Peripheral Vision Ocd

[Santiago]

Hi, I wanted to see if anyone here can relate with this problem that I am calling "peripheral vision OCD", this name comes from a google search I have just done, somebody called it that way and it seems like a reasonable name to call it.

This post explains very well what I am talking about, so go and read at least the 1st post please, and I can relate specially with post number 6, because my problem also started when I was in school and in a similar fashion: https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread34564.html

I have suffered this for the last 10 years, and even tho I just got used to living with it and I wasn't THAT concerned with it anymore, ever since a month ago, when we moved our working place to a new building, now I am sitting facing one of my coworkers and my productivity levels went down the drain, I just can't focus, I feel like he feels uncomfortable and he definitely shows signs of being able to sense this somehow. I try to lower myself down on the seat a little bit so that the computer screen doesn't allow me to see his eyes but that is an uncomfortable position to be in and unsustainable for my back health..

 

I just want to clarify two things:

1)My eyes are not moving and looking at the persons, I just sense them through peripheral vision, without moving my eyes, so they should not be aware of any of this happening even if they were looking directly at my eyes, they shouldn't notice anything wrong.

2)I know for a fact, that even tho people can't physically see what is going on, they somehow sense it, because I have managed to generate lots of discomfort throughout these 10 years in many people, specially the 1st year when it was out of control. I am talking to the point where if it gets really bad I get migraines, and the person I am focusing on starts getting them too, starts feeling like shit and moving in the chair showing they are uncomfortable, they start rubbing their eyes and massaging their forehead, etc. I know this because it has happened 100's of times, and some of them were with friends and not only did I notice what was going on, but they also told me they were feeling like shit and they didn't know why, and this happened many many times.
I can even do it if I want, it's bizarre but give me an hour and sit a person next to me in a classroom and I can make that person feel sick, and me too. So there must be something "weird" going on that we are not aware of.
Anyway I am just telling this because it's interesting as fu*k, but my main concern isn't about this supernatural stuff, I just want to get rid of my OCD and this post's objective is to see if people on here can relate and share intel, anecdotes, etc.


So, does anyone here relate with this? 

[Random User]

I can totally relate. I often feel like my state is affecting the other person. I'm really paranoid about it. It's gotten to the point where I must feel good around people or all I see from them is a negative response. When I feel good it's fine, but when I've got the slightest bit of anxiety, I'm worried that they can sense it and it's making them feel shit as well. 

It's also happened to me 100s of times, therefore reinforced and now it's a belief. I also have a thing where if I'm talking to more than one person, all I can focus on is the people I'm not looking at looking at me (in my peripheral vision), and it totally throws me off the conversation and makes me very uncomfortable. You are not alone. We just care what others think too much. If you can reduce that, you'll be much more at ease.

I repeat....You are not alone.

Edited October 19, 2017 by Random User

[Santiago]

Thank you very much for posting!

You know, I have noticed that when people share this kind of very particular symptoms(like peripheral vision OCD), they also share a lot of psychological characteristics as well. And I think this is the key to solving the problem, first you must recognize the roots and they are psychological roots obviously, like for example low self-steem.

I just read your post "Feel So Isolated" and I can relate with a lot of stuff you wrote there.

 

When did this OCD start for you and how/why do you think it started? 

By the way, by any chance have you developed myopia or some visual problem (even if it's a slight problem) during this period since you started having this OCD?

Edited October 25, 2017 by Santiago

[Dodo]

On 10/10/2017 at 11:30 PM, Santiago said:

Hi, I wanted to see if anyone here can relate with this problem that I am calling "peripheral vision OCD", this name comes from a google search I have just done, somebody called it that way and it seems like a reasonable name to call it.

This post explains very well what I am talking about, so go and read at least the 1st post please, and I can relate specially with post number 6, because my problem also started when I was in school and in a similar fashion: https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread34564.html

I have suffered this for the last 10 years, and even tho I just got used to living with it and I wasn't THAT concerned with it anymore, ever since a month ago, when we moved our working place to a new building, now I am sitting facing one of my coworkers and my productivity levels went down the drain, I just can't focus, I feel like he feels uncomfortable and he definitely shows signs of being able to sense this somehow. I try to lower myself down on the seat a little bit so that the computer screen doesn't allow me to see his eyes but that is an uncomfortable position to be in and unsustainable for my back health..

