Too Depressed To Advance In My Life

[kieranperez]

So I'm 22, still living at home with quite literally no money. I have no college degree. I know my life purpose 100% but I'm so stuck in victim thinking. I just don't feel compelled enough. Even though it's my life purpose, I still don't feel motivated to advance my life. I'm just so depressed right now where I'll get motivated for a short bit to try and lay out a plan to work to move out but immediately I feel like I get shot in the heart because Im so depressed that I don't believe moving out will really change how I feel inside. I don't really feel compelled enough to do anything. I feel stuck in this sense of hopelessness. 

I'll ask myself, 'okay, what do I honestly want right now? What do I want to shoot for?' In yet nothing comes to mind. I can't think of anything that seems both attainable or simply something I truly want. I'll think about moving out and I'll be like, 'great. I'm gonna move out but now I'm gonna work some shit job AND be living alone and still depressed.' 

I just don't know what to do...

[kieranperez]

@Mad Max been doing that for years...

[Amadeusz]

What about willpower-usage strategy mixed with baby steps? Just acknowledge that you are in deep trouble, feel these bad emotions like Mad Max said but slowly use your will to get out of this shit. What can you do? For example start meditating 10mins daily and work on your life purpose 10 mins daily. You know your situation has a lot of positive aspects for sure! And I'm sure there are many people who have worse situation going on in their life. Be patient, there will be many setbacks. Notice that it works for me, but doesn't have to work for you. Maybe start working on your self-talk? What else can you do? Maybe some gratitute? I'm weak at it but I feel it could help. YOU CAN DO IT

Edited September 26, 2017 by Amadeusz

[ajasatya]

2 hours ago, kieranperez said:

@Mad Max been doing that for years...

no you haven't. you've never tasted freedom from future, otherwise you wouldn't be feeling the way you are right now.

you have to learn how to love yourself regardless of the situation. nobody else will do it for you.

[Gabriel Antonio]

I can totally relate to this topic. I was in your shoes 1 year ago. 

@Mad Max Great post!!! Amazing insights!! The inferior ego is scared off its mind to give in to "addictions" (e.g., ice cream, TV watching, drugs etc.) THIS IS NOT AN ADVICE FOR ALL TYPES OF EGOS. But, seriously, taking into consideration this forum, I'd say that your advice of allowing yourself to give in is useful for the majority of us. 

 

My Take on This!

Theoretically, I am kind of in a similar situation as you are right now. I am 21. I live with my parents. I work 2 times a week working in a super easy, rewarding, and aligned with-my-purpose job. I don't have a college degree (nor am I in college). So maybe if we compare you and me the only difference is that I am working with something related to my purpose. So go after your purpose. Take any action related to it. Just fucking start! The rest will figure itself out like Magic. Haha. Take some RADICAL ACTION, dude! 

I was feeling as hopeless as you are exactly a year ago. After I start meeting with real people and making decent connections with other human beings, BAM! I finally started to feel good again. I see myself in you.  You can totally make things better. Just fucking believe, dude! Seriously, imagine you were from the evagelical church and you were fighting against evil inner demons, hahaha! Your life depended on you fucking fighting that shit, would you do it? Or would you allow them to eat you up? Hahahahaha! I am just kidding... or am I not?

Anyway, dude, realize that this is a fucking phase. Yes, it fucking sucks. But it is a phase. The future will work itself out by its own. Maybe Life is trying to teach you something... 

- are you patient? or are you always unsatisfied with the present fucking moment? 

- do you force yourself to be kind? if you do this, stop right now. You DID NOT come to this world to be a bitch to anybody. Forcing kindness actually backfires. You become like a bitter lemon. 

- do you allow yourself to feel, talk, and think however you want to? 

- do you listen a lot to "authority" figures in your head? KILL THEM! this is a wide-spread type of schizophrenia, 99% of us have. introjected parents. it is CRAZY! We all have fake, devilish and distorted versions of our mom and dad (or a random authority figure) inside our heads.  

You know that cartoonish version of your parents you had the Fear Mind gave it to you when you were very small? Well, if you don't remember, good for you! If you think you are still being influenced by this "scary voices", or if you are unable to function in society because of childhood traumas, go take some fucking psychedelics! most people still carry this heavy baggage from their childhood -.- i myself am working REAL HARD on feeling good again. psychedelics done in a proper manner allow you to tap into those types of fear and kill'em. 

 

So... I feel like it is all a matter of mindset. Seriously, maybe you can simply choose to see how fortunate you already are. First of all, you have a fucking shelter!!!!! So many people are DYING because of the cold... right in this fucking moment... children are about to die due to malnutrition... so... if you still wanna bitch about everything and how you haven't figured out the tiny details, go ahead!

(This is called reverse psychology. There is a part of your subconscious mind that does the opposite that you ask it to do. It is fucking CRAZY!)

 

- do you take RADICAL ACTION? That is, are you able to get off of your fucking mind and throw yourself to the world in small bites? It ain't that hard. If college is something important for you, have you visited any college? if your life purpose is important: do you repeat it to yourself at least three times a day? If being independent is important, is this REALLY your desire? or is this something you got from other people?

 

just to finish off, here is a final question: 

is your life really THAT bad? is living with your parents THAT bad? 

in my case, I certainly don't like to be in such a comfort zone here in my parents' house, but actually when I am simply present for once ahaha, I realize that, "Hmm... it is actually quite pleasant. It is just that I am an ungrateful bastard."

 

I tried to be as clean and straightforward as I could. Haha. Maybe I put a lot of effort on this post Hahahahaha! I always overdo shit

[Emptystickfigure]

Keep climbing on! Think positively; It won't happen in one day. I believe in the Law of attraction. 

 

[Toby]

7 hours ago, ajasatya said:

no you haven't. you've never tasted freedom from future, otherwise you wouldn't be feeling the way you are right now.

One could have an awakening one moment and be suicidal depressed the next moment. So I wouldn't assume what is or should be going on with other people.

[kieranperez]

@Gabriel Antonio that was beyond helpful man. Got chills reading that. Thank you so much (: 

[Gabriel Antonio]

@kieranperez