Moments

[Forestluv]

 

Have you ever balanced stones in nature? Not just a couple of easy stones. Something challenging. It takes a lot of patience, effort and concentration. Yet not only do the stones get balanced, one’s own mind and body becomes balanced in the process. If a mind tries to little or too hard, it won’t work out. There are many fine adjustments that are made. Then there is that quiet moment of “yes”. There is complete stillness and balance. 

Yesterday, I finished a 30 day at-home yoga series. I averaged about 1hr of yoga everyday and didn’t miss a day. For the first couple of weeks, it was all about trying to get the postures right at a crude level. I tried to mimic the instructor and would think “Is this how it’s supposed to be? What did she mean by ‘internally’ rotating the hip? Is my shoulder aligned correctly?”. There were a lot of awkward moments trying to get the posture and there was no flow between postures. Yet after three weeks, there was a shift. My body was able to enter the postures at a crude level and then insights of fine tuning began to arose. I starting noticing how the mind and body are connecting. I noticed how the mind and breath can influence balance. I noticed both dramatic and subtle efforts of mind and body to maintain balance. Then the idea of effort entered. The balance between letting go and making fine adjustments. . . It’s amazing how many fine adjustments the mind and body constantly make to stay balanced. Yet for an untrained mind and body those balance efforts are like “If she had only done this. If I had only done that. If this happens, then. . . I don’t want this, I want that. . . I feel uncomfortable, I want comfort”. . . This is at a very crude level and leaves to a constant cycle of tumbling rocks. It would be like in the above photo, trying to carelessly stock rocks over and over - and getting frustrated each time. This want allow the development of presence, patience and focus.

Last night, I was finishing the 30th day of Yoga. It ended with about 5min. of seated meditation, with palms up on knees and thumb and forefinger touching. There was awareness of many fine adjustments my mind and body was making to maintain balance. In the above photo, it would be somewhat easy to keep the stones standing if we maintained contact with our hands and made fine adjustments. The hard part is letting go of the stones and it’s still balance on it’s own with no effort from me. Similarly, it’s easy to keep ones balance while in this seated posture, if the mind and body is in contact making fine adjustments - it’s not like I’m going to flop over. The harder part is letting go and maintaining balance. Last night, it arose. I was the rocks in the photo. The body and mind just sat like those rocks. No subtle adjustments. No effort. Completely still and balanced. . . . There was a realization of “yes, that’s it” and an understanding of what it is. . . That realization is so important. It is worth more than reading, listening or theorizing hundreds of hours about the ISness of effortless balance. Getting a glimpse of being those rocks is a powerful realization of direct experience. The mind and body no longer needs to aimlessly wander around searching without knowing what it’s searching for. This doesn’t mean it’s easy to attain. Yet it’s now much easier to have direction and be able to be aware of “yes, that’s it”. . . Over the last week, there were about four moments of “yes, that’s it”. For example, flowing from one posture to another - in which they are no longer two separate postures. Rather, there was a fluidity. These moments of clarity, cannot be forced. They arise with practice, observation and balance between effort and letting go. 

[silene]

By coincidence I also did the first of a 30 day yoga series today (Yoga With Adriene on youtube but probably different to yours), I was intending to search for a Kriya Yoga channel for a beginner's introduction, but instead was drawn to Adriene's channel which I've used before when suffering with back ache. Thanks for your commentary on the yoga, describing the subtleties of the attention to mental & physical aspects, it sounds awesome. I'm considering whether to do the full 30 days, but will start with this week and see how I get on.

Edited April 28, 2020 by silene

[Harikrishnan]

Its a delight to read your posts. More More More please ❤

[Forestluv]

 

@silene Yes! I recently finished Adriene’s most recent 30 day series. She is so good at integration of mind, body, spirit. She connects so many dots in life. For me, doing yoga with her is much more than postures. It is meditation, exploration, growth and being. This week, I started doing the new 30 day series“Yoga with Tim”. Adriene is more about “find what feels good”, Tim is more about proper biomechanics.

I did this practice before bed last night. I brought me to such a wonderful space.

@Harikrishnan

[Forestluv]

I just got curious about a phenomena of “conscious choices” and “subconscious choices”. . . .

Of course in one context, there is no “chooser” and there are no “choices”, there are only happenings appearing Now. This is a profound realization, yet I’m observing and constructing here within a different context. . . 

All of us are aware of ‘conscious choices’ since they are conscious. We may be considering two different meal options for dinner and choose one. For now, I’m more interested in the ‘subconscious choices’. It seems a lot of people are curious about this. . . Why do I behave in ways that doesn’t serve me well? Why do I sabotage my own efforts? How can I become more aware of why I make bad choices, such that I can make better choices in the future? . . . These all have practical value in terms of personal development and well-being. Yet again, it’s not my strongest interest.

I’m more interested in observing what contracts the mind and what allows expansion of the mind. Yet this does not have a direct correlation with personal development and well-being. For example, there can be a dynamic in which a mind contraction is beneficial and the personal level and a mind expansion is non-beneficial.

There are many more dynamics that favor mind contraction over mind expansion. For most people, mind contraction is stabilizing and secure while mind expansion can be destabalizing and insecure. Most of us have consciously experienced resistance to expansion. It’s that defensiveness that arises to protect a contracted view. And there are all sorts of defenses. Later, we may think “Maybe there was something to that”. And then there is an energetic shift. There is an opening and a curiosity. Yet to explore freely, one needs to put down their bags of burden to allow space. And there are many forms of burdening bags.

What about those points in which there is an opportunity, yet we just can’t quite get to the point of curiosity, openness and exploration? How many times has something entered our life that could expand us, yet we didn’t catch it? There is an old saying “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. This is where “subconscious choice” comes in. I imagine there were hundreds of times, an insight was offered to me, yet I didn’t catch it. For various reasons. For example, suppose someone had an insight about energetic dynamics and my mindset was “I already know this.”. I then went on to correct the person about what energetic dynamics are. This person may say “You are intellectualizing this. It isn’t an intellectual thing”. . . I might then respond that she too is intellectualizing. That she is the one being defensive. . . A couple days later, I may remember the woman and think there was something odd about her - this would open a door up. Perhaps months or years later, I may realize “Omigosh, so that’s what she was talking about!” Yet many times, she is dismissed and I move on, contracted within my paradigm. . . . This doesn’t only occur with other people. Nature often reveals somethings that I don’t catch. As I observe more deeply, I am becoming more aware of lots of nuances - moments when I feel close to it, yet can’t quite get it. I try to stay with it, like trying to stay with Tree Pose in Yoga. . . It’s like almost being able to remember something from the past. Perhaps the name of a town you visited or the name of an old friend. You feel close, yet can’t quite get it. For most people, this is uncomfortable. Being in this state takes certain skills such as curiosity, relaxation, attention and patience. Yet it’s so worth it. 

One skill I’m working on it to recognize that “it”. It can be super subtle and involve a form of sensing the environment. Being in tune with an “it”. It’s easier when that “it” stimulates intrigue. For example, when I first joined the forum, Leo and I got into a chat about intelligence. I had a background in science and had a good understanding of intelligence. Yet there was some sort of “it” that arose when Leo wrote about intelligence. Curiosity arose. There was lots of resistance, yet curiosity can overcome a lot of resistance. With curiosity arose genuineness, which is a powerful combination. With genuine curiosity, it is much easier to let go of limitations, explore and expand. This allows space and an energetic orientation that attracts insights and being able to “catch” insights that were once out of reach. For example, after that chat with Leo, I was walking through nature asking myself “what the heck is intelligence?”. A looked around me in nature and asked if there were forms of intelligence present. New stuff appeared, yet I couldn’t quite catch all of it. A few days later, someone recommended the book “How to think like Leonardo DaVinci”. This book was filled with various forms of intelligence and my mind kept expanding.

The thing is, I encountered these examples of intelligence beyond my paradigm many many times in my life. Hundreds of thousands of times. Yet they never penetrated me, due to subconscious choices to filter it out. One skill I’ve been working on is to become a master observer without limiting filters. Part of this process is introspection of my subconscious filters such that what had been subconscious becomes conscious. This is a form of consciousness expansion. I’ve become aware of many subconscious filters, yet there are deeper ones and I don’t want to stay on the surface, patting myself on the back for the one’s I’ve identified. . . Yet to get to the deeper one’s I must grow. The deeper ones are still subconscious for a reason and my current conscious level and abilities are insufficient to access it. Psychedelics can be powerful, yet they also have drawbacks in where I want to explore. This will take deepening my baseline level of consciousness. One thing that is appearing for me now is developing empty concentration. 

One thing I’ve noticed is that in this zone, minor distractions are leveraged and become more important to clear. All those thoughts of life that tug me. These pre-occupations are like diving with floaties on the arms. If we only dive a few feet deep, the floaties don’t cause too much upward pull. Yet the deeper we go, the greater the upward pull. . . Fortunately, I have three months to focus on this if I choose (I’m not working for the next three months). As well, I want to continually simplify and empty - rather than creating new distractions of complexities and drama. 

[Forestluv]

Some contemplations during a nature walk:

1. When my mind is free to explore, it holds ideas so loosely that they can be lost. Almost like a dream state. Sometimes when I dream, I can’t quite hold on to the dream and recall it later when I wake up. It helps to write it down in a journal asap before it is lost. Some of my waking states are like this as well. They are dreamlike insights that appear, yet are often lost. Perhaps I should carry a small notebook with me in nature as to write them down.

