Spiritually Vulnarable And Afraid Of Meditation

[Jacobsen]

In recent time i experience a "deepining" in my meditation practice. I experience a wierd change, sometimes accompinied by "visions" like "psycedelic waves" or people i know walking around without eyes in their sockets (as if hollow). When i finish i feel this "uncertainty". I would stare at myself in the mirror questioning who i am. This experience is a bit unsettling and now i feel fear a around meditation. I dont want to fully "enter" into the meditation while i am meditating in fear of "evil entities", as if "entering deeply" will expose me to threats i cant see or control and stop.

I feel spiritually vulnerable. Im afraid of the uknown. Its like my sense of security and knowing are balloons i hold unto but instead of me "losing" them, they lose "me". I am the one flying of and im grasping thoughts like their branches on "my way up" to halt this.

[cirkussmile]

Of course you are scared. If you dive deep into the unknown that means you will eventually die and you don't want that. 

But don't be scared. The unknown is your true identity and that is what you are looking for. Why it's scary is because this is something completely outside of what you are used to. This is so different from all the things you claim to know. 

Let go. Surrender. You can only open your heart for it and one day it will get you. But it's out of your control so you can't do anything for it to happen. Continue practice and stay conscious at any given moment.

 

<3

[Jacobsen]

Thank you @Circussmile. 

[Joseph Maynor]

12 hours ago, Jacobsen said:

In recent time i experience a "deepining" in my meditation practice. I experience a wierd change, sometimes accompinied by "visions" like "psycedelic waves" or people i know walking around without eyes in their sockets (as if hollow). When i finish i feel this "uncertainty". I would stare at myself in the mirror questioning who i am. This experience is a bit unsettling and now i feel fear a around meditation. I dont want to fully "enter" into the meditation while i am meditating in fear of "evil entities", as if "entering deeply" will expose me to threats i cant see or control and stop.

I feel spiritually vulnerable. Im afraid of the uknown. Its like my sense of security and knowing are balloons i hold unto but instead of me "losing" them, they lose "me". I am the one flying of and im grasping thoughts like their branches on "my way up" to halt this.

If you feed the mind fear it’s gonna riff off that.  You need to figure out a way to dial down your fear.  The mind is pretty stupid, it almost always riffs off what it is directly exposed to.  Fear is tied to threat to ego.  So, figure out how the ego is being threatened by what you are doing.  You need to start getting into enlightenment work to numb down that ego, or else it’s gonna continue to cause you a lot of neuroses.  The ego doesn’t like enlightenment work or meditation.  It will fuck with you.  You have to realize that this is part and parcel of the ego death aims of this work. You’re gonna be exposed to emotionally painful experiences along this path.  But all in all your general happiness level steadily increases, so those are all temporary.  Ride it out!

Leo did a video on this topic: Watch:

 

Edited October 9, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Nahm]

@Jacobsen God fearing men are a dime a dozen. What you’re doing is rare & brave. Let thoughts go. Focus on your breathing. Eventually the thoughts stop and you are being. You’re going to transcend the thinking Jacobson. You are the One.  Question everything! 

[Jacobsen]

Thank you @Nahm and @Joseph Maynor. Profound advice. I feel inspirered.