My Experience Thus Far With Kundalini (no Self Realization)

[ThirdEyeSees]

I am a female in my early 30s.  I follow actualized.org religiously haha but I haven't typed on here that much.  I hope to participate more on this forum.  Thank you to all who share their wisdom. 

I started meditating August 2016 and I took 4 doses of psychedelic mushrooms about every 3 months, 2.5 g,3.5g, 2.0 g, 2.0 g.

After the first time I did mushrooms I started feeling energy waves in my head.  Eventually I started feeling the chakras opening in the center of my body.  Not my spine.  I had a third eye opening in June.  I started seeing what looks like clear rain outside.  Then the energy started going from the crown of my head, to the back of my head, down my spine.  I can feel it down my complete spine now and my entire body.  I feel like electrical current in my body several times a week. I don't know how else to describe it.   When I relax at the end of the night thats when I feel it the most.  I have been getting some pressure headaches but have watched youtube videos that have helped me with the amount of pressure in the head.  I basically feel this energy moving in me all the time.  Sometimes its working in my head, sometimes throat, sometime heart, and basically every chakra point.  

Emotions:  Before knowing all this I actually thought I was a sweet person.  haha I have a lot of built up anger, resentment, fear, and anxiety and each of these are coming up and I have a difficult time being mindful.  I get caught up in the story and lash out specifically towards my husband.  Today I told myself I am going to focus more on my mindfulness and being positive.  My husband is supportive but has some skepticism about what I am experiencing.   He wants me to get an MRI  to rule out anything else.  

How do I feel: Well, I don't love the stories you read online about Kundalini.  I was told not to read them.  I have recently made an appointment with Dr. Bonne Greenwell to get some feedback.   http://www.kundaliniguide.com/ .   They say each one is different  so I would just love to get some advice.  Also there is another service I found online called PKYC at http://kundalinicare.com/.  They each do Skype appts.  I haven't seen her yet but I can give you an update.  

If you have any questions please ask.

Also, if you have any advice I would love to hear.  

 

 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

Read the book: Enlightenment Through the Path of Kundalini, by Tara Springett

[ThirdEyeSees]

@Leo Gura Thank you Leo. 

[sgn]

@ThirdEyeSees She also got a youtube channel.

[cetus]

5 hours ago, ThirdEyeSees said:

 Today I told myself I am going to focus more on my mindfulness and being positive.

@ThirdEyeSees God is more here than you are. Mooji

[ThirdEyeSees]

@sgn    @cetus56  Thank you!

 

[Space]

@ThirdEyeSees You should go to one of Jan Esmann's Shaktipat retreats (http://lovebliss.eu/index.html). That'll really get your Kundalini going!

Also, if you have a reeeally open-mind, seeing as your Kundalini is active, you should try his Shaktipat video Transmission. As crazy as it sounds, I have met people who said this works.

 

Edited September 23, 2017 by Space

[ThirdEyeSees]

@Space Thank you so much.    I will try out this video in a few days and will let you know.  Totally open minded. I feel like I have to be now.  

[Martin123]

@ThirdEyeSees  
This is a funny scenario, on the topic of open-mindedness.
There is raging divine energy within your body destroying all the fragments of your ego-structure, giving you full body orgasms, making your life into a non-stop psychadelic trip, giving you unexplainable physical symptoms, hallucinations, dark night of the soul, negative thoughts.
 

And I just decide that I will be closed-minded, and go to a doctor to get some pills to stop that shit from happening =D.

[Nahm]

@ThirdEyeSees I would spend some time understanding how I was being triggered by my husband, until I saw that it was actually all me.  I think if you see enough of the relativity going on, or enough of the 'domino's' that are leading him to have that experience and you to have that experience, then you'll let go of some filter or self imposed blockage of your own love. Being 'triggered' by someone is actually your flow of love being interrupted and reduced by judging. If there was no judgement happening within you, that same trigger would intensify your love. Takes a while, but eventually, when he conducts the same "triggers", it will trigger love & joy & laughter in you. Then you have to practice not laughing outwardly all the time, or people will think you're a little crazy on the love. But then you will be filled with love and all is well, so, crazy becomes a pretty acceptable paradigm.

[Martin123]

@Nahm WIth kundalini there is a level of getting triggered, where no amount of shifting perspective and understanding will take you out of your excruciating pain.

