Moralism, Should Statements And Radical Honesty

[MM1988]

Which books did Leo get this theory from? I have a really problem with feeling guilty about things I think I should do, or shouldnt have done and beat myself up over it. I dont know if its a self esteem issue at the core but I suspect.

 

Im currently finishing reading radical honesty and it has a section about moralism but it really isnt the same.

 

By the way I am really disappointed by radical honesty, I didnt get any insights about myself or any practical advice from it, it reads like rambling. Being 100% honest and just speaking out what pops in your mind just isnt practical in real life. Maybe you are more free, but who wants to give up all his relationships? People wont invite the guy who doesnt have a filter to any social gatherings.

Edited September 25, 2017 by MM1988

[TimStr]

@MM1988

1 hour ago, MM1988 said:

Which books did Leo get this theory from? I have a really problem with feeling guilty about things I think I should do, or shouldnt have done and beat myself up over it. I dont know if its a self esteem issue at the core but I suspect.

You can get Leo's list of recommended books. Most of the theory should be there. 

1 hour ago, MM1988 said:

By the way I am really disappointed by radical honesty, I didnt get any insights about myself or any practical advice from it, it reads like rambling. Being 100% honest and just speaking out what pops in your mind just isnt practical in real life. Maybe you are more free, but who wants to give up all his relationships? People wont invite the guy who doesnt have a filter to any social gatherings.

Here's the thing with radical honesty and relationships. It basically boil some down to becoming more polarizing and authentic. By being radically honest, you constantly show to other people, who you are and how you feel. You put much more emphasis on communicating your stance in this world. Of course, many people won't resonate with that. But the ones that do, do even more so. 

So you're trading your many shallow superficial relationships for fewer but more meaningful ones. Because you're taking a more defined position in this world people can decide more clearly, if they can identify with you or not. 

Sure, you may receive more hate from the people that can't. But you will also receive more love from the people that can. And trust me, it's a hell of a relief, if you stop kissing anybody's ass.

Regarding not getting any insights about yourself: radical Honesty is a highly practical concept, so try it and apply it in your life, before making any judgment about it giving you insights or not. 

Edited September 25, 2017 by TimStr

[Forestluv]

@MM1988 I have soooo many background thoughts. Some are random and absurd that I allow to float by. I can't imagine expressing every thought that crosses my mind. Imagine being in a theatre watching a nature scene and expressing your thought "I wonder what it's like to have sex as a baboon". I mean some thoughts should just float right on by.

Now, "speaking my truth" is very different. For example, a year ago I began using psychedelics as a tool for personal development. There have been some amazing experiences and insights. Overall, I would say using psychedelics in moderation feels healthy and is part of my "truth" as a seeker. It is part of who I am. Unfortunately, there is a stigma with psychedelics and I didn't feel comfortable telling anyone in my life - including friends or people I dated. One day it felt like I wasn't expressing my truth, that I was hiding this part of me. Did I call up my boss and parents to let them know? No. Did I tell a gal on the first date "before we even start this date, I have to tell you that I use psychedelics". No. It just didn't feel relevant. Yet, when I was discussing an experience with a close friend, did I tell her a psychedelic was involved? Yes. After going on a few dates and a gal asked me with curiosity "what do you do for introspective work"? - Did I include psychedelics on the list? Yes. What has happened is that connections were revealed and strengthened and lack of connections were revealed. One friend asked if she could try a psychedelic with me in October. One gal I dated initially thought it was dangerous and weird. Yet, when I spoke of it nonchalantly like a form of meditation, she got curious and started asking questions. We have spent hours discussing the experience. And there have been gals I never heard back from. And that's good to know. I dated a gal for a year before I realized she did not support or connect with this part of my Truth.

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, MM1988 said:

Being 100% honest and just speaking out what pops in your mind just isnt practical in real life.

That's an illusion which is your job to overcome.

See, right now, you're not even remotely conscious of just how dishonest you are in your interactions. So much so, that if you ever start to become conscious, your mind's first line of defense is: "Pfffft... well, that level of honestly is just impossible in the real world." That's an excuse! It only seems so impossible because right now your entire life is house of lies. Very authentic interaction is possible, but you're gonna have to really work for it. It won't be easy given all the habits of manipulation and lying that we're all conditioned with in this society.

Which is NOT the say that you should go around telling everyone all the intimate details of your life or spouting off everything that enters your monkey mind.

This is an issue which requires a lot of very subtle consciousness work.

Start by watching my video: How You Lie

[MM1988]

Thanks Leo this video was very informative, I wish this information and all these examples were in the book, much more relatable.

 

Im still working on my understanding of the material. What would a radically honest person do in these situations?

- A friend x tells you something really personal, later in the day another friend y asks how your visits been and what you talked about

- Someone introduces you to a friend and this friend is fat, ugly or some racist thought pops in your head you wouldnt normally speak about.

 

We all have these filters in society for a reason, sure it IS lying to not offend everybody but if you dont play by these rules you will alienate yourself, how would that improve your life?

 

Even in dating I made this experience. If I'm on a date with a girl I used to be naturally open about my depression and confidence issues in the past when asked, and I saw that drives women and people in general away like crazy. Especially if you are a man talking about your true feelings is discouraged in society and especially by women.

Edited September 26, 2017 by MM1988

[Spiral]

I tend to be honest generally all the time about how I feel about things, but you can always pick your words carefully.

So instead of saying, "I don't like this" you can say "this not really my type of food, but i'm really grateful we can have this dinner together" In a positive way. If whoever cooked ask how I feel about the food.