What's The Point Of Pickup If You'll Find Someone Special One Day?

[Hardkill]

Even many regular people my parents who have been happily married never met from pickup. So what's the point of pickup, especially when it has failed for most men?

[Spiral]

To develop your social skills, get you out of your comfort zone and improving confidence? You can also find someone via pickup. Now don't get me wrong I don't do pickup but it's has some benefits.

If by fail you mean they don't "get the girl"on the first try than yes, most guys fail. It's consistently and awareness of which girl to talk to that'll get you somewhere. Now might you need to try 50 times? Perhaps.You also shouldn't take it personally most girls don't like most guys. Unlike most guys who like most girls.

After watching the I have to admit I meant like an hour or two per week not all the time every day. That would just be neurotic and a waste of time, not to mention incredibly unattractive.

Edited October 7, 2017 by Spiral

[Hardkill]

Yeah, but how does getting rejected most of the time completely beneficial for your confidence?

[SFRL]

53 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Yeah, but how does getting rejected most of the time completely beneficial for your confidence?

Rejection shouldn't be that big of a deal. Most of the time it isn't for me, it's actually quite funny. You should get to the point where you can just laugh at you being rejected. 

Also it doesn't matter who you are, rejection is just a part of life. Everyone gets/got rejected at some point. 

[Hardkill]

Well, I've done about 1,000 of approaches and I rarely see it as being anything, but funny. It's like I have a voice in the back of my head that says, "Look man, u've already failed over a thousand times with women. This isn't for you. I know that pickup isn't rocket science, but not everyone has talent for this just like not everyone has a talent for singing or being athletic at a certain sport. It's sad, but hopefully u'll learn to live with it someday." I've gotten kicked out of a university that I was in grad school for, permanently kicked out of a gym that I was a member of, kicked out of a mall, kicked out of a bar, kicked out of a club. I am hurting inside. Society is as fucked up as I am.

Edited October 8, 2017 by Hardkill

[Canadian]

First of all, there is not such thing as ''special one.'' There is not a person who was born for you, or for me or etc. There are no specials. Everyone is different. Pickup is a good way to learn the psychology of the opposite sex. It helps you become master of relationships, that's when you realize that there are no special people. The relationship goes well or not. If you don't like it, you just move on, never create an idea that there is someone in your life who was born for you. It's a huge trap. Go out for pickup and you'll see thousands of perfect options for you...

[aurum]

4 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Well, I've done about 1,000 of approaches and I rarely see it as being anything, but funny. It's like I have a voice in the back of my head that says, "Look man, u've already failed over a thousand times with women. This isn't for you. I know that pickup isn't rocket science, but not everyone has talent for this just like not everyone has a talent for singing or being athletic at a certain sport. It's sad, but hopefully u'll learn to live with it someday."

That's the exact voice you can't afford to listen to. Ego trying to hold you in stagnation.

4 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I've gotten kicked out of a university that I was in grad school for, permanently kicked out of a gym that I was a member of, kicked out of a mall, kicked out of a bar, kicked out of a club. I am hurting inside. Society is as fucked up as I am.

If this all happen purely because of pickup you have to switch up your strategy big time. What do your approaches usually look like?

[Hafiz]

"You'll find someone special one day"

What if you find them the day before you die?

 

[Hardkill]

14 hours ago, aurum said:

That's the exact voice you can't afford to listen to. Ego trying to hold you in stagnation.

If this all happen purely because of pickup you have to switch up your strategy big time. What do your approaches usually look like?

I know, but I am struggle to manage these demons. How can I when the evidence has proven that I am a failure at pickup?

my approaches have been varied since I've tried so many things. Sometimes I wait for the girl look at me and smile before I walk up to her. Other times I cold approach her without her noticing me first. It's so hard to explain everything and I don't have enough time to explain each kind of approach I do with each girl.

 

 

[Girzo]

If you have no success at pick up then stop it and start developing yourself in other areas in life. Positive effects of that development will overflow onto the pick up practice as time goes by. You have my word for it.

[vizual]

"Pick up" seems like such a waste of time to me. I mean, if you are desperately looking for sex, you may as well dish out some cash and pay a professional(if you know what i mean ;)). At least you will be certain she will know what she is doing under the sheets. And there are a lot of "hot" sex workers, surely some that will be to your liking.

But if you are looking for a deeper relationship. Why not go to places of your interest? Like going to places you enjoy, places where you enjoy talking to people regardless if you could potentially stick your sausage in them or not. And if you meet someone great, and if you don't meet someone, that's great also. Because you were there because you liked being there.