 

I just want to clarify two things:

1)My eyes are not moving and looking at the persons, I just sense them through peripheral vision, without moving my eyes, so they should not be aware of any of this happening even if they were looking directly at my eyes, they shouldn't notice anything wrong.

2)I know for a fact, that even tho people can't physically see what is going on, they somehow sense it, because I have managed to generate lots of discomfort throughout these 10 years in many people, specially the 1st year when it was out of control. I am talking to the point where if it gets really bad I get migraines, and the person I am focusing on starts getting them too, starts feeling like shit and moving in the chair showing they are uncomfortable, they start rubbing their eyes and massaging their forehead, etc. I know this because it has happened 100's of times, and some of them were with friends and not only did I notice what was going on, but they also told me they were feeling like shit and they didn't know why, and this happened many many times.
I can even do it if I want, it's bizarre but give me an hour and sit a person next to me in a classroom and I can make that person feel sick, and me too. So there must be something "weird" going on that we are not aware of.
Anyway I am just telling this because it's interesting as fu*k, but my main concern isn't about this supernatural stuff, I just want to get rid of my OCD and this post's objective is to see if people on here can relate and share intel, anecdotes, etc.


So, does anyone here relate with this? 

This post caught my attention, because I am now trying to incorporate peripheral vision to my enlightenment work.

I am peripherally aware in that way of the nothingness beyond what even my peripheral vision can see,  which is like peripherally seeing what I project as the ultimate, or God, or Source. 

Perhaps you are too interested in looking at forms.

Try to soften your gaze and view the static infront of objects instead. 

I will give you a video that might change your life.

All the best! 

 

[Santiago]

Thank you very much, but actually I am interested in re-learning to see what I am focusing on and avoid the peripheral view, right now I am more focused on what happens around me than in what I should be focusing on in front of me.

I have an overly developed peripheral vision, and I would like to not have that, like I can literally see 180 degrees around me, not clearly but for example if something moves to my right I'd immediately notice it.

[Dodo]

42 minutes ago, Santiago said:

Thank you very much, but actually I am interested in re-learning to see what I am focusing on and avoid the peripheral view, right now I am more focused on what happens around me than in what I should be focusing on in front of me.

I have an overly developed peripheral vision, and I would like to not have that, like I can literally see 180 degrees around me, not clearly but for example if something moves to my right I'd immediately notice it.

Ok, but the stress I wanted to put was that you should put your attention more on the space rather than the objects. 

This will in turn tune your mind. Right now itt is addicted we can say to putting extra attention on the objects, the things.

If you can consciously retrain your mind to notice the 99%+ of empty space rather than the 1%- of stuff, then the objects will not longer be dragging your attention wherever they lead.

Attention is a currency. Don't spend it on the 1%

[Random User]

@Santiago

I think the low self-esteem/extreme self consciousness/paranoia/social anxiety all started when I was about 16. I hung around with people who liked to tease and make fun. From this age up until the age of 18, I was high like pretty much all of the time. So thoughts were intensified and I experienced a lot of embarrassment and ridicule. I also felt like I was letting myself and my family down smoking the cannabis and dabbling in other substances. Not to mention being a virgin and thinking about it constantly. Writing this I am feeling shit coming up. I am very pessimistic because of it all. 

With people like me and you, we need to eliminate worry and stop caring what others think. I feel that if I reduce these two things enough my confidence will soar. I think the same will happen to you. Self-acceptance is key here. 

I hope this helps man.

As for the visual problems I haven't noticed any issues here.

[Santiago]

19 minutes ago, Random User said:

@Santiago

 

With people like me and you, we need to eliminate worry and stop caring what others think. I feel that if I reduce these two things enough my confidence will soar. I think the same will happen to you. Self-acceptance is key here. 

I agree with self-acceptance, I am 100% sure this is the cure for our problem, but I will correct the order of your statement: first you must accept yourself and gain confidence, and then as a consequence you will stop caring about what people think of you.

