Getting My Shit Handled

[Naviy]

Hey Azote, how are you doing these days? 

[Azote]

@Naviy still on my way to becoming a functional adult

[Azote]

I made it to the normal BMI range. Haven't been here since puberty.

[Hello from Russia]

@Azote yeey!!! 

[Azote]

Turns out I didn't have to become super conscious and "cool" to read a book a week and walk 10k a day. Just needed to commute to the office every day lol

[Azote]

Oh my god, I totally would find any excuse to not exercise. Anywhere. Like the lifestyle minimalism video - it doesn't mention any sport as a focus area, so fuck it I guess.

Thankfully, I recently learned that no cardio means lower intelligence, so that was motivating

 

[Hello from Russia]

5 hours ago, Azote said:

Oh my god, I totally would find any excuse to not exercise. Anywhere. Like the lifestyle minimalism video - it doesn't mention any sport as a focus area, so fuck it I guess.

Thankfully, I recently learned that no cardio means lower intelligence, so that was motivating

 

Fuck, gotta start doing cardio then

[T K W A N]

how would you say you improved over the course of these 3 years any major achievements you are proud of?

[Azote]

@T K W A N bruh, one human's life isn't really significant at all in the grand scheme of things. So yeah, nothing to see here 

 

[Naviy]

Try the app called Seven. 

Quick workouts all below 10 minutes, but can be intense. 

Easy to start and better than nothing, works for me. 

[Azote]

On 30.07.2021 at 9:42 PM, Naviy said:

Try the app called Seven. 

Quick workouts all below 10 minutes, but can be intense. 

Easy to start and better than nothing, works for me. 

Hey, thanks for the app, I tried it out last week, think it will work well for busy days when I can't bring myself to do my longer obese-friendly Team Body Project workouts.

My sedentary ass got coxarthrosis or something though, so it's just physical therapy for me this week lol

[Azote]

I have been doing something good and that which I didn't expect of myself. But I'm afraid to scare my luck by telling anyone and to slide back 

[Azote]

Soooo.

End of the year blog post!

Now, there are still 2 big things I need to take care of before I can end this journal. The loan thing and the weight thing.  This year I paid off about 6% of the loan and now expect to cover it all by 2024. And I reached the 63kg benchmark - this was my weight right before my 3 years at boarding school started. That means I am now free of all that shitty empty carb state school food. Holy shit is it great to be an adult and be able to buy tons of meat and veggies. Sheesh.

A fucking good year. I'll keep my rEsoLutioNs for 2022 to myself. Happy holidays y'all

[Azote]

Guess I have a therapist now.

Was it a smart strategic decision or just a rationalized impulse to spend money? We'll see

[Azote]

The book on personal boundaries starts with sleep schedule. And then goes to exercise regimen. And then to diet. Oh come on! Boring basic stuff I haven't handled yet  again!

[Azote]

Got cleared by my doctor for quitting antidepressants. The withdrawal period has passed, and now it seems I have to make real steps to solve my issues. The major one right now - I cannot unsee salary poll data. The median for an analyst like me is almost double my current rate. So, with no pill, this fact makes me cry eveeryday in which I didn't study some math or updated my linkedin or something like that. It's not "act today or cry tomorrow", it's fucking "act now or literally burst in tears in front of your boss in a couple of hours". Instant job carma lol

[Hello from Russia]

6 minutes ago, Azote said:

Got cleared by my doctor for quitting antidepressants. The withdrawal period has passed, and now it seems I have to make real steps to solve my issues. The major one right now - I cannot unsee salary poll data. The median for an analyst like me is almost double my current rate. So, with no pill, this fact makes me cry eveeryday in which I didn't study some math or updated my linkedin or something like that. It's not "act today or cry tomorrow", it's fucking "act now or literally burst in tears in front of your boss in a couple of hours". Instant job carma lol

Its cool, no? ?

[Azote]

@Hello from Russia ой дратути

it's complicated. It'd like a more stable nervous system thank you

[Azote]

Guess I have to conclude this 6-year-long Journal of Inconsistent Effort and Zero Result.

Still broke, still depressed, gained back all the weight. Shit is nowhere near being handled. Probably would've been happier if I didn't start all this self-development thing altogether, spiritual ego and all.

Definitely not doing any more public journals, don't need extra anxiety sources. Bye!