The Way Of The Superior Man - Chapter 15 (or Why Women Test Men)

[Ariel]

This chapter talks about tests of women. Deida tells us that women often test men (in the relationship) to see the "Shiva" in a man, to see his strength and calmness. But something here is not sitting in my head. (For example, a man comes home and tells his wife he won million dollar. The wife responds like it's nothing and keeps going, that's a test).

Is it actually true? If so, why do women do this? I just feel it's pretty dumb. I understand all the book chapters so far except this one, it's just sound stupid.

Can you give some explaining?

[Preetom]

Cause she wants the D.

[Preetom]

Jokes aside, you can see it from a hindu perspective.

The universe is nothing but the interplay of Shiva (male) and Shakti(female). 

Shiva is the ultimate nothingness/stillness/awareness itself. Absolutely still.

Shakti is the energy counterpart of Shiva. Shakti lures Shiva into a cosmic dance and that's how universe and consciousness comes out of utter nothingness. 

So its Shakti's nature to disturb the stillness of Shiva in order to immerse into the game of cosmic creation.

Like so, women test and excite the energy in male to higher and higher levels so that both can be joined in that heightened rapture. Either in bed or outside..you know..... 

[Ricky Walt]

Personally I don't think that's a realistic example. I was driving to work this morning listening to a guy that just won half a mil in some competition and while him and the radio presenter were talking about it his wife couldn't stop calling him. The radio presenter then went ahead and called the wife and she was so excited lol. I find it hard to imagine a situation where a wife would sit there on the couch after hearing the news and not have a reaction?

[Ariel]

5 hours ago, Mad Max said:

Yes. They do this, because they're wired to find the man with the best possible genes. So they challenge men to see if they're insecure/neurotic, i.e. determine the quality of their genes.

Insecure/neurotic = lesser quality genes = diminished chances of survival for her and her offspring. It also means:

• less strong offspring.
• won't be able to defend her/the child if and when they're being attacked.
• poor ability to generate resources.
• poor ability to handle everyday situations.
• low status (less respect/support from other men).

Another way to put it: unable to keep his cool in life-threatening situations = death for him, her, and the child.

Or: increased emotional stability = higher quality genes = greater chances of survival for him, her and their offsping.

Additionally:

1. careful not to mistake testing/challenging with shaming/gaslighting. There is a general tendency, especially in our societies, to always condone a woman's behaviors, no matter how abusive they may be (tamper tantrums, emotional bullying, gossip, etc.). Usually dismissed under the pretense that "women are emotional creatures". That's a load of shit. There's tons of emotionally unhealthy women out there. Learn to test women yourself to separate the wheat from the chaff.
2. women usually can't stand it when their own behaviors are being mirrored back at them. Something to keep in mind when testing/challenging them.
3. the woman DD talks about in his book isn't testing him. She's just being a cu**. Again, careful not to mistake the two.

But why do they do this so often (even every 10 minutes according to Deida), isn't it enough? 

 

[Emerald]

I don't test my husband. It doesn't come naturally to me. When we first met, I was super weird and chaotic so I was very bold and honest about that. So, perhaps that was a test of sorts to see if he could handle me and my weirdness. But it was really only for the sake of fun. It just feels petty to me to expect a man to jump through hoops. Plus, it's not fun or rewarding... so I get nothing out of it.

But I do remember back to when I was more neurotic and in my first relationship. I was 16 years old, and I was in a serious relationship that ended up lasting four years. And for about the first six months, I would unconsciously exaggerate being upset or hurt because I wanted him to apologize and dote on me. And I would even unconsciously set up situations where he would make mistakes toward me, so that I could then exaggerate being upset or hurt more. I never had anyone give me that kind of attention before, so I craved it. I had needs there that I wasn't aware of yet, so they had never been met before. But he was meeting them when he cared enough about my emotions to try to repair them with me. So, I was unconsciously using this manipulative behavior to get an emotional fix. But once I realized that I was being manipulative and why I was doing it, I stopped. I just asked him for attention directly after that point.

So, I don't really think that testing men is part of the healthy feminine instinct, unless it's done at the onset of the relationship. I do think it becomes a feminine instinct when a woman is unconscious to her emotions though. It's what happens when you are unaware of your emotions and needs, as a woman or feminine man. The Shadow Feminine comes up and unconsciously uses manipulation to get its needs met and uses these tests. But it should not be celebrated as the natural way of women. It's the natural way of the Shadow Feminine. It's an unconscious behavior.

Edited October 4, 2017 by Emerald

[Forestluv]

On 10/3/2017 at 10:10 AM, Mad Max said:

Yes. They do this, because they're wired to find the man with the best possible genes. So they challenge men to see if they're insecure/neurotic, i.e. determine the quality of their genes.

Insecure/neurotic = lesser quality genes = diminished chances of survival for her and her offspring. It also means:

• less strong offspring.
• won't be able to defend her/the child if and when they're being attacked.
• poor ability to generate resources.
• poor ability to handle everyday situations.
• low status (less respect/support from other men).

Another way to put it: unable to keep

Those are just a couple selective factors. Others such as height, sense of humor, religion and ethnicity are also strong selective forces. An insecure guy who is 6’3”, handsome with a great sense of humor would have a higher sexual fitness than an emotionally-stable confident 5’4” guy who is overweight and balding.

Edited October 5, 2017 by Serotoninluv