I Don't Feel Like Getting Along With Anyone

[kieranperez]

So I'm becoming more and more aware how I'm getting more consistently irritable. Not only that, I feel like I just don't want to get along with people. It's like I have this angry defense mechanism that has been leading me to getting into the DAILY altercations I have with people. It's almost like I look to try and get under people's skin as a way to retaliate against something. I do notice an internal dialogue that says, 'I don't take shit from people anymore.' I'm becoming more and more mindful of my common unconscious visualizations about even getting into fights with people and getting EXTREMELY violent with people. I have a hard time relaxing around people at this point because I tend to be way too asseetive even just in casual conversations. It feels like that attitude of 'don't fuck with me asshole or you'll find out what happens.' 

How do I unwire something like this? What could be causing this? Resources? Books? Advice? 

[smd]

@kieranperez When these people discover your hostility how do they treat you afterwards?  Do they stop talking to & practice avoidance?

I mean, you should be seeing people not want to have anything to do with you, as a consequence of your attitude.

So you should be asking yourself, "What can I do to keep people from running away after just having a conversation with me?"

Otherwise, that is the endpoint: you'll drive everyone away & nobody will have nothing to do with you, unless absolutely necessary.  You'll be excluded from any friendly events by others because they will not want to hear it.  So you have to check your emotions & not gut react every time something doesn't go your way.  The hippies will say to practice mindfulness meditation, so you can pay attention to these feelings.  I'm sure it would help. :-)

[pluto]

Your mood is low, your brain chemicals are most probably jumbled up and your subconscious is probably flooded with unnecessary junk.

A change in lifestyle/diet helped me when i was younger, some of the things i did.

Stopped watching TV/News or negative based movies/shows or anything that didn't help me grow or give me motivation for life same for music and everything else, basically stopped hanging around people and carefully observed everything that i fed my senses on a daily basis. I adopted a healthier diet paired with powerful healing herbs, i started exercising, meditation, finding new hobbies, spending time in nature, trying to do new things every day, read spiritual books and listened to spiritual teachers, started to dance and create music as a art form and something to do to keep my mind of thinking as the more in the present moment i was the more thoughts could not arise eventually i had replaced all my old dark thoughts with new patterns and new thoughts and i was starting to get better, i also met my soul mate which then the love also skyrocketed everything i was doing to a whole new level but eventually came to an end which only made me wiser, more grateful, more forgiving and more appreciative of life although it freed me from my old self almost completely, nowadays if i lose balance i can re-center myself very quickly where before it would take a very long time to leave dark phases.

When you feel better, you will want to interact and do more and go out there and explore and meet new people, when you feel low you don't its simply chemical reactions and construct within the body. Bruce Lipton has some good videos on how to DE-programm the subconscious mind.

I'd say cutting out all processed and junk food and cutting out TV/Social Media allowed my body to restore itself and then with a healthy body the mind could take control easier so i wasn't so much on auto-pilot and through meditation, exerciser, nature, love, ect.. Everything became amplified within itself and ultimately lead to my Initial Awakening and i was at peace and free from all the darkness and demons and illusions i once had and believed in.

I used to always think im cursed until one woman once told me no, this is not true, you think that way thus why it manifests, think your blessed instead and notice how things change, she was special too me, and i think that was the spark which eventually lead to everything else.

Hope this helps

Edited September 28, 2017 by pluto

[Saarah]

@kieranperez Maybe you feel being the opposite leaves you vulnerable to becoming a doormat and people destroying your sense of self worth?

In that case it may be a self esteem issue so try researching about that 

[kieranperez]

@Mad Max to give you an example of how extreme this can be I'm gonna quickly mention that this can be taken so far where Ive been in my car and have a consistent highway rage problem where I'm cutting people off, hitting 140, and numerous times have had NDE's and even worse, almost killed people. Now, that's a very extreme example which usually causes me to drop back down to realize how damaging this is. 

My point with this example is that I do get your point. However, a lot of things need to have a direct approach in getting rid of certain behaviors and anything along those lines. I think what needs to be understood is that I'm not in a situation (multiple situations really since you've seen my other posts) where I can afford being so passive. This stuff needs to be cut out now and I need to start getting results with my life. 

[ajasatya]

@kieranperez i can relate to this. i used to imagine myself beating the shit outta people. the mental visualizations got really ugly. i felt so violent inside.

i got over it by understanding that i was responsible for myself even when i was a little child. but i was too ignorant and vulnerable so i let too much shit in. as i grew up, i noticed that i really hated myself. the hatred was so big that it felt like i hated everyone around me.

this is the key: you're responsible for yourself and you ALWAYS WERE and you ALWAYS WILL BE.

the problem is not people. it doesn't matter what they do... it will always feel like they're doing whatever just to irritate you. but this is the true essence of the teachings of no-self/no-others: it's your fault.

it may feel like you hate others, but you actually hate Life Itself. to be more precise, there isn't even an you to hate Life. there's just intense hatred being experienced.

shut up. sit down, close your eyes and observe all that hatred. find it in your body. let go of its reasons and just stay with the emotional/physical sensation.

this is important: let go of the reasons and just stay with the physical sensation. everytime you come up with a reason, you're feeding the hatred within you. feel it very deeply. make it very intimate. BECOME IT. and then you'll be free.

[Kevin Dunlop]

20 hours ago, kieranperez said:

 

How do I unwire something like this? What could be causing this? Resources? Books? Advice? 

#1 - Do not act on this in a way that you will regret. This is normal, it is good that you have become aware of it and want to do something. We live in a world that creates problems for people on the level of identity - lack of communication skills, competitive objectives, lack of coping skills etc. We are always having to put up with alot of frustrating things and choke them back as normal life. Daily grind, capitalist empty lifestyle, poor quality food, electric fields ( doesnt it feel good when the power goes off?) work ethic, social pressure, lack of self pride and education ( not schooling). You, my friend, may need to get away for a bit. Some say when a coulpe begins to fight it means they need some time apart. You may need some time apart from all of it. Can you pull this off? If its not an option you may see here another reason to be frustrated -people locking you into their plans for you at the cost of your freedom and mental health. BUT dont get pissed off at them - its not anymore their fault than it is yours - we have all been trained from birth to do this without thinking about it. Its just now you have to find your own way to move through this phase of realization  I urge you to, in the short term, find a way to blow of the steam that you have built up - punching bag in a gym for example. Limit your exposure to people and visit nature - we may need alot more alone time that than think - we are wired for endless forests, clean air, clean water and sunshine, camp fires and stary nights. Good luck