What If?

[Gabor Bardosi]

Hello
Thanks for having me!

I'm that toxic friend who do you don't want to really know. Forcing my "science" over to my friends who don't even in that game. A Self-repeat my EX left me or my father spoke down to me like a secondary, garbage. Someone who is into multiple science but in the real life just a worker...

Where do I start? I saw many if not all the videos and I start to see the bigger picture. I have way too much "I" statement in my life by the way. Also I'm a self educated english speaker from Hungary.

Edited September 6, 2017 by Gabor Bardosi

[SFRL]

@Gabor Bardosi ok that's all the bad. So tell us some good things about yourself. 

 

[Gabor Bardosi]

Mostly realible. I have good relationship with my mother. Not so much with my father.
I don't like to be mock(ed?) It is rarely when i use that tactics. Practically i don't do things to others which i don't like to experience from others. I have no problem with how i look. Because in ballance of my weaknesses I'm often full with myself. I'm loyal to my friends and to all who is not a toxic in my family.

Your request seems to me as a good start for a guideline to be followed. 

My mother has ballanced opinion about me as much as a mother can have. She says that I deserve better. I am an only child. At least 2 things in order in my life. Where I work and my PC ofc. I am a master procrastinator at home. Only the shame is my motivation when i know i will have guests in advance.

I'm looking for a practice I can focus on. One at a time period. Focusing on to much simultaneously made things even worse. Non stop reminder of "how to behave" and questiong myself. My self talk is terrible with wictim mentality. Constant blame of myself and my sorroundings equaly for almost every move i take. I can not forgive myself fort the mistakes i have done in my romantic relationships. I'm needy but always giving more care and time than i get in return. Helping some of my poor friends but not ashamed to take from the richer. A beer or a pizza I mean not a criminal act.

My neediness is handled nowadays with more and less results.

Edited September 7, 2017 by Gabor Bardosi

[SFRL]

@Gabor Bardosi

Ok. So the impression I am getting is that you are procrastinating behind your computer and you eat a bad diet like pizza and beer? Am I correct? 

I think the first thing you need to do is unplug your computer, take it to your mother's house and park it there in the basement for months. 

Do you have a smart phone? That's all you need. 

You just tell your mom: "I think I should not spend as much time behind the computer, can I store it at your place?"

Your mom will be happy with the change so she will say yes. 

Now you cut out the computer and there will be a big void. You will experience a little extensional crises. From there you start building up a better life. 

 

Edited September 8, 2017 by SFRL