Life Purpose Contradiction

[Waifu Yandere]

Hello guys, I've just recently joined this forum and am seeking some advice. I'm nearly 18 and currently in a conflicted situation.

On one side I'm currently studying game design, 3D design, VR and all the areas in between by working on my own projects. I do this because I thoroughly enjoy what I'm doing throlugh creating these experiences with bleeding edge technologies. I also do this because I need a way to create a basic income and ensure at least a basic level of "Survival". Now all these things that I'm studying and learning can be considered as "low consciousness" activity that feeds directly into the ego, especially game development. But at the same time, doing these things give me a true sense of purpose and inspiration but all these may just be illusions of the mind or just simply "distractions". The third reason why I'm studying these areas is because of its potential. I can almost guarantee that in 10-20 years, computing will become three-dimensional and I see its incredible potential and endless possibilities. I'm quite certain of this because the "VR" medium is quite possibly the most materialistic, egotistical and addictive technology invented by man and if exploited (which businesses will) will bring society to an even lower level of consciousness, but I may be wrong. I also think that with all things, if used correctly, can also enhance the current society such as your smartphone.  

Now the other side, I've recently embarked on this self development journey due the fact that I do in fact, realize the importance of seeking Truth and also the fact that I feel something is clearly missing in my current life. I now have a daily meditation habit thanks to Leo. Self actualization is the process of increasing one's consciousness (if I'm correct) and meditation as practice is to "ground" yourself to reality. 

So you probably see where I'm going with this. On one side, despite the feelings of inspiration and love for what I do, I'm open to the possibility that all of that may be a trap to suck me into the "Matrix". The recent addition of my self-development journey seems to be pulling me away from all of that. So in a nutshell, I'm doing two things that are logically contradicting each other. What should I be doing at this age? Should I continue what I'm doing as I genuinely enjoy it? I'm open to all suggestions. 

[kwax]

do both.

http://www.spiritualsatya.com/osho-and-his-ninety-six-rolls-royces/

[Nahm]

@Waifu Yandere do both. Your resolve is within, not without.  

[Waifu Yandere]

I guess only time will tell if I'm making the right choice.

[beastmode]

@Waifu Yandere don't underestimate your creative power. You can create VR that is not low consciousness, but HIGH consciousness if you pour your passion into it.

[HII]

Sounds to me like your doubt is an ideologically religion-like bullshit thought.

How about designing some amazing games which are not addictive and actually raise the player's consciousness?

If that later turns out to be a dead end for you, fine, do something else then. But don't abandon your passion because you think videogames are supposed to be considered bad.