How To Increase The Capacity To Love?

[Torkys]

I am starting to understand the significance of consciousness work in direct experience and because of that, I watched Leo's video about low vs high consciousness. Here I heard that one way to create high quality consciousness is to increase the capacity to love and give, but I don't really feel like giving.

In the past month, I really wanted to improve myself to do the point of not giving much knowledge away. I noticed this when I watched Leo's video about the devil, after that, I defined myself as "the devil abusing Truth for my survival". Yesterday I literally found a note in my past insight that read "For what can you use Truth?... to use it for your own needs.".

My question is: Do you know any ways to break out of this? How can giving come naturally?

(Even this I do for my agenda and my development... Fck)

[Nahm]

Love

[Torkys]

@Nahm, but how?

[Nahm]

You’re an asshole

[Nahm]

Thanks. I love you too. ❤️

Easier than you thought I bet. 

[cetus]

@Torkys

2 hours ago, Torkys said:

My question is: Do you know any ways to break out of this? How can giving come naturally?

Reading your post it reminded me of a book I read years ago 'Love is letting go of Fear'.

I found this. Maybe it will help answer some of the questions you have.

 

[ajasatya]

3 hours ago, Torkys said:

How To Increase The Capacity To Love?

taking good care of your physical/mental/emotional health.

exercise, meditate and forgive.

[Torkys]

@cetus56 Thanks for the video! I've got some answers to my questions.

@ajasatya As my consciousness increases, it really starts to become a concern to improve these things. If this will transform me, then it will be more effortless (but not striving for effortlessness per se). Thank for mentioning it!

@Shiva

1 hour ago, Shiva said:

Everybody is just doing whatever they're doing because that's what they think is gonna make them happy.

Thank you! I was recently contemplating about how we make choices and how desire-driven we are. I haven't asked the question: "Why do we desire the things we desire?". Will definitely contemplate this question soon.

[Joseph Maynor]

Counter-intuitively, the more the ego is broken-down the more you will love in an authentic way that might be outside of any preconceptions of love that you or anyone else has.  We need to make sure we separate authentic love from mental conceptions of love.  One is true and the other is false.  Authentic love just authentically flows-out without being forced or being guided by any rules.  Unfortunately, we have a lot of conceptions of what love is that the ego will try to wrap its claws around.  But that’s just mind.  Your authentic love will transcend mind, so be prepared for it to manifest in ways that you did not expect.  You gotta just let go and let the authentic self unfold on its own terms — outside of the rules and expectations of the mind.  You will discover your authentic love if you do this properly.  Beware of the mind commenting on what love is or is not!  That’s a trap when dealing with love.  You don’t wanna get stuck on rules or preconceptions.  Just be and observe.  Don’t force or try to control anything.  That’s just gonna re-enforce the ego and build a nasty ego-shadow in its wake.  Let the unique fingerprint of your love come into being without any sort of attempt to control it.  Just watch it, be aware of it, be mindful of it — don’t judge it or manipulate it.  The ego and the mind are gonna hate this, which is why you gotta numb down the ego for true love to start to flower out in you.  

Edited October 9, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Emerald]

10 hours ago, Torkys said:

I am starting to understand the significance of consciousness work in direct experience and because of that, I watched Leo's video about low vs high consciousness. Here I heard that one way to create high quality consciousness is to increase the capacity to love and give, but I don't really feel like giving.

In the past month, I really wanted to improve myself to do the point of not giving much knowledge away. I noticed this when I watched Leo's video about the devil, after that, I defined myself as "the devil abusing Truth for my survival". Yesterday I literally found a note in my past insight that read "For what can you use Truth?... to use it for your own needs.".

My question is: Do you know any ways to break out of this? How can giving come naturally?

(Even this I do for my agenda and my development... Fck)

There are already desires in you that are pure and stem from love. You never lose your innocence. It simply gets distorted through many lenses as you move through life and experience traumas and develop a worldview. But the source of the light of innocence always remains the same and the substance of which is love. With deeper awareness, you will see that all of your desires stem from love at their core, even if they have taken thousands of detours that make it seem to be motivated by something else. Even the most nefarious of desires stem from love at their core. It's just in our ignorance that our actions become so complex that we forget why we're doing them in the first place. So, my advice is to do these things: 1. Continue to do consciousness work so that you notice more and more about your personal motivations. 2. Express to God/Source/Universe you inability to love purely and ask it to show you how to love again and to help you get back in touch with your innocence.

