Why Is Ego Death So Frightening?

[hinawashi]

So I was meditating a few days ago, trying to follow Leo's advices and whatnot, trying to connect myself with the rest of the universe so to speak. Then I suddenly realized that there really is no "me" in this world, and everything is one, I am the entire universe, and everything in the universe is me.

But then came the scary part. At the same time I made that realization, I felt extremely frightened, as if I'm about to die, like I know my death is coming. Almost like I'm falling off a cliff and I know I'm doomed to die when I hit the bottom. I started to panic and I had to snap myself out of meditation to get that frightening feeling out of my mind.

I certainly don't want to go through that process again. That's too much for me to handle. SO I'm asking you guys here, is that feeling common when meditating? Or is it just me going nucking futs?

[pluto]

Because we have been so distracted from our true/inner self our whole lives by the world we grew up to live in when we do finally let go of everything we been taught and connect with ourselves, our authenticity, our unconditioned state once again it in many cases can be a frightening experience until the body/mind complex gets used to it again. Surrender to all that is and become all that is

Remember its this Ego/Character we have grown to know as ourselves that doubts, fears ect.. Our true authenticity is unconditional love and connectiveness thus no fear, illusion or darkness can be present.

We must reconnect and rewire with our Inner-Child and the more we do so the more fear and illusion dissolves.

Edited September 23, 2017 by pluto

[TimStr]

Your ego is not some thing within you or some part of you. It is you! It's all of you!

So why is ego death frightening? It's because YOU WILL DIE!

You, that entity that is reading these words and hearing them in his head will end! Forever! And you will not come back! Never! That experience of you, being alive, that you are just in will be over!

I am not getting at this from a philosophical or conceptual point of view. This is actually how it feels! 

Of cause, if you encounter ego death on psychedelics or meditation, after some time, your ego might come back. But when you're at the very brink of it, it will feel, like it's the end, and you won't ever come back. It will feel terminal. You will die!

4 hours ago, hinawashi said:

I certainly don't want to go through that process again. That's too much for me to handle. SO I'm asking you guys here, is that feeling common when meditating? Or is it just me going nucking futs?

Sure it's too much for you to handle, because you won't survive it! It will kill you. 

Enlightenment is the most lethal thing for the ego.

Notice: I am not saying this, to freak you out, but to show you, that, what you've encountered is perfectly alright. That's what it's about. It should feel that way. If you find that you're not ready for this, don't worry, that's perfectly normal, the ego is there for survival, you probably won't ever be ready.

I wouldn't say, that ego death is so common on meditation. I have never encountered it that way. So congratulations, you're making some real progress. 

In you're mind, you're probably saying something along the lines of: "Oh man, can't I have the insight without ego death. I am ok with anything, if I can avoid this. Please leave this little flame, here on this side of my eyes burning."

But, if you want to drive enlightenment home you have to suffer through that. And if you're brave enough and conquer your fear death you will come back victorious! And there won't be anything left, that can harm you ever again. Except, that it won't be you, that comes back. Bummer.

Watch Leo's video on 2C-B for additional explaination and words of encouragement. 

Edited September 23, 2017 by TimStr

[Joseph Maynor]

@TimStr I'm not sure you can experience true ego-death by meditation alone.  You need something to really get up under the Ego like a psychedelic.  Meditation does a lot of things, but I'm not sure it can trigger a true ego-death experience.  

Edited September 23, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Principium Nexus]

Ego death is so frightening because since we grew up we were recognized with this imagine of self. Looking in the mirror or just doing stuff and living feels like one identity but actually there is non or many that seem to work like one. Breaking this illusion of unity can feel both psychological and physiological odd. Breaking down from the one into infinite self until this fullness is recognized as the world around us. 

[hinawashi]

9 hours ago, TimStr said:

In you're mind, you're probably saying something along the lines of: "Oh man, can't I have the insight without ego death. I am ok with anything, if I can avoid this. Please leave this little flame, here on this side of my eyes burning."

Yes, you've read my mind perfectly correct. This is exactly what I'm thinking. I used to say I'm not afraid to die, but when that ego death comes upon me, that really reduces me to a pile of quivering jelly. In my rational mind I know this is only a meditation and I'm not really going to die, but that fear of death completely overwhelms the rational side of my mind to the point that fear of death becomes real.

Thanks for letting me know anyways. I wish I could overcome this fear and keep making progress, but right now I'm far from ready yet...

[TimStr]

What kind of meditation technique are you currently using? Just as @Joseph Maynor said, it's not that common to hear people talk about an ego death experience induced by meditation. 

7 hours ago, hinawashi said:

Thanks for letting me know anyways. I wish I could overcome this fear and keep making progress, but right now I'm far from ready yet...

Perhaps you would benefit from some more mindfulness oriented meditation. I guess ego death is easier to face, if you're able to see it for just, what it is. 

[hinawashi]

@TimStr I honestly don't know which technique I was using. I was simply clearing out of my own thoughts and start to see the world as myself, like I am the whole universe and everything in it is part of me, sort of. I really don't know how to describe it in words, but I was listing everything I could think of, and taking it in as part of me, both the good and the bad things. But in the end, it became so frightening that I had to stop and I really don't want to go back in there.

I think I'll go read some threads from the meditation section of the forum. Maybe I'm doing it the wrong way and turned meditation into a complete nightmare.

[Richard Alpert]

i get that sensation in meditation quite often.

it was very scary first, but not anymore.

[Shin]

You're doing perfectly fine, don't change anything, that would be your ego (yourself) trying to convince itself that it's doing great and go forward when in fact it's just too scared to face the truth again.

Just face it again and again, you'll never be ready, you can't be ready to kill yourself, how could you be, you're killing yourself !

[Brimstone]

Don't stress hinawashi, you are exactly where you need to be, nestled warmly within the womb of creation...

 

Ask yourself, what is it that dies with the ego? What is it that you are afraid to let go of?

[Joseph Maynor]

Keep meditating.  Try to let the mind take a nap when you meditate.  Don't force it to, but don't be thinking when you're meditating either.

Just do do nothing meditation for 30 minutes.  Get in touch with the body.  Let the mind do what it wants, but don't encourage it.  Just appreciate Being in the present moment.  Notice everything you are aware of -- sounds, images, thoughts, emotions, touch, taste.

Notice that thoughts are real as sensations, but the images, ideas, visualizations, are taken by the mind to be real when they are not real.  There is a giant illusion going on with thoughts.  But then thoughts do exist as sensations. Thoughts are both True and false.  This is a very nice area to do inquiry work!

 

Edited September 25, 2017 by Joseph Maynor