In my case for example I believe 100% I should be meditating daily, eating healthy, doing introspection more often, stop masturbating(porn addiction), stop drinking coffee, stop watching so many stupid videos online, etc. And I am not doing any of this, as a consequence my self-steem is very low and many issues arise, including peripheral vision OCD.

When you don't honor your principles and beliefs you are neglecting yourself, and your confidence shrimps, then all kinds of problems arise.

That's what I think from personal experience.

Now there are many difficulties in rising self-acceptance... for instance putting in place those healthy habits I mentioned and ending the unhealthy ones is a hell of a task...

Also you may have a negative self-image that comes into play whenever you are doing fine in life, this is what happened to me, a couple years ago after a huge effort everything was working fine for me and suddenly I fell deep down again, I believe this was caused by this self-image(I wasn't supposed to be this awesome person, I had always been pathetic, so my new life was contradicting the self-image I had of myself) which caused fear of change, I was afraid to become this awesome person I was becoming so I sabotaged all my healthy routines and came back to zero. You see, when you change there is a lot at risk for your mind, you might believe people you know won't accept the new you, you might be afraid this new person won't be accepted by society, etc.

 

How old are you by the way? I'm 26 and have been dealing with this for 9 years aprox, so yeah we pretty much started at the same age. (still a virgin too, but don't care about it as I used to when I was 18-21)

Edited October 26, 2017 by Santiago

[Dodo]

3 minutes ago, Santiago said:

I agree with self-acceptance, I am 100% sure this is the cure for our problem, but I will correct the order of your statement: first you must accept yourself and gain confidence, and then as a consequence you will stop caring about what people think of you.

In my case for example I believe 100% I should be meditating daily, eating healthy, doing introspection more often, stop masturbating(porn addiction), stop drinking coffee, stop watching so many stupid videos online, etc. And I am not doing any of this, as a consequence my self-steem is very low and many issues arise, including peripheral vision OCD.

When you don't honor your principles and beliefs you are neglecting yourself, and your confidence shrimps, then all kinds of problems arise.

That's what I think from personal experience.

Now there are many difficulties in rising self-acceptance... for instance putting in place those healthy habits I mentioned and ending the unhealthy ones is a hell of a task...

Also you may have a negative self-image that comes into play whenever you are doing fine in life, this is what happened to me, a couple years ago after a huge effort everything was working fine for me and suddenly I fell deep down again, I believe this was caused by this self-image(I wasn't supposed to be this awesome person, I had always been pathetic, so my new life was contradicting the self-image I had of myself) which caused fear of change, I was afraid to become this awesome person I was becoming so I sabotaged all my healthy routines and came back to zero. You see, when you change there is a lot at risk for your mind, you might believe people you know won't accept the new you, you might be afraid this new person won't be accepted by society, etc.

 

How old are you by the way? I'm 26 and have been dealing with this for 9 years aprox, so yeah we pretty much started at the same age.

I want to prescribe to you a book! Courage by Osho. It's been a huge boost of confidence for me besides all the amazingly deep wisdoms Osho has to offer in this one. Btw I'm 25, but truly we are all as old as the universe  

[apr123]

Do you by any chance have any eye issues, blurriness in either eye, or have noticed eye movements being slow or any droopiness? Any jaw issues or anything you wear for the teeth or conditions like tmj?  What is your lifestyle like in terms of what you do day to day? Do you engage in any addictive activities or deliberately doing things that you believe are wrong/harmful? Did you notice anything or any triggers when you first noticed it? Did you practice eg eye contact exercises extensively?

[Athemnajar]

Hey @Santiago , I can totally relate. I am suffering from OCD since I was 10. To mention , It started when my mother died and I had not cried since she died. I was very acute in class since then, but lack of maturity that time didn't allow me to articulate the issue that time. By I am 20 , I was feeling very bad , I saw a psychiatrist and it's been a long journey since then. Some improvements but psychiatrists and psychologists truly help a lot. Anyway, I saw a good psychiatrist last week, she said I am carrying emotional baggage of my mother's death and I need to cry it out to heal the wound. I am at that stage. The difference it made in last 4 years is that I am now more aware of my symptoms and disease then before and I can do much better to heal than before. 