Also, continue to act in loving ways, even if you aren't truly capable of experiencing un-distorted loving action yet. Do your best but maintain awareness that you still have ulterior motives. Also, realize that love is completely equalizing. So, if you feel like you should exclude yourself from receiving this love, then it is simply ego making you an exception and setting you apart from everything else. Unconditional love is truly that. It's 100% unconditional.

But also be aware that the human motivational system works through desire for positive emotions and aversion to negative emotions. So, even someone who is motivated by love in a pure and un-distorted way, still experiences this system of motivation.

[pluto]

Nahm said it best: Love, its that simple.

Give, Share, Be Kind, Be Grateful, Appreciate, Listen, Learn and especially all without expecting anything in return = True Expression of Love

and Love = Growth and Expansion in All directions

What you give/send out, you will receive, one way or another. - Simple Universal Function

Edited October 10, 2017 by pluto

[Erlend K]

If you start using some will power ob making yourself act in a more loving way, the neural pathways for this behaviour will be strenghtened, and over time loving behaviour will come more natural for you. At the same time, you can train yourself to see people in a better light by training  yourself to look for the good/what you like in others and try to really like them. Its a slow process, tho. Also anything that boosts your serotenine levels or improves your vagus nerve, including metta meditation, will make it easier to spontaniously get loving feelings towards others. 

[Torkys]

@Joseph Maynor Authenticity has become one of my highest values in my life in the recent weeks. I will continue and observe.

@Emerald I am contemplating decision making and I found that people always act out of their desires. If I can get to the bottom of motivation - which is supposedly happiness or love - then I will become conscious of it. Also, I am discovering my life purpose mainly through hypnosis and it starts to become clear that it is about giving advice and showing the Way.

 

[Torkys]

Erlend K, most likely it's my ego's defense mechanism, but I don't like fake it till you make it approaches in personal development - at least not physically. Maybe visualizations will do, but still - it's not authentic. Will research other stuff you talked about though, I will do a loving kindness hypnosis on this evening too.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Torkys said:

I am contemplating decision making and I found that people always act out of their desires. If I can get to the bottom of motivation - which is supposedly happiness or love - then I will become conscious of it. Also, I am discovering my life purpose mainly through hypnosis and it starts to become clear that it is about giving advice and showing the Way.

That would be one way to become more conscious of the core of your desires. But in general, extreme degrees of self-honesty will help you see most things that you'd normally unconsciously edit out of your experience. But the tendency to edit your experience comes mostly from the perceived need to protect your ego structure. So, the most effective way to become conscious of your deepest motivations is to transcend or dissolve the ego structure, so that you realize that there is nothing there to actually protect. Only then will self-deception become obsolete. You will recognize that there is nothing left to fear in your internal experience. Until then, the best you can do is to be as honest with yourself as you possibly can and to be able to look directly at the most unflattering and threatening aspects of yourself without judgment or distortion. The hypnosis should help a lot with that. Best of luck with your life purpose.

[Nahm]

I feel like we could talk forever about love given it’s infinite nature. We could invent new ways to love I bet. Love & enlightenment go hand in hand, as both are already true and within. I love you guys. ? 

[Nexeternity]

Try putting yourself in someone elses perspective.  That always helps.

Remember times when youve been loved or felt loved and how great it felt.  Realize you can be that source for others as well.

Realize that loving others and being unselfish is tecnically the more "selfish" way to behave.  You will be much happier that way because you will cultivate your conection to your environment and your energy will flow better, you wont feel as blocked by a sense of seperation.  

Be careful with forcing yourself too much because being loving to recieve something in return can be smelled by others and it comes out as inauthentic.  You could say that would be manipulation, not love.

Keep doing enlightenment work, meditation, self inquiry.  As your sense of identity starts breaking down you will just be able to act more naturally and authentically and it wont matter what outer actions you take, your conection to Being will do most of the heavy lifting in the love department.

Treat yourself nicely, try to keep your self talk as if you were talking to a little kid, soft, accepting, understanding.  The way you treat yourself will start showing in the way you treat others.  

[phoenix666]

I started being more loving and giving to others naturally as I started being more loving and giving towards myself. watch your self talk: is it harsh? is it judgmental? does it come from guilt? 

be kind to yourself and automatically you will be more loving with everyone else as well. if you've spent a lot of years hating, bullying and shaming yourself (like me), being nice and loving with yourself will feel forced and inauthentic. just go through that initial phase, your inner innocence has to learn how to trust you again. soon it will feel authentic again.

you can check out Matt Kahn's videos about the love revolution, self acceptance ecc. on youtube, they've helped me a lot. it really works. good luck <3