Do We Really Need To Socialize?

[Electron]

I have been asocial most of my life, and I personally think that socialization is just a kind of indulgence in the process of true learning. Even though its not the consensus, but I don't think that any month or day or hour should be spend not learning. I feel weird sensations in my body when I am out with people who talk gibberish just for the sake of it. The judgements and labels of others about others are also done in our field of awareness, and I remember the times when I unconsciously used to identify with those prejudices, as if they were mine. I've tried to look at it from every perspective known to me and not yet find a thing of value in socializing and hanging out with the so called friends and such. Its alright I think to spend time with people who can give us something of value, from who we learn something but do we really need to get our minds involved in learning random stuff which hardly helps us grow and hinders us from the big picture by continuously keeping us involved in these fiddling little things?

[Toasty]

You've made good point here. I've always had the belief that the more social you are the happier you are. During my breaks at work i used to walk around the building listening to podcasts. "How stuff works" etc. Recently I've been walking with random people but i don't feel like im getting as much value as listening to podcasts.  I'm wondering in order to be happy do we have to always be learning?  What do you do for fun?

[Isle of View]

@Sigma, Sounds like you transcended the mainstream.

The hardest task may be to forgive them that they'll confuse transcendence with outsiderness.

There is absolutly nothing wrong with the choice not to engage in closed-mindedness.

What helps is understanding and appreciation of the fact, that all people are somewhere on the spiritual development curve. All have the same capacity to be more than meets the eye. But some don't know anymore how to move up again, some even forgot that there actually is UP. But the capacity remains the same. It can be fun to help them rekindle their inner spark.

And socialize with like-minded people. There are more and more popping up at this time. 

 

Chris

Edited February 22, 2016 by Isle of View

[Electron]

@Toasty In a way we are always learning whether we label it as learning or not. Even if you play video games, you are learning how to play better. I just thing its better to learn things of value. For fun I go out for walks, watch documentaries, use this forum, and read books.

[Mad Cat]

I would say yes, yes, yes people need to socialize! Even when your primary concern in life is learning and growth, without social interaction you are limited to one narrow perspective on the world which stifles your growth potential. Even using this forum is a form of socializing, what is your motivation to interact here? Also it is worth pointing out that there is more to learn in life than intellectual knowledge- feelings strongly effect human behavior whether you acknowledge them or not, and therefore personal growth is also tied to learning healthier ways to process your feelings. This is something you can practice with anybody, even superficial people who never speak of matters with any intellectual meaning. So there is something to learn about yourself, your humanity, from everybody! I'm not saying that you should put heavy focus on people you don't have any common interests with, just that you shouldn't dismiss them as irrelevant and not worth socializing with at all, because our shared human experience gives us a basic common ground with everyone.

Edited February 22, 2016 by Mad Cat

[Toasty]

@Sigma self help books or any books. I'm thinking of reading the divergence trilogy but now I'm wondering if ill get any value out of that.  I would describe my English as poor so atleast any reading will help with that. 

[Electron]

@Toasty Mostly self-help

@Mad Cat Well ofcourse socialization is healthy, its just not in my view important, Also the whole concept of ego in a way revolves around socialising, ego wants to matter, matter among others. Thats what most of the socialization is based upon, so that the ego can feel safe , so that it can feel special. That is also the motivation behind my social interactions I suppose.

Apart from that, being alone I think is highly underrated. I find myself growing spiritually and emotionally. I am getting better at math. Also, I don't regard myself as alone, I have the universe

Edited February 22, 2016 by Sigma

[Guest]

I dislike socializing. I do it not longer than necessary. Mostly with my cousin or brother, because I feel good with them, and also they are my family. Other than that, I mostly socialize only when it's with a chick...and she is spreading her legs for me. That's also worth it. But anything else...no thanks, I rather stay alone. I love being a lone wolf, I love solitude. In social situations I am uncomfortable, I feel like I waste my time with stupid shit and people who offer me nothing. I'd rather learn, meditate, work out, walk in nature, listen to music, do personal development, read books and whatever. You cannot force me to socialize. Sue me  

[Mad Cat]

@Sigma Wait, what? I don't understand how you got that conclusion out of what I said. I was trying to convey that socializing is necessary for learning about yourself and the world from other perspectives you would not see otherwise. That even superficial people can unintentionally reflect human qualities of astonishing depth if you don't write them off. Sure, time spent reflecting alone is also critical, I never meant to devalue that. I was just point out that it appears that you are underrating social interaction as a mere ego game. On some level it is that, but there is more depth if you look for it.

