Self-sabotage

[starsofclay]

A few months ago, I came to the realization that I have been self-sabotaging pretty much my whole life, in various levels. It seems to have exploded when I purchased my own business 2 years ago, but perhaps it just made me more aware of it than actually increasing. I tell myself not to sabotage anymore, but I keep doing it, when "I'm" not looking. Why do I do this? How do I break the cycle? Is this ego? Does everyone go through this to some degree, or is it tied to a type of mental condition? (chronic self-sabotaging, not just occasional) 

I thought that the more I became aware, it would decrease... but it's hard to tell sometimes. 

[egoeimai]

Its the separation of the ego, which at first is healthy, but then the separate self inside you is battling to the truth self. Thats what it is pretty much.  

And what to do?  

Actually I don't know, and I don't wanna bs you. 

[starsofclay]

@Mad Max @egoeimai Thanks, yeah I agree, that makes sense. My ego is struggling for it's own version of survival.  Waking up is fun, isn't it?