliable and respectable, and here I am,  borrowing mascara and decent shoes for a job interview, lol. I even started mini-research on how to look decent and distinctly adult female, but without sex appeal.  
4. I became really really fat, + 22 lbs, and there are 3 possible reasons. Either it is a year without PE classes, or a year without learning advanced maths, or a year on prozac. 
5.  Oh yeah, life purpose. I guess the best definition for my recently acquired path would be "data artist". Guys, look for your LP, knowing is relieving. 
6. I also tried socialising, and you know what? Friends are fucking important and good for ya.  

[jjer94]

2. Congrats!!

4. Prozac is a bitch in that regard.

6. Yay!

Wishing you well 

[Azote]

@jjer94

2. Thanks, it was worth it, I guess

4. Well, if it really is prozac, then it's one sneaky bastard. Anyway, now I gotta take charge of my fat butt 

6. Yeah, it feels like catching up with simple human activities after 20 years of being an alien theorizing... plant?.. Lol

[Azote]

Suffering != Growing up

Have I mentioned it already?

 

[Azote]

Fuck proactivity

I'm a reactive person, and you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm here to evolve by skilfully reacting to my environment. To absorb the stimuli and then morph them into whatever the inspiration tells me to.

So, I'm done feeling guilty for not being active, entertaining or enthusiastic enough. If someone has a problem with my style, they can go proactively fuck themselves :3

[Azote]

Gravity != Compatibility

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oh shit

 

[Azote]

Hey, childfree artists make sense from evolutionary perspective now

 

[jjer94]

@Azote ?? Thanks for this. It's reassuring, considering I'll probably be middle-aged by the time I can afford children or even consider having them... 

[Azote]

17 hours ago, jjer94 said:

@Azote ?? Thanks for this. It's reassuring, considering I'll probably be middle-aged by the time I can afford children or even consider having them... 

Science, man 

[Azote]

Perception for an illustrator is like unprotected sex for a woman.

[Azote]

That feeling when a book about depression says that judging about the reality by your emotions (e.g. "I feel guilty therefore I really did something wrong") is a cognitive bias that fucks you up

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And you're an INFP

 

 

[Azote]

Guess who just tracked 45 hrs of productive activities this week!

Probably for the first time in my life, since depression has been my default mode from like age 12

yay

[Hello from Russia]

Shit, I want that too

1 hour ago, Azote said:

Guess who just tracked 45 hrs of productive activities this week!

Probably for the first time in my life, since depression has been my default mode from like age 12

yay