And I am going to hint that maybe girls will actually find you more attractive if she sees you are having fun and not being so needy to get in their pants. Well, the quality women anyway.

[Hardkill]

I've tried social meetups and they never worked. I already have positive things going in my life. I am going for my 3rd degree black belt in Hapkido, I worked up to squatting 360 lbs. below parallel, deadlifting 480 lbs., benching almost 275 lbs. I can run a mile in 6:30 min. and can run 6-8 miles at a 7:30 min./mile. I just starting training for half marathon and marathons 2 months ago. I am going to grad school for teaching. Also, I don't mean to sound arrogant, but many people throughout my life have told me that I look like a model. None of it helped me enough to be successful with women.

Also, I have no talent for creating large social circles.

So after trying almost everything possible, what proof is there that I have any REAL genetic latent ability for success with women?

[Guest username]

@Hardkill It's really hard to comment without a lot of detail. 

Attraction is hard, but if you're in shape and naturally good-looking, it will certainly be easier for you than most guys, including me. Still, I've managed to improve dramatically. I lack the results I've really wanted, but I also haven't put in that much time, honestly. The fact that you can improve is the take-away, though.

One thing I can notice immediately is that you lack the proper psychology for this.

You seem to be taking rejection personally and letting your ego get wounded. You need to learn to stop that. Rejection shouldn't phase you. Sure, it can be a little anxiety provoking. I've done over 1,000 approaches as well and still have mad approach anxiety, but I'm much better than I used to be at dealing with rejection. I don't dwell on it; I can just learn, let go, and move on.  

In the long run, rejection should build confidence because you prove to yourself that you are capable of taking action, surviving the trials and tribulations of getting better, and learning from your mistakes.

 

How is your social life in general? It's hard to be good with girls unless you are good with people in general. 

Edited October 9, 2017 by username

[Hardkill]

Username, can we talk on PM about this?

[Buba]

Hi Hardkill, I can relate to what you are talking about. I am also not successful with women although I have tried hard approaching girls outside, hitting on them at various places and texting them on internet (dating apps and etc). I am not that handsome I think, although some women have told me they found me attractive. Because of failures I stopped approaching girls, however I still try my chance on dating web sites or apps. Before, I was thinking that, the only reason I dont have a girlfriend for a long time is lacking courage. But now I see my pick up line is very lame. I have a lot of friends and I am interesting guys. But when I like a girl I dont know what to say and how to hold a conversation with her. I become boring and even weird.

Can I ask you where you are from. Because I am from a conservative country and it makes the situation even more difficult.

[SFRL]

@Hardkill PM me if you like. 

[Hardkill]

On 10/11/2017 at 0:52 AM, Buba said:

Hi Hardkill, I can relate to what you are talking about. I am also not successful with women although I have tried hard approaching girls outside, hitting on them at various places and texting them on internet (dating apps and etc). I am not that handsome I think, although some women have told me they found me attractive. Because of failures I stopped approaching girls, however I still try my chance on dating web sites or apps. Before, I was thinking that, the only reason I dont have a girlfriend for a long time is lacking courage. But now I see my pick up line is very lame. I have a lot of friends and I am interesting guys. But when I like a girl I dont know what to say and how to hold a conversation with her. I become boring and even weird.

Can I ask you where you are from. Because I am from a conservative country and it makes the situation even more difficult.

I am from Los Angeles, California, US.

[Zephyr]

On 10/8/2017 at 7:56 AM, Hardkill said:

Yeah, but how does getting rejected most of the time completely beneficial for your confidence?

Hell yes. Rejection separates people who are not meant for each other.

I'd rather get a "Hell Yes!" or a "Hell NO!" than a "meh, ok"

Maybe you'll go to through hundreds of rejections from hundreds of different girls just to find that one girl who'll you'll like and also will like you still it'd be worth it

[supremeyingyang]

On ‎10‎/‎7‎/‎2017 at 6:58 AM, Hardkill said:

Even many regular people my parents who have been happily married never met from pickup. So what's the point of pickup, especially when it has failed for most 

This is why it 'failed for most': This isn't a quickfix, but a hard field of study and work. When you develope to a higher stage, like orange or even green, you game organically. See Tyler RSD on youtube and you'll get 'enlightenment'.

But like Style said: Everything is Pickup.

But true, like leo stressed, the PUA where very misguided at the beginning. Reading the game is the most time about to know how not to do it.

 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2017 by supremeyingyang