 

By the way, You just articulated my issue in a whole new better way that I couldn't have done on myself about peripheral vision and stuff. Thanks.

Hope I could meet you.

Pardon I am very conscious about everything. 

Edited April 20, 2019 by Athemnajar
Edit the name

[apr123]

Or (following from my above post) any activities you do/appliances you use/wear for yourself (esp. anything affecting head) that are uncommon/unnatural? Or pushing yourself to anxiety doing anything weird (e.g. certain 'exercises')? ((any eye problems like mentioned above may need checkup even if unlikely to be the problem))

Edited June 10, 2019 by apr123

[apr123]

Maybe wearing mouthguard (or similar appliances) inconsistently could possibly manifest as tmj issues (which are linked to eyes, eyelids etc). (on patientslikeme website if u make account and forum search 'Astigmatism pulling sensation' I wrote more on this- account apraprapr16). 

Edited June 15, 2019 by apr123

[apr123]

I have done some research on the tmj side of things: 
in brief, in cases there may be an underlying physical condition like temporomandibular joint dysfunction (eg. due to stuff constantly affecting teeth/bite/jaw position, maybe inconsistent mouthguard use (which may or may not be compounded by teeth grinding, or perhaps cause teeth grinding?)?) affecting the face/eyes:

https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/4b12/c46c8b9c5681cefa48b47543f744a5f72d75.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5045971/

"the study, based mostly on peer-reviewed specialist articles..has determined that..dental occlusion/tmj status...exerts an influence on..gaze stability" many other studies also link tmj and gaze stability (eg PMID: 20922171)
I also had symptoms like a resistance, stuck, or jumpy feeling when moving eyes and droopy eyelids (which was asymmetric in my case- slightly blurrier eye got droopy which suggests this interacts with vision, also suggested by study below; call this the 'tmj headache'; neuro/ophthalmology problems were ruled out by physicians) including in social settings.
Another study: "nervous systems and functional pathways strictly connect vision and dental occlusion"- this may explain why my 'tmj headache' was altered by cyl+sph glasses turning into a headache in the jaw.
My symptom onset coincided (with a few months delay) with me switching to wearing orthodontic retainers (invisalign mouthguard that changes jaw position/bite) every other night (switching from every night). I have currently gone back to wearing them every night and may consider using them only occasionally in future (although the orthodontist said maybe not if you're grinding teeth but again not sure if my teeth grinding started because of inconsistent mouthguard use (where mouthguard would be the cause, and would persuade me to change frequency to every night/more or go off them for occasional use) or was independent).

Edited August 8, 2019 by apr123

[apr123]

I have also noticed my jaw may be small and asymmetrical (right side is smaller and more set-in) which may have been a predisposing factor to developing TMD when I started to wear the retainers inconsistently (maybe regular changes to the bite/ jaw position). I cannot see any other difference between me and other retainer-wearers to explain why I developed these unique symptoms. While psychotherapy is effective for OCD/anxiety, there may be physical causes particularly if other symptoms are noticed as mentioned above (eg resistance feeling on moving eyes, eyelid drooping) and to be considered if symptoms persist.

Edited June 22, 2020 by apr123
newer observations

[Jasmynxrose]

I know this is old, but I'm going through the same exact thing and it's become so stressful. If you want, can we pls talk privately? Thanks. 

[Modernity]

@Jasmynxrose @Santiago @apr123@Athemnajar I also have this Peripheral thing have you joined the discord server or the reddit group?

[Raze]

Try when therapy doesn’t work by Shelly young and NLP for OCD

[Hojo]

Too worried about what other people are thinking. When you talk to someone dead stare at them and don't blink as dominance. If they don't like it who cares that means you dominated them with your eyes. You are making up that they don't like it and also making up that they are shielding their face from you when you side eye them.

If you dead stare at someone and don't look away and they get upset thats karma for them not you. It has nothing to do with you. If you start micromanage eye movement you will generate tonnes of karma.

Your body is yours don't move it for other people.

Edited 13 hours ago by Hojo