[Mad Cat]

2 minutes ago, The Alchemist said:

I dislike socializing. I do it not longer than necessary. Mostly with my cousin or brother, because I feel good with them, and also they are my family. Other than that, I mostly socialize only when it's with a chick...and she is spreading her legs for me. That's also worth it. But anything else...no thanks, I rather stay alone. I love being a lone wolf, I love solitude. In social situations I am uncomfortable, I feel like I waste my time with stupid shit and people who offer me nothing. I'd rather learn, meditate, work out, walk in nature, listen to music, do personal development, read books and whatever. You cannot force me to socialize. Sue me  

I'm not interested in forcing people to do anything... you decide how to live your life. But I can't help but point out the glaring contradiction... You claim to be interested in personal development, yet you severely limit your own growth by clinging to your comfort zone? Progress is needed most in whatever areas of life that make you most uncomfortable.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Mad Cat said:

I'm not interested in forcing people to do anything... you decide how to live your life. But I can't help but point out the glaring contradiction... You claim to be interested in personal development, yet you severely limit your own growth by clinging to your comfort zone? Progress is needed most in whatever areas of life that make you most uncomfortable.

Haha, I tried my best, but I just don't see any use or growth from it. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough, or maybe there is nothing more to get out of it.

[Mad Cat]

4 minutes ago, The Alchemist said:

Haha, I tried my best, but I just don't see any use or growth from it. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough, or maybe there is nothing more to get out of it.

Fair enough, some people truly don't benefit from a large social sphere. However I would argue that there is always, always more to learn from other people, even strangers- if only as mirrors for discovering your own subconscious patterns.

[Toasty]

@The Alchemist sometimes the person you don't want to socialize with will know someone that you will want to social with. I think there i a difference between shallow person and a toxic person. I wouldn't bother with toxic people but some shallow relationships have actually surprised me

[Electron]

@Mad Cat You are right, I might be avoiding it because its hard for me and as an excuse labeling it as trivial. But don't you think that people are OUR perception? and all the emotions that a real time interaction with someone stimulates in us are felt in OUR body by the the virtue of judgements and beliefs we have conditioned in OUR minds. In a way isn't it almost like reading a book. Isn't it also a belief that this is a real person and this is a real interaction? Also these are also mere beliefs but I have a belief that they are right. Again I might be wrong, I just have so much against it, that its hard to get my ass up and socialize.

[Guest]

@Mad Cat @Toasty Ihave been through all the shallow socializing you can imagine, I had enough of it. Now I'm trying to upgrade my peergroup, but the people I'm looking for are rare. I don't bother with the regular "videogame/alcohol/party/tv-show" obsessed people anymore. There is no use, I sucked out all the use a long time ago. Now i want to be by myself, unless I find some really amazing people who bring new experiences into my life.

[Toasty]

@The Alchemist i actually feel the same way.  I wonder if its the activity that needs upgraded and not the people. I've joined toastmasters and it the thing i look forward to the most.  I'm not friends with anybody in there but i just love it.  

[Guest]

@Toasty Yep, the activity and really your attitude and your vibrations. The people will come into your life...it's like the universe will bring them to you. But you only get what reflects yourself. Step your activities and yourself up, and your social circle will improve too. Damn I wanna join the toastmasters too, too bad there is no such thing here.

[Water]

15 minutes ago, The Alchemist said:

The people will come into your life...it's like the universe will bring them to you.

I've got first hand experience of this. A few months ago I was doing nothing but manifesting amazing people in my life. Random conversations with people turned into surprisingly good learning experiences. It was literally like once a week I would meet someone and say "Shit... where they hell did this person come from". Even religious folk, ones that I would have completely ignored in the past. The thing is you got to get out there. Like @Mad Cat  said you have to get out of your comfort zone, take risks don't be afraid to fail.  @Sigma Listen dude I know exactly what you mean. Nothing drives me crazy like mindless small talk, its really difficult to find people to relate to sometimes. but, life is full of surprises 

[Electron]

@Water Well you can say that in this aspect , life hasn't surprised me yet..!!

[Guest]

@Water Listen friend, I have no comfort zone. I don't even know what this word means, my whole life is on the edge. Always in challenge, always in danger. That's how I roll...except now actually, I'm lying on my couch right now, cuddling with my cat, sipping some coffee. But any other day I'm always out of the comfort zone! (except monday-sunday though, that's my couch days)