Relation Between Enlightment And Depersonalization?

[Emerald]

This video is by Shinzen Young about the relationship between Enlightenment and Depersonalization Derealization Disorder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA

 

[Primeval]

On 2/25/2016 at 4:21 AM, StephenK said:

I developed depersonalization when I was 16 years old -- I'm 26 at the moment and it is still with me. I spent years trying to figure out the "what/why/how/when" of the situation with little success until recently. However, it is not all doom and gloom. Over the years, there are definitely a few things that I am certain of (in my case, at least):

1) Depersonalization is definitely the byproduct of an anxiety disorder.

2) Depersonalization is not a form of ego-death -- it is the opposite.

I remember when my depersonalization first started: I was going through a really traumatic time in my life: self esteem issues, abandonment, emotional trauma, bullying etc. I remember lying in bed one night with my eyes closed, trying to escape the hell of my situation. I searched in the empty void of my mind for something that was 'me' -- I couldn't find it -- all I saw was emptiness; there was no 'me' to be found. This is when an utter dread filled my mind and when the depersonalization started its engines.

I want to reiterate one thing though: depersonalization is not the result of the death of the ego -- in fact, its the complete opposite: its the ego recoiling and contorting itself in the face of the majesty of non-self.

Generally, two things can happen when faced with non-self: either ones' ego gives in and accepts its void nature (this is healthy spiritual development), or the ego begins to falsely assign 'fear/dread/depression/anxiety/hopelessness' to the void. In depersonalization, the ego falsely turns emptiness into a monster and lives in a perpetual state of running away from this contorted perception of emptiness. I'ts kind of like a child running through the woods, thinking that shadows are chasing him/her. 

The most important thing that I have personally learnt is that depersonalization is just the result of a really sick, ill, suffering ego that does not accept its true nature. So when I meditate, my depersonalization is as much an object of meditation as my breath is -- its all just mind-stuff that is in a constant state of flux. As for dissociative disorders in general, I think that the issue is that one believes that somehow a 'self' has been lost, while the reality is that it (the ego) has just become contorted and sick.

 

 

Thanks for this, this is great! I also became DP'd at 16, (I'm now 29). At the time I had been reading philosophy books and working on my self esteem. I reached a High Point that lasted a week, then I had a breakdown. I've come to see it much the same way as you have illustrated here. I look back and realize that I had actually been building up my Ego. And then when I had built my Tower, Reality humbled me by destroying it. And instead of accepting the futility of Ego, it backfired and I fell into this DP. It's funny how feeling like you don't have an identity, and despairing, actually becomes a new self-identity.

[Kelley White]

On 2/23/2016 at 10:09 AM, lucasgloves said:

 Yeah but I mean I don't know what should I focus in, I remember one of Leo's videos when he say something like enlightenment is the last step in the stairway, first you need to get rid of the small problems, like anxiety and fear. So I'm kind of mixed between doing this spiritual work, mindfulness and all, or working on fear and anxiety which I sure do have a lot or something else...

@lucasgloves  I found this tool yesterday and I love it.  I think  you will really like it too @lucasgloves.  It literally puts things in perspective.

http://www.pixelthoughts.co/

[Kelley White]

On 2/26/2016 at 0:06 PM, Emerald Wilkins said:

This video is by Shinzen Young about the relationship between Enlightenment and Depersonalization Derealization Disorder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA

@Emerald Wilkins  Interesting video, thank you for sharing this.   I found it helpful.   I love how he calls it the evil twin, it does seem to feel that way.  Its why I use the Looking Glass Metaphor for explaining how this feels.   Thank you.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Kelley White said:

@Emerald Wilkins  Interesting video, thank you for sharing this.   I found it helpful.   I love how he calls it the evil twin, it does seem to feel that way.  Its why I use the Looking Glass Metaphor for explaining how this feels.   Thank you.

You're welcome.  I'm glad that it was helpful.

[Flicker_boy]

Maybe thats the ego throwing everything away in order to not identify with the situation, because of whatever negative beliefs about it(been there, done that). Here's a juicy excerp from Bentinho Massaro you may enjoy:
    "The Neti Neti Meditation has a potential trap when misused by an unbalanced entity, that out of fear of feeling further thoughts and emotions of a potentially hurtful nature compensates by leaning too far in the direction of separation from things, thoughts, feelings, and other-selves—to the point where one becomes, in a sense, disembodied from the well-rounded abundance of being connected to all-that-is, appreciative of all-that-is, and thus vibrating in harmony with all-that-is....As you explore Neti Neti’s purpose ...it is tempting to use this newfound freedom as a “stick to beat smaller sticks with.”I urge you to refrain from this type of behavior, and to not take your Neti Neti too seriously; or if you do, to Neti Neti that seriousness as well, and see that you are not the fearful extremist you are pretending to be...I also encourage you to not take it on as a life philosophy, for when used as such, it is extremely flawed and leads to imbalance. This imbalance can at any point in one’s process be corrected by feeling forgiveness/love to one’s self and the things one rejects as “not being who one truly is.”"

If this is the case, love, forgiveness, acceptance and work on your beliefs can be a gateway to balance it out

Edited March 14, 2016 by Lorenzo Engel

[Flicker_boy]

"Wisdom tells me I'm nothing. Love tells me I'm everything. Between the two my life flows" Nisargadatta Maharaj

[Primeval]

Quote

 

This imbalance can at any point in one’s process be corrected by feeling forgiveness/love to one’s self and the things one rejects as “not being who one truly is.”"

If this is the case, love, forgiveness, acceptance and work on your beliefs can be a gateway to balance it out

 

This is exactly what is I'm realizing is the key to recovery! It's good to come across some confirmation! I've been having this for a week now...

[Flicker_boy]

8 minutes ago, Lha Bho said:

This is exactly what is I'm realizing is the key to recovery! It's good to come across some confirmation! I've been having this for a week now...

cool dude, love on!

[Kelley White]

On 3/14/2016 at 2:30 PM, Lorenzo Engel said:

  "The Neti Neti Meditation has a potential trap when misused by an unbalanced entity, that out of fear of feeling further thoughts and emotions of a potentially hurtful nature compensates by leaning too far in the direction of separation from things, thoughts, feelings, and other-selves—to the point where one becomes, in a sense, disembodied from the well-rounded abundance of being connected to all-that-is, appreciative of all-that-is, and thus vibrating in harmony with all-that-is....As you explore Neti Neti’s purpose ...it is tempting to use this newfound freedom as a “stick to beat smaller sticks with.”I urge you to refrain from this type of behavior, and to not take your Neti Neti too seriously; or if you do, to Neti Neti that seriousness as well, and see that you are not the fearful extremist you are pretending to be...I also encourage you to not take it on as a life philosophy, for when used as such, it is extremely flawed and leads to imbalance. This imbalance can at any point in one’s process be corrected by feeling forgiveness/love to one’s self and the things one rejects as “not being who one truly is.”"

If this is the case, love, forgiveness, acceptance and work on your beliefs can be a gateway to balance it out

Awesome stuff right there @Lorenzo Engel.   Thank you for sharing.

[Flicker_boy]

glad to participate @Kelley White

[Kelley White]

@Lorenzo Engel