Freedom Comes And Goes

[Max_V]

Fuck I just realized how depended I am upon situations to make me happy. When something goes wrong I get so depressed. Then I try to inquire what is depressed but it feels like nothing is happening. The same analogy that I’ve used before aplies here. It feels like an arrow being shot at a heavy armored knight. The arrow get’s deflected.

The belief that I am the body mind is so strong, it seems like it is impossible to ever grasps that I could be something different. I have these moments where there is a realization ‘Ahh I am free, how could it be any different ?’. Then the day after this state is gone. I know awareness never leaves us but it feels like it goes back to being small and isn’t enough to be free of problems. It isn’t on the foreground anymore but is somewhere in the background.  The problems become overwhelming.

Edited September 29, 2017 by Max_V

[WelcometoReality]

@Max_V So your mood is dependent of the outcomes of life. Perfectly normal wouldn't you say? It's fine to be depressed, happy, sad or whatever mood your in. The key though is to let yourself be in that state. What is it that is resisting the depression?

Whichever state you are experiencing right now, that is the perfect state. What you really are is already here and it is unconditionally loving to every experience. What is it that becomes unsettled by "bad" experiences.

[Max_V]

@WelcometoReality Very interesting. This really resonates with me, I've found the inner resistance towards feeling depressed. 

There is an belief stuck in my head that to be deep in consciousness work means to always feel peaceful. This is obviously wrong and can never be achieved. It's the underlying peace that is there under all circumstances.

Thanks for making me aware of this, I really appreciate it!

[WelcometoReality]

15 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@WelcometoReality Very interesting. This really resonates with me, I've found the inner resistance towards feeling depressed. 

There is an belief stuck in my head that to be deep in consciousness work means to always feel peaceful. This is obviously wrong and can never be achieved. It's the underlying peace that is there under all circumstances.

Thanks for making me aware of this, I really appreciate it!

Glad to hear that. 

I would start there and see where it takes you. It certainly changed things for me to surrender to every experience and it can be applied everywhere.

Edited September 29, 2017 by WelcometoReality

[vizual]

I agree with WelcomeReality. 

It's very attractive to try to escape your fear, anxiety and depressed states. Either by trying to run from it mentally, physically or drugs, sex, alcohol or whatever. But that just delays and prolongs the suffering. 

But when you actually allow the depression and anxiety you unconsciously learn how to deal and cope with it. Even if it doesn't feel that way. Your mind is actually wired to look for a way to improve your own mood and life. By allowing unhappy states to 'be' you give your brain the permission to learn, adapt and seek a solution. But this learning is mostly not immediate, it takes some time. And after a while the 'aha' moment can come so you can grow spiritually. That is why drugs, alcohol and other forms of escapism can be absolutely detrimental to ones spiritual growth. It tricks the brain into thinking that everything in life is 'ok'. So the unconscious does not try to make any effort to grow in that way.

It takes strength and faith, though. And it's very tempting to try to escape the pain if the present situation if not pleasant.