My Path To Enlightenment

[How to be wise]

I've started contemplating about the self, and will be posting insights that I get during the contemplation.

Today I was contemplating the question 'Why do I think that I exist?'. Obviously, my first excuse was that I am seeing my room, feeling my body, hearing sounds. If I didnt exist, then I wouldn't know that I was feeling hungry, or that there was a chair in front of me. 

But then, I asked myself: 'do I really have to exist for my experiences to happen?'. Do I really have to exist for 'me' to be seeing that chair.

I then realised a life-long belief that I was holding, which was that when I am looking at a chair, there must be 'somebody' who is perceiving that chair.

I am now asking myself whilst looking at that chair, 'what is really happening right now?'. Is it really the case that 'I'm looking at the chair', or is something else happening? 

I'm guessing that some more beliefs will have to be dropped during my next contemplation.

Edited September 5, 2017 by How to be wise

[How to be wise]

I just realised in today's contemplation session that the illusion of a self is supported by the belief that 'I am looking at a chair', and 'I am feeling hungry', even though with some investigation it becomes obvious that there is no proof of that. 

[How to be wise]

In today's contemplation session, I was focusing on the sensations of my body, and I asked myself: 'What's the proof that I'm feeling that?' It might sound obvious that when you have an itch on you're arm, 'you are feeling that itch'. But with some observation, you will realise that there isn't one proof that that is true. To further inquire, I'm thinking about contemplating the question 'What is a feeling?', although I think it'll take me a while to answer that. 

[How to be wise]

I realized that the reason (or one of the reasons) why I identify with the body is because I think that my bodily sensations occur on my body. So today i was contemplating the question 'where do my body sensations occur', and my mind was still sure that it was occurring on the surface of my body, until I closed my eyes and kept contemplating that question.  And all of a sudden, my mind wasn't so sure anymore, because without my visual field and my mental images of the body, I couldