Staying Present With Intense Physical Pain

[MiracleMan]

I've had a chronic pain syndrome for the last couple of years, and I had a good run of relief for a while but lately the pain has intensified again.  My pain is dead center of my lower back in the spine, I get shooting pains and muscle spasms in my legs 24 hours a day much like sciatica.  I'm pretty young, 31, and the doctors have done about as much as they can do because they don't see anything on MRI or CT scans except for a slightly bulging disc that doesn't necessarily prove the cause of pain.

So I'm trying to become more present and not focus on the pain I'm experiencing, it's been pretty hard.  If my attention is focused elsewhere the pain is greatly diminished but it soon returns with intensity after any activity.  I think this is a mind-body process, sometimes the pain appears in other parts of the body but never all at once, so it's like inflammation starts in the lower back and swelling causes the spasms and pain in the legs, when it isn't in the lower back it will be in my hands arms and wrists and feels much like carpal tunnel syndrome, when it isn't present there it's usually in the form of gastrointestinal pain, and when it's not in that location it's usually in my head in the form of disturbing, depressing, and angry thoughts.  I watch this stuff come and go, and try my best to recognize that this isn't "me" in totality and that none of it belongs to "me".

But it still just fucking hurts lol.  I sort of recognize the pain as just PAIN and not back pain, leg pain, stomach pain, this, that.  Is the pain here to teach me something, is this a part of karma, have all my karmic debts caught up with me?  For the past few years I've been asking how much of this must I endure before I learn my lesson?  What has to be done to be rid of the pain?

I've listened to Kahn, and Tolle talk about pain.  I've haven't had a pain killer in over a year, and I don't plan on going back to pain killers because they don't cure the pain and in fact made my pain worse and myself more dependant on the medication.  

Is the pain evidence of an overbearing ego, something that is so afraid and anxious, wants to control all outcomes, wants to feel superior?  Should I recognize that pain is but a parasite, something that genuinely isn't me?  Is it really "my" pain? 

[LaucherJunge]

I won't pretend as if i can relate to this, I had tons of emotional pain but not that much of the physical nature. I can only tell you what i would try to do in this situation, what you resist persists, I would be fully present with the pain and be begging it to give me even more of it, you literally can talk to it if you just imagine that, learn to love it, see the beauty of it, think of people who can't feel anything at all and harm themselves to atleast feel something. Literally start a romance with your pain.
That is all the things i would atleast try to do, I did similar things with emotional pain and it worked but true salvation from it came with using the completion process by Teal Swan, but this is not a trauma so it can't work.

[dorg]

Sorry to hear of your situation @MiracleMan .

8 hours ago, MiracleMan said:

I watch this stuff come and go, and try my best to recognize that this isn't "me" in totality and that none of it belongs to "me".

This shows that you recognise that you are simply aware of experience as it happens, ie, not actually experiencing experience. Do you apprehend the difference? Is it that experience as it happens is real/actual, but that the act of experiencing it is the act of not just watching it, as you stated, but the act of being someone, something thought-to-be or believed-to-be experiencing it? Do you see the difference?

I am talking of subtle distinction here that may well need some contemplation to more fully apprehend.

Edited October 5, 2017 by dorg

[RichardY]

Yeah can't personally really relate much to intense pain. Maybe answering the question. Who are you baring the Pain for, might help and Why? I've noticed that when I've cut my leg on a thorn and not noticed, I've felt no pain (clean cut). But seeing the wound provides a simulated pain and throbbing. 

 

FOLLOWING VIDEO IS PRETTY GRAPHIC.

 

 

[Nahm]

@MiracleMan I had the exact same situation. Have you tried daily back exercises and adjusting diet? (Sugar enflames muscles, carbonated beverages weaken muscles)   We're all different of course, but after years of pain mine is 100% gone from those two things. Pursuing the mind can of course help too, but a physical plan might be easier and the path of least resistance.  I was told to do these exercises years prior, but I wrote it off as too simple of a solution. Then one day I got a massage and the therapist explained to me that I was working out all of my body except my lower back, and that was why it was weak / hurting. That time it clicked, I started doing this every morning, and the pain was completely gone within around 2 weeks. Hope this helps! It sucks man, I know. Also, maintaining correct posture is key.  The specific exercise that worked for me was on my hands and knees and lifting each leg up in the air for a few seconds each. 

 

Edited October 5, 2017 by Nahm

[Leo Gura]

@MiracleMan Sometimes pain is just pain and requires a medical treatment.

Not everything is a sign from God.

Don't underestimate how many possible medical/alternative/physical solutions there could be. Make sure you thoroughly research and explore all the options. Most Western doctors are fools, so def don't just trust them.

[Natasha]

@MiracleMan Pain is mostly caused by inflamation in the body. Try full body detox and clean up your diet off foods that cause inflamation - red meat, gluten, sugar, processed foods, etc. Just these 2 things will help with pain considerably. Also, curcumin is one of the best anti-inflammatory supplements as well as Wobensym N. I have low back issues sometimes and Curcumin (Terry Naturally brand, 750 mg of CureMed) knocks it right off.

[Edvard]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Sometimes pain is just pain and requires a medical treatment.

That's not what you told me? I said that I would like to enjoy physical pain, but that hurting is just still hurting, and you replied, quote: "It will stop "hurting" when you become more conscious. "Hurting" is a projection of the ego-mind."

Is that still true, or are you saying that pain requires medical treatment only for unconscious, egoic people?

[MiracleMan]

@Nahm when I was lifting weights and doing barbell squats every other day I felt much better, I'm going to start again soon.  I've been doing hot yoga as well but after the last few sessions my pain increased.

This is also a stress/anxiety thing I'm sure of it, the inflammation increases when I'm stressed out, a lot of it I'm not totally aware of and it's an automatic process, I've been meditating more often to get some insight on this, I want to do a retreat but I really want some spiritual guidance, I really feel like I'm lost at sea here.  I know most of this journey is DIY and everyone's experience is unique, but the loneliness is taking a toll on me.  

@Leo Gura I've ran the medical gauntlet.  I've had MRIs, CT scans, multiple epidural spinal injections, nerve blocks, countless hours of physical therapy, chiropractic treatment, accupuncture, dieting, you name it I've tried it.  The reason I'm here right now on the spiritual path is because I've ran that gauntlet and in such desperation I turned to spirituality after having a realization that this pain wasn't caused by a physical event, but from the mind.  I've been in the pits of addiction and depression for many years now and maybe that plays a part, I am in recovery but it's a bit half assed.  My entire life has been planned around isolation and feeding myself whatever I damn well want.  So now I'm trying very hard to come back into balance.

That being said, I'm still making it to work on time everyday, I'm paying my bills, to me that's a miracle, and there were several times in the past year I really thought I was going to lose my job because of my condition, the pain, the addiction, the depression.  I've dug my roots in deep in my life here, I've made financial commitments to society that I just can't walk away from to inquire the source of this pain.  If I could just drop everything I'd be occupying my time in a monk like fashion, not because I crave enlightenment but because this pain has some sort of resolution waiting for it, I'm done negotiating with it but it still frightens me.  But I've got to keep pushing on with it, the inquiry and the breath work, and recovery most of all.  The pain was diminished for about 6 to 8 months, still there but in the past two weeks I've been literally ambushed by it full force, it's come back full force, with no mechanism I can find for it's return, I did nothing "wrong" it's just come back like an unwanted guest.  I've had my insights through my practice, maybe brief small glimpses, maybe the pain is an ego holding on for dear life, maybe some call it a kundalini awakening, but here again I could try to analyze and come up with a million spiritual reasons why the pain is here, but I'm done telling myself stories and fairy tales about why it's here, the why doesn't seem important anymore.

@Natasha Dieting may help with reducing the inflammation, but it's not the cause of it in my experience thus far.  I've gone carb free, gluten free, sugar free, and back again in moderation, gone from 150 lbs to 125lbs, no changes in the levels of pain or swelling.  

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

I'm having a similar thing with my body at the moment but maybe not as intense. It's kind of like sciatica but it's not in the nerves. If your gluteal muscles are inflamed it can mimic sciatica.

Maybe you could try to exercise the gluteal muscles or maybe massaging them with a tennis ball?  

 

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Edvard said:

That's not what you told me? I said that I would like to enjoy physical pain, but that hurting is just still hurting, and you replied, quote: "It will stop "hurting" when you become more conscious. "Hurting" is a projection of the ego-mind."

Is that still true, or are you saying that pain requires medical treatment only for unconscious, egoic people?

I tell people different things, depending on context and what they need to hear.

Both are true. You can eliminate pain through consciousness, you can eliminate pain through physical means. You need to use good judgement as to when to apply which. You wouldn't want to use consciousness to suppress the pain of an infection, for example. That pain is there to keep you alive, like the "Check Engine" light in your car.

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

@MiracleMan How is the pain now?

Edited March 3, 2018 by Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj