What To Do About It?

[LaucherJunge]

I recently wrote again to a girl from my past with the mindset of just giving. The thing about her is that she is very rejecting in a way that just makes me more attracted. My mind is totally going crazy about her all the time, I am just desperately waiting for her to write back 1 sentence while i write back whole texts, although I managed to resolve all the pain which I felt about this situation for good, but still my mind is in a totally disturbed state I can't start doing anything and without meditating for multiple hours a day i would probably go mad or something. But the problem is the more rejecting she is the more I am attracted, sure I can just completely stop to communicate with her but i actually want to grow and finally resolve this issue in myself, I always thought it was my emotions driving me to be like that but now I see that they aren't because even without any pain caused at all my mind goes crazy.

[ajasatya]

@LaucherJunge the needier you are, the more "others" will reject you.
this happens because, very intimately, you're already rejecting yourself.

[LaucherJunge]

19 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@LaucherJunge the needier you are, the more "others" will reject you.
this happens because, very intimately, you're already rejecting yourself.

I think my problem is not that I am rejecting myself, because i don't really have a problem with other people. It's just beautiful girls I have such problems with, probably I project too much onto them.
What i also just noticed is, she wrote to me that she doesn't have time to write with me because her best friend(female) is there. And all that crazy monkey mind is gone from that point on. It seems like it's the uncertainty why she doesen't write back for so long that makes me go so crazy, also this seems to be just one way when she wrote to me I can write back even at the next day without really having this problem.

Edit: Problem solved atleast by proxy, just doing the Do Nothing meditation and letting out the monkey mind without engaging in it solved that issue.

Edited October 4, 2017 by LaucherJunge