How To Be More Happy?

[Wicked]

Hi guys,

Quick question. How to find happiness and optimism inside myself? I mean - I don't want it to be caused by external factors, like having a passion, girlfriend, whatever. I'm a 20 years old guy, regularly working out, trying to be the best version of myself. In a hope of achieving 'happiness'. But it's like a butterfly - I don't ever catch it. I think the problem is in my thought patterns - I rarely think optimistically or have positive expectations. How to fix this? I have a feeling, that my emotional 'baseline' is very low. 

Thanks!

[Shin]

Quote

In a hope of achieving 'happiness'.

The thing with happiness, is that it requires nothing  
When you don't mentally require anything to be happy, you're happy, it's as simple as that really.

Now how to practically do this ?
I think the most direct route would be to sit and do nothing, let's say, 1 hour a day for 90 days.
It will be horrible at first, but after a while you'll realize that you don't need anything to be happy, nothing at all.

Of course it won't be the orgasmic happy I got a new boyfriend/girlfriend and other stuff like that, but it will be constant and be with you whatever you do once you realize it.

[Wicked]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I think I didn't explain well what I mean. So - the thing is - I want to have more positive emotions. Because my baseline of emotions for everyday life is somewhere around 'neutral' to 'a little bit depressed/sad'. I don't know where it comes from, I think I wasn't like that few years ago. Gratitude worked for me for some time, but after some time I didn't feel much when I listed 3 things that I am grateful for.

What I recognized is - I feel much better when I think about the best possible future, when I try to smile even when I don't want to, generally when I expect the best out of every situation. It kinda makes me realize, that I might be a little bit down because of 'ordinariness' of life. I mean - it's like I forgot about my dreams, aspirations, goals, my best self. Reality numbed me down. I don't feel like I have hope for something very good in the future, even though I know logically there are many things that will be amazing. There's no excitement for anything in me, even though I have many interests. I feel dull most of the time. And I'm pretty sure it's a matter of mindset and mind control.

Do you have any suggestions for mini-habits or habits to implement, to get rid of that kind of mindset? 

[Shin]

14 minutes ago, Wicked said:

 

Do you have any suggestions for mini-habits or habits to implement, to get rid of that kind of mindset? 

A sport and a meditation daily habit.

[Wicked]

I'm doing that already.

[Nathalie]

@Wicked according to Paul Ekman who researches for years everything about emotions:

-they are per se neither good nor bad.. 

- they never last for a long time (just a few minutes)

- every single one is necessary for our human survival,

it is absolutly impossible to get rid of them even if you want to.. But.. what do you think is happiness? Do you think you can reach it running after some emotions and avoiding the others? Wouldn't it favor suffering more than ever?

[Wicked]

I didn't say I want to get rid of any emotions. I just want to change my 'baseline', my ordinary, day-to-day normal emotional state, which is very dull these days. It's not that I want to be positive 24/7.

[smd]

@Wicked Are you getting endorphin rushes from your workouts?   Are you doing a vegetarian diet?  Going veggie is an automatic mood elevator after a couple weeks.

If you get your endorphin kicks from working out & that "empty" all-day rush from a veggie diet, I'm not sure what else you would need to be happy.  Everything else is just icing on the cake.

[Max_V]

@Shin I bumped up my meditation time to 1 hour. Does that blend in with what you meant by do nothing or should I have a specific time for this aswell ?

I'm quite interested in this topic too. In my daily life I tend to rely on things such as masturbation, videos, thinking about stuff / conceptualizing, gaming as a means to get those 'high happy moments' 

Edited September 19, 2017 by Max_V

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Max_V said:

@Shin I bumped up my meditation time to 1 hour. Does that blend in with what you meant by do nothing or should I have a specific time for this aswell ?

I'm quite interested in this topic too. In my daily life I tend to rely on things such as masturbation, videos, thinking about stuff / conceptualizing, gaming as a means to get those 'high happy moments' 

I find myself more happy/at peace if it's distinct from meditation.

Meditation doesn't necessarily make you peaceful, it raise your awareness, but you can be full monkey mind sometimes (for your mind meditation is still doing something in the end).

Once you acclimate to really do nothing at all, you just do nothing at all.

[Max_V]

@Shin Alright that sounds interesting. Will give it a shot!

[The Monk]

@Wicked 

1.  Build a daily meditation practice. 
2.  List all the things you are grateful for in life.
3. Build a rich life for yourself. (one in which you have high quality friends/ hobbies and an amazing life purpose)
4. Self-actualize by planning how to, and taking the approach necessary to get there.