[Nahm]

@Martin123 I have experienced differently. I find the breath always begins the change and then the shift

[Martin123]

@Nahm Oh, do you have an active kundalini ? 
side note: breath is nice, but it doesn't take the pain away. It just gives you patience to give it the honor it deserves.

[ThirdEyeSees]

12 hours ago, Martin123 said:

@ThirdEyeSees  
This is a funny scenario, on the topic of open-mindedness.
There is raging divine energy within your body destroying all the fragments of your ego-structure, giving you full body orgasms, making your life into a non-stop psychadelic trip, giving you unexplainable physical symptoms, hallucinations, dark night of the soul, negative thoughts.

@Martin123 that is hilarious! Hahaha it's so true. I felt like there was an electrical orb around my body last night. And now I feel love and bliss in my head and throat. It's nuts. Did you continue to meditate? I had to take a break because it was getting too intense. Did/do you have any teachers to help you? 

 

@Nahm I am also interested if you have an active kundalini. I can potentially see that working but it is hard in the middle of it.  Thank you for the advice. Tara Springett said to meet kundalinis power with love. 

[Nahm]

@Martin123 @ThirdEyeSees Yes, around 3 years ago. I agree, love is the answer. I suggested breathing because then the clearity comes. Then the trigger is clearer, the judgement or anger is clearer, and then can be let go of. I'm not saying it will stop the pain. I'm saying in terms of letting go of the self judgement attached that is blocking the energy, which may be causing the pain.   Good luck, i hope the pain subsides soon.  

[Martin123]

4 hours ago, ThirdEyeSees said:

@Martin123 that is hilarious! Hahaha it's so true. I felt like there was an electrical orb around my body last night. And now I feel love and bliss in my head and throat. It's nuts. Did you continue to meditate? I had to take a break because it was getting too intense. Did/do you have any teachers to help you? 

 

@Nahm I am also interested if you have an active kundalini. I can potentially see that working but it is hard in the middle of it.  Thank you for the advice. Tara Springett said to meet kundalinis power with love. 

First year and a half of my kundalini I had a daily meditation practice (Didnt have one prior to that). Especially last 6-7 months, I used to do a lot of Strong determination sitting. And it used to be quite helpful... calmed my mind, kundalini had a better flow... (except for a short period whne my dark-night began, around 6 months from the beginning... thats a funny story. For the first time I became conscious of my shadow and honest to god I thought I had schizophrenia... I went to therapy and that helped me sort my thoughs out).

And then, I remember that clearly, one day It stopped feeling relevant at all. It didnt do anything for me. It felt like a waste of time. So I stopped the daily practice and started meditating only when I felt like it, + I did inner child work. After some time I found Matt Kahn and he brought a lot of clarity, and a clear practice of loving myself.

Actually just a few weeks ago, I felt really inspired to meditate... so I put on some binaural beats, sat down on my bed, and dove right into it. And it was the most peaceful Id felt in a long time. And I felt like I could let go completely and let myself dissolve. And suddenly, when I let go, my body went "NO!" Opened my eyes, reached for my phone, and started distracting myself.

And I got it. My body just wanted to heal itself, before allowing me to awaken. If I forced myself to meditate too much it'd disrespectful to the body's healing journey, so I just let it heal on it's terms (btw there's a Matt's video ok this topic... very beautiful).

 

Sorry for such a long answer... just felt like sharing

much love

Edited September 25, 2017 by Martin123

[bigzbigi]

im year into K. My advice would be to cultivate it:

- meditation not to let ego wrap it. It will do its best  

- yoga -  K is a lot about flows of energy in body which in my humbe opinion are gases including master gas which is nitric oxide

- qigong - connecting breath with movement

- afirmations - with that extra neuroplascity you can reprogram your mind faster both good and bad way.  

[ThirdEyeSees]

@Martin123 thank you so much for sharing. It wasn't too long. I would love to hear anything about it. I feel like I research but I get lost in it sometimes. I kind of had that same feeling of letting go. I was listening to eckart tolle and even though I have read this and think this he said how do you know the future at all. I generally am always trying to figure out the universes path for me and  I realized I have no idea. And I realized how true that's that I do not know the future.  I panicked in the uncertainty, in realizing I def do not know. And then everything felt so present.  And it felt like my mind started going somewhere. And then I freaked and just started thinking "think about the future, think about the future" so I can get my thoughts back. My mind wasn't ready. 

 

@bigzbigi thank you!  I stopped doing yoga for a bit and just did it today because of your comment and will start it again. It does feel good!