2. I often point out to others how their attachments and identifications are limiting and prevent more holistic understanding. My mind generally holds ideas loosely, yet sometimes snags appear and I need to go through the process myself. It can be messy at times. Here is an example of my own process. . . Over the last week, I’ve been listening to Ayahuasca music from a community in Peru. A few years ago I did an Aya retreat with this community and have very fond memories. Each night as I’m doing yoga, I listen to the music and can get back to that essence of the retreat. This had led to a desire to return. A few days ago, I went online to check out how this community is doing. I discovered that the lead facilitator had recently passed away. A sadness arose. There was now a deeper resonance when I listened to him sing. I went online to learn more about him, his essence and teachings. I watched videos and read through his blog. . . Then I came across a blog that was very critical of him. This wasn’t just a disgruntled tourist. This woman had lived in Peru and done many Ayahuasca ceremonies with indigenous people. She also met the man in question. She definitely had a hard edge to her as she described how this man was not a shaman, Shipibo or Ayahuasquero Coronado. He was a city realtor who bought a lot of sacred land cheaply, appropriated culture and mistreated indigenous people. She met the man in question many times and lived with village folk. . . . Here is the process I went through. At first, there was dismissal. My mind created a binary construct in which the man was either a beloved spiritual teacher or a nefarious manipulator. There was attachment to my relationship with him as a beloved spiritual teacher. So my mind looked for ways to discredit her essay. For example, she mentioned that mother Aya strickened him with cancer for his deeds and took his life to remove his influence. This I could discredit, yet I wasn’t able to entirely discredit her. . . . Then there was a shift. . . I had been blind and did not see how this man was actually self-centered and harmed indigenous people and their culture. This recontextualized my entire experience and memories. I had been duped by this community. I never had an authentic Aya ceremony led by a true Shaman. I was taken as a sucker. I couldn’t even listen to the Aya music anymore. I couldn’t bear to hear the voice that I once thought was a door to spirituality, yet now know was a voice of trickery. . . Notice how my mind was attached/identified to one side of the duality and flipped to being attached/identified to the.other side of the duality. . . Yet this could not be maintained either. I re-read her blog post and read the comments. There was another woman that gave a very different account of this man and challenged the author. The two went back and forth - they each seemed to make good points. And I went back and forth with believing one or the other. . . Then while walking in nature yesterday, there was a letting go and a transcendent view emerged. This view was not attached/identified to any view. It was simply observing without any “either / or” constructs. And there was realization that both views are true. I could see how he was a genuine wise spiritual being and I could see how he behaved in ways that culturally appropriated and harmed indigenous people. And many new views arose as well. This wasn’t simply considering other points of view from my point of view. It was deeper. It was understanding various points of view as if each was ‘my’ point of view. With this is freedom.

3. Also during the nature walk, the idea of energy transformation arose. This is a skill I would like to develop. Let’s say I take a position and I’m debating/arguing with someone. There is an energy associated with ‘my’ view and wanting to get my view across as being right. If this energy wasn’t there, I wouldn’t care and would have no interest in debating and protecting the view. This same energy can be transformed. The first law of thermodynamics states that energy is neither created or destroyed - it is only transformed from one form to another. For example, it energy to protect a view can be transformed into energy of curiosity or energy of creativity. It isn’t easy to transform, yet now that I’ve realized this, I can now start working with it.

4. Memories of intellect, feelings and body.. . . Most of my memories arise as thoughts and images. For example, during my nature walk, I remembered a trip to Arizona. There were thoughts and images about the trip. The intellect in my mind is often dominant and creates and controls a narrative. Yet there are also feeling memories. These are harder for me to purely access. For example, there was remembering the feeling of climbing trees when I was a boy. There were no thoughts or images from when I was a boy. There was the remembrance of joy and freedom of climbing trees. I was feeling it right then. There was no construct of past and present. One reason fond memories are so cherished is because of how they make us feel. Yet unfortunately, most of the memory is taken and controlled by thoughts and images. At the expense of feelings memories occurring Now. I would like to develop this relationship with reality.

5. Our environment can be experienced through feelings, energetics, imagination and thinking. These are not mutually exclusive, yet the categories have value. For example, my mind is dominant on experiencing through the lens of thoughts and concepts. It misses out on a lot of what is actually happening Now. One of my current practices is to reduce the extent my mind becomes immersed in thought and concepts. To experience and perceive more through intuition, feeling and energetics. This can be very simple. For example, I was laying in a forest a few days ago. After an hour or so, there was a very subtle feeling of chill. It was like a breeze was gently tickling me with a brush of chill. I immersed myself into it and observed. Occasionally a breeze would pass by and the chill would appear. It was a pleasant feeling. I layed there for about another hour and observed my body gradually becoming cold. There was a desire to respond and start moving, yet I let go and got curious and observed. I observed how the body gradually gets cold and how it responds. I watched how my mind and body related to the process of gradually getting cold. Over a 1hr. period. It was fascinating. . . Yet I would not have noticed/experienced this if my mind was immersed in worrisome thoughts, stories, concepts etc. 

6. Transpersonal curiosity can lead to anxiety. Yesterday, I was driving down an old country road and saw a woman jogging on the shoulder. A thought arose “What would it be like to run over that woman? What would it feel like to experience that?”. There was then an impulse just to try it and see what happens. . . This is “transpersonal” in the sense that it was not placing personal value on myself or the woman. It would be like asking “What wold it would feel like to jump into that lake”. There is no concern for the welfare of my body or the welfare of the lake. This was a similar dynamic with the woman jogger. It was a transpersonal curiosity. Yet then the personal entered and induced a lot of internal tension. There was a thought of “OMG, that is awful!!! What if I actually did it?”. Then there was anxiety that re-enforced the thoughts. “OMG, I’m feeling anxious. I might actually do it. What if I can’t control myself”. Then anxiety transformed into panic. . . I ended up driving past the woman, yet it was a very uncomfortable moment being trapped at the interface between personal and transpersonal. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

16 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

It was simply observing without any “either / or” constructs. And there was realization that both views are true. And many new views arose as well. This wasn’t simply considering other points of view from my point of view. It was deeper. It was understanding various points of view as if each was ‘my’ point of view. With this is freedom.

 

This describes well the ongoing work on self. Using physical sensation to become more grounded in the body,,, Get out of my head,, which is often unpleasant. Gurdjieff said we "radiate" from the head brain but we "emanate" from the heart brain (purified emotional center). Emanating is so much more pleasant than radiating,,,

Forgetting Self and getting hooked by thought is a very common occurrence and sometimes observance, in my Inquiry . Self observation in which I repeatedly fail begins to create space in my inner world. Delicate machinery sometimes being observed by the witness,,,

Paraphrasing Almaas which struck me intensely at the time, years ago.-  'Reaching conclusions makes me miserable.' There's no judgement produced as long as I don't reach a conclusion.

Thank you for your Work, @Serotoninluv You articulate very well. Reading nuanced articulations will often resolve unrealized inner conceptual disparities for me.  ?? . It seems a majority of the Work for me is 'purifying the emotional center'. Observing, for instance how schadenfreude poisons my inner life. This produces in me a taste of that freedom you mention, when observed cleanly. That is, If I'm able to remain free of self criticism through this witnessing process.

I'm a mess. We're all a mess. Then suddenly, in an instant, we're free and innocent.

Forgive my periodic 'becoming too familiar '. ??‍?

 

[MsNobody]

Oh gosh, those moments are so precious, it opens portals inside my mind to new ways of seeing the world. So beautiful, thank you! 

What you call transpersonal curiosity I call collective consciousness, not sure if it’s the right wording, I notice it those days that whenever I see a fat person my first thought is “why is this person so fat? Why don’t they stop eating? That’s ridiculous” then I catch my mind and break it with “god bless you” and I’ve tried to correct it however whenever I try to fix it I just get even more trapped in the thought, then it’s MY thought, while before it was just flying around above my head, like a mosquito that passes by and goes away uninterested, but if I engage with it, it stays buzzing around me. 
I think that it could be the unconscious from the collective that comes to the surface and our job is just to let it come and go, but when we get the thought for ourselves then we are in big trouble because the darkness grows. 

Ive also noticed that a lot of our negative thinking comes from being trapped in those thoughts, the more you feed it the bigger it gets, and the only key against it is awareness, and really opening up the space for the thought to express itself and goes away, I feel like suicidal people have many thoughts like that, those days I was driving by a cliff and the thought came: What if I just drive off? What would it happen? It would be so fast, a little action with my hand and boom I’m dead” it’s like a little devil whispering in our ear. 

That being said, this could be just an explanation from my ego to not take responsibility, who knows? I like the exploration  

 
 

Edited May 10, 2020 by MsNobody

[The observer]

On 08/05/2020 at 11:01 PM, Serotoninluv said:

6. Transpersonal curiosity can lead to anxiety. Yesterday, I was driving down an old country road and saw a woman jogging on the shoulder. A thought arose “What would it be like to run over that woman? What would it feel like to experience that?”. There was then an impulse just to try it and see what happens. . . This is “transpersonal” in the sense that it was not placing personal value on myself or the woman. It would be like asking “What wold it would feel like to jump into that lake”. There is no concern for the welfare of my body or the welfare of the lake. This was a similar dynamic with the woman jogger. It was a transpersonal curiosity. Yet then the personal entered and induced a lot of internal tension. There was a thought of “OMG, that is awful!!! What if I actually did it?”. Then there was anxiety that re-enforced the thoughts. “OMG, I’m feeling anxious. I might actually do it. What if I can’t control myself”. Then anxiety transformed into panic. . . I ended up driving past the woman, yet it was a very uncomfortable moment being trapped at the interface between personal and transpersonal. 

I wish I could experience a similar transpersonal curiosity kind of thing. I think it can lead to all sorts of things, one set would be the whole emotional spectrum.

My mind does not often produce genuine innate curiosity. Nowadays, it's so peaceful, I can't even experience worry. Even when I have unpleasant thoughts, I accept them immediately, and they pass away. It seems like my 'acceptance muscle' got stronger over the last few years. Although, I do experience backlashes every now and then. But mainly it's the attachment to thought on the expense of perception is what causes that the most.

Sorry for journaling on your journal. I hope you consider your journal a transpersonal one ?

Edited May 11, 2020 by The observer

[Forestluv]

Here is a quote from the main forum that caught my attention and imagination. . . 

Who said life is Dream?  You only realize a dream is a Dream after you wake up from it and compare it to real life.

This is such a juicy statement. Notice the part “compare it to real life”. Here, there is an assumption that we already know what is real as a standard for comparison. If we are trying to determine what is real and imagined, we can’t start off with an assumption of what real is. That is what we are looking to discover!. . . What if “real life” was actually the dream? What if ‘sleeping dreams’ and ‘real life’ both have aspects of dream-ness and real-ness? How can we start off our exploration of what is real and what is dream, if we start off with the mindset that waking life is real and sleeping is dream? . . . There is no exploration. . . . Stop packing your bags. Trip canceled. . . 

Yet this also brings up how challenging this process is. For the mind to hold any thought or image, there must be contrast of ‘not that thought’ or ‘not that image’ for contrast. . . So, if there is no starting point, how can we begin? . . . What if the mind held thoughts and images very loosely. . . That may be a good place to start. . . 

Have you ever woke up from this life and found yourself in a bigger reality to contrast them? 

This question can have many different orientations. For example, if we held the position that sleeping time counts as dreams and waking time counts as real, this question Is now rhetorical and serves to defend our position. . . . Of course, we have never awoken from real life. It’s real life!! Again, this is rigging the game by making an underlying assumption that waking life is already real and therefore no more to awaken to. There would need to be a new real real life, yet this redundancy re-contextualizes the original intent of ‘real’ and the mind will not tolerate that. . . ? 

What we have here is a limited, contracted view. How are we going to experiment, explore and expand with such a limited view? I spent last summer working on lucid dreaming and I can tell you. . .with the above mindset, I would not have made 1% of the progress I did. For example, at times I can now enter lucid dreaming while awake. If I was limited to the above framework, this would not be possible.

This also brings up the groundless nature of realization. If we already had the contrast, we would already be realized. . . Realization involves a groundlessness without contrast. A formlessness from which form arises. . . It doesn’t work if we start with form because we already have form!

As well, one thing I’ve learned is that just because I can’t imagine it, doesn’t mean it is unimaginable and nonexistent. Time and time again, the unimaginable arises into existence. 

On 5/10/2020 at 7:38 PM, MsNobody said:

What you call transpersonal curiosity I call collective consciousness, not sure if it’s the right wording,  

Hmmm, I hadn’t imagined it like that before. It opens a door. . . 

“Transpersonal curiosity” was an attempt to capture the essence of genuine curiosity of the magnificence of reality (without the “me” part). I’ve never considered the idea of “Collective curiosity”. It has a different feel to it. . . Aspects of collective consciousness are super interesting to me and I’ve barely scratched the surface. . . I’ve now put out the question “What is collective curiosity?”. I have a vague idea, yet I don’t really know. Now that the question is floating out there with curiosity, the LOA can do it’s work. My hunch is that during the next few days, more will be revealed. . . 

On 5/10/2020 at 7:38 PM, MsNobody said:

 then I catch my mind and break it with “god bless you” and I’ve tried to correct it however whenever I try to fix it I just get even more trapped in the thought, then it’s MY thought, while before it was just flying around above my head, like a mosquito that passes by and goes away uninterested, but if I engage with it, it stays buzzing around me. 
 

I’ve experienced this mental dynamic many times and I think you describe it quite well. I would just add that the sneakiest judgements are the ones that are subconscious. They can be tough to identify and purify.

On 5/10/2020 at 7:38 PM, MsNobody said:

Ive also noticed that a lot of our negative thinking comes from being trapped in those thoughts, the more you feed it the bigger it gets, and the only key against it is awareness, and really opening up the space for the thought to express itself and goes away,

The dynamic of being trapped has been a re-curing dynamic for me. This includes times being trapped in thoughts. I agree that awareness and letting go are keys to clarifying it away.

20 hours ago, The observer said:

I wish I could experience a similar transpersonal curiosity kind of thing. I think it can lead to all sorts of things, one set would be the whole emotional spectrum.

Like all avatars, it seems each of us has assets and deficiencies for spiritual growth. If the environment is fertile, such assets and deficiencies can be revealed, utilized and developed. Personally, I would score high on curiosity and empathy, yet would score low on focus and consistency. 

20 hours ago, The observer said:

My mind does not often produce genuine innate curiosity. Nowadays, it's so peaceful, I can't even experience worry. Even when I have unpleasant thoughts, I accept them immediately, and they pass away. It seems like my 'acceptance muscle' got stronger over the last few years. Although, I do experience backlashes every now and then. But mainly it's the attachment to thought on the expense of perception is what causes that the most.

I haven’t considered curiosity in this context. I just realized that I’ve been subconsciously assuming my sense of curiosity was the same for everyone. It’s super interesting to me that people have different relationships with it. Thank you.

20 hours ago, The observer said:

I hope you consider your journal a transpersonal one ?

Hmmm. . . A transpersonal space to explore ideas, imagery, feelings, insights and energetics sounds wonderful.

@Zigzag Idiot ❤️ ? 

[Forestluv]

@Liam Johnson

I thought you might appreciate this guitar from 4:21 - 6:25. It was played live in concert during an unrehearsed improvisation. I find it beautiful and I’m curious about any impressions you may have. 
 

 

[Liam Johnson]

@Serotoninluv There are some very sweet ideas in there, thank you for the share! I've not come across these guys before. Though not really to my taste on initial viewing, I enjoy guitar players who play from the heart rather than from ego. And this one is definitely doing that  

[Forestluv]

@Liam Johnson Thanks for that insight. I hadn’t thought of it as playing from heart or ego. Could you link me to a sweet guitar that you’d consider played from the heart?

[Forestluv]

A few thoughts from yesterdays nature walk:

1. I’m debating whether to have a small journal and write things down. Or perhaps I can record it in my phone. The downside is it would break the flow. However, my mind becomes so fluid that there are no handles and things slip away. Almost like waking up from sleeping - I can’t recall and retain everything. Like a dream, the appearances seem clear at first and I’m like “Oh, I’ll remember this later. For now, I want to flow with it”. Then it dissolves away.

This aspect of creativity is new for me. For those that are creative artists. . .when you get in “the zone”, do you ever lose it If you don’t express it right then? Like with artwork, music or creative writing. Are you ever out somewhere, perhaps in nature and creative appearances arise almost like dream images, yet you can’t actually write it down or express it in that moment? Or trying to capture it would break the flow. What do you do?

2. Well it’s almost embarrassing how little I was able to retain. It was one of my deepest explorations during hours of hiking, yet now I feel like I only have a few fragmented scraps I retained. . . But at least I have something. . . I’ll add on more later if I can recall. . . 

Imagine the following thought flow. . . “What is the name of that small country in Peru? It’s near the Galápagos Islands. I think it starts with an E’. . . “Ecuador?”. . . “Yes, that’s it! Ecuador!”

Most minds would create an imagination of two people. One person is trying to remember the name of a country and the other person helps out, by saying their guess. . . Yet notice how I didn’t tell you if the thought flow was between two minds or within one mind. Imagine the thought flow happened between two people. Now imagine the thought flow happened within one person. These have very different essences. They feel different. It is a different relationship “I” have with the thought stream. The mind creates this. The mind creates this separation, this allows “me” to have an experience between “me” and “not me”. . . Yet what comes prior to the categorization of “my thoughts” and “your thoughts”? There is simply thoughts arising with no owner. There is simply the appearance of “What’s the name of that country?” . . . “Ecuador?”. . . “Yes, that’s it!”. . . This is a very different way of relating to reality.

3. I’m bummed that this was the only fragment I retained. This was actually the first appearance during the hike. I remember losing this one as my mind became lost. There were about 3 different streams that were lost. Then I backtracked to the last thing I could remember and recalled all three streams. I thought this meant it would go into long term memory, yet now it’s lost. Perhaps I will meditate and work my way from the beginning and see if I can recall anything. It is eerily similar to trying to recall dream fragments. This is one reason I call it lucid dreaming while awake. 

4. I picked up another fragment. There was a moment in which the essence of kindness was revealed. A pure kindness that collapse into absolute love. 

It’s hard to explain, because it wasn’t an intellectual thing. There was clarity about clean, pure kindness as well as contrast to contracted forms of kindness. For example, acting kind out of self interest or being kind within a particular social group of like-minded people. It was so clear and obvious how contracted this form of relative kindness is, yet is the kindness nearly all minds are contracted within. . . One image that arose was a young man complaining about how being a “nice guy” won’t get him dates or a gf. This isn’t kindness. And then relative, self-centered kindness collapsed and absolute kindness appeared. Unconditional kindness for everything. A person, an ant, a tree, the wind, sun and rain. Kindness to everything. Yet this was untenable and collapse into absolute love. I remember trying to draw a distinction between unconditional kindness and unconditional love and was unable to do so. 

[Liam Johnson]

@Serotoninluv With pleasure  two acoustic, two electric

(Thank you @Liam Johnson, I enjoyed those).

[Forestluv]

Another fragment recall from my lucid dream hike two days ago.

When the thought stream (mentioned above) appeared, there was simply a thought stream. There was no difference from a thought stream in my own mind or a thought stream between two people. Similarly, there was no difference between hiking solo or hiking with someone else. It’s the clearest I’ve experienced that.

Another thing. . . I’ve noticed how feelings are a better barometer of my relationship with reality than thoughts. I’ve heard this many different ways for years, yet there was a deeper “getting it” today. I’ve noticed how much more weight I’ve been giving to thinking, yet feelings are a better sensor. For example, the mind may have a realization that all perspectives are relative. There may be a sense of “Omigosh, reality is simply relative to the perceiver”. . . Then someone may say to me “That’s a low conscious idea. You still have a long way to go”. . . The mind may think “Well, that is their relative perception”. . .yet how does the body respond? Does the body still get annoyed? Will the body stay annoyed for hours afterwards? Will thoughts like “I should have said xyz. That would have shown them I’m at a high level”. These feelings would indicate that the realization is still at a surface level of intellectual thoughts and has not yet been embodied. 

[Forestluv]

Entanglement of Instability and Stability.

During my hike yesterday I came upon this stream. The path is above the stream. I put one foot on the planks and new there was no way I was crossing it. The planks were old and unstable - and it was too high up. Then I saw a fallen tree below as a method of crossing the stream. On the bank, I was stable yet when I started walking across the log, I quickly discovered that the log was unstable. Rather than crossing the stream, I decided to sit down on the log and sit with presence. Yet I couldn’t find a comfortable, stable position to sit. After a few minutes of moving my body around, I found a position of stability. If I sat motionless, it was as stable as sitting on my meditation cushion at home (I sat near the bottom right of the photo). . . Yet if I fidgeted around, the log would move, balance and instability arose. So I sat motionless. With right balance, it was effortless. I simply sat still. I then realized there was a ‘place’ of stability within instability. I was sitting completely still and stable within instability.

I then noticed the entanglement of instability and stability all around me. Notice the unstable planks that form the ‘bride’. These unstable planks are entangled with the stable earth on which they rest. Now move down to the walls of the ‘bridge’. Notice the instability of the walls eroding away. This is particularly evident with the loose boards protruding outward on the left side. (There is eroding earth that broke the boards. The unstable earth and wooden boards at the walls of the bridge are entangled with the stable earth that lies adjacent and below. As we go further down, the unstable flow of water is entangled with the stable banks. 

As well, the unstable / stable entanglement is relative to perception. To me, the old planks of wood felt very unstable. Yet to the breeze passing by, those planks were very stable. As well, to the ants crossing over, the planks are very stable. 

And. . . the unstable / stable entanglement is relative to time. As I sat on the log and observed, the wooden boards and earth were not moving. From this perspective, they appear stable. Yet if we did a 20 year time lapse video and watched it in 2min., there would be a lot of motion appearing as unstable. There wooden planks would be degrading, breaking and falling. The earth would be eroding and falling. 

Further, we can consider the entanglement of space. In the ultimate big picture, there is One entangled entity. Yet the entanglement dynamics are modified as we get closer together. In this photo, the wooden boards, earth, river, trees, birds and wind have close entanglement dynamics that they don’t with a bridge on the other side of the world. This photo shows an entangled ecosystem within a larger entangled ecosystem.

After about a 30min. sit, I continued on my way. I then noticed how I was entangled with space and time. I observed how I was entangled with the environment Here and Now. Both me and the environment influenced each other. Together we were One, influencing each other’s beingness and experience with a dance. . . As well, there was entanglement ‘outside’ of the Here and Now. Memories of hiking in California and Oregon arose. There was an appreciation for the beauty of Here and Now along with a nostalgia within imagery not here and now. And thoughts arose revealing that to which I am most closely entangled. 

The school semester ended weeks ago and the entanglement dynamics with students, grading, preparing classes etc. has been modified. The subjective experience is detachment, space and freedom from this entanglement. Part of this has come through de-conditioning the entanglement. Rather than being pre-occupied with work, I have been spending time with nature, yoga, contemplation and nonduality talks. These give rise to new forms of close entanglements. For example, I started doing yoga everyday for the past two months. During my hike, I realized how I was doing Yoga while hiking. It was all modified forms of Yoga. A whole new experience with my body arose. As well, each day I’ve been watching a Deepak Chopra series. In the series, he describes infinite creativity, entanglement and synchronicity. I’ve had very strong resonance with his transmission and this modifies my relationship with reality. For example, the experience of entanglement I observed and experienced with the bridge was also entangled with Deepak Chopra. . . This is not merely intellectual construction. Here, intellectual appearances are integrated with imagination, creativity, knowing, sensation, connection, intuition and being. All entangled together. 

[Forestluv]

                                Sacred Inner Space.     Curiosity.      Exploration.        Trust.

A theme for May has been creativity. I just engaged in contemplation / meditation on creating inner sacred space.

As I sit looking over the backyard, a cat walks by. She is so curious and engaged. She has no agenda or expectations. She has Is not distracted by worrisome thoughts or figuring things out. She is free and at one with the moment and surroundings. She is a master explorer. All of her senses are in-tune with the environment. She is focused and attentive as she observes and interacts with her surroundings. She moves with exquisite balance and grace. She is a sage, a buddha, a master. . . She sees me observing her. She becomes startled and directs all her attention toward me. She seems to ask “Is he friend or foe?”. Can she not sense that I appreciate and love her? She mindfully backs away as if I am a potential threat. She seems uncertain. I wonder if she has friends. . . It seems that she too has self-protective mechanisms. Perhaps she has been conditioned to be cautious and wary. Perhaps the boys next door chase her. . . . She doesn’t trust me and this saddens me. Yet it is not personal. She is not in-tune with my intentions. As she walks away, she keeps one eye on me. I smile and send an intention of well-being today. . . How might we develop mutual trust? Perhaps I can offer her some food. Or maybe I’ll put my hand forward as a gesture to connect. Maybe I will open my patio door and invite her to enter. Yet I don’t want to have a self-centered orientation. She may not be interested in connecting. She may be more interested in her exploration. Or perhaps we will like each other, experience together and learn from one another. Either way, I want to have a pure intention. To simply love and appreciate her beingness.

[Forestluv]

Heart’s Mystery

When you let go of fear
The truth will appear
So simple and clear

There's a feeling inside
So deep and so wide
So open and free

When love is revealed
All beings are healed
So naturally

Let your heart show the way
Forever to stay
In this circle of friends

Let your heart be your guide
To lead you inside
Where love never ends

And when love overflows
You can only let go
And be swept out to sea

This journey will end
Where it started, my friend
In the heart's mystery

[Forestluv]

Have you ever been in a relationship in which the other person didn’t “get” you? They may have been able to repeat your words back to you, yet they didn’t “get” you. They didn’t understand you and what you are about. 

Have you ever been in a relationship or have a friend that “gets” you? You don’t have to give long explanations or explain things five different ways. Sometimes just a few words or a facial expression and you know they “get it”. Isn’t that wonderful? 

What factors would help us “get” another person? Here are a few ideas:

1. Common experience. If two people share a common experience, they have a better chance of “getting” each other. I grew up in New Jersey in the 1980s. People that grew up in New Jersey in the 1980s will have a better chance of knowing what that’s like. . . . I was in a village in Honduras when the pop singer George Michael died. I tried to explain to the Honduran villagers what it was like to grow up in New Jersey in the 1980s the how George Michael influenced that ‘essence’. What is was like to go to the diner with your gal for a sundae and have George Michael’s “I want your sex” playing on the jukebox as you flirt. The Honduran villagers had no clue what the fuck I was talking about. Then I sent a one word text to my high school gf “GiGi’s” and I knew she would “get it”. Not just a specific diner or memory, the whole essence. The vibe, the energy, the ITness of it all.

2. Absence of self identity and attachment. If my mind is immersed in my opinion, being right, being understood, my wellness,, analysis , debate, looking good etc., I have a much lower chance of “getting” another. Letting go of all that stuff allows space. Have you ever been in a movie theatre and “lost yourself”? You become so immersed in the movie character, that you “get” her or him - even if you haven’t had that specific experience. It’s like you know what they are experiencing and know why they are doing what they are doing. When the movie ends, you “return” to yourself.

3. Immersion. Immersing oneself with another increases the chance of “getting” it. For example, I’ve immersed myself in villages in Central and South America. I lived with locals and learned Spanish well enough to communicate. There were many moments of “Aaaahhhhh, I get it”.

4. Imagination. Some people are better than others at imagining what someone’s else’s experience and perspective is like. For example, there have been a lot of communities this week that have torn down confederate statues. Intellectually, I get it. Those statues are symbols of slave traders and oppression. There are many people that can’t even get that! There are many people criticizing them as barbaric “mob”. They can’t even get the most basic element. . . .So last night, I was watching some videos of community members hitting statues with hammers and pulling them down with ropes. There was no judgement filters of ideology. I just watched and observed. Then I started feeling the people and the community. I started getting a sense of what it’s like for them.  And then there was this moment that I “got it”. It was like I was living there with them and knew what it was like. It was feeling all the relief, joy, unity and love. It was so beautiful and tears filled my eyes.

5. Natural ability. I think some people have the genetics and prior childhood conditioning to have skills in this area. 

6 Psychedelics and edible cannabis. I don’t know about others, yet these substances send my empathic abilities through the roof. I can’t tell you how many “I get its” that have arisen. Schizophrenia, shamans, American Indians, abused children, psychopaths, forced feeding, solitary confinement, paranormal and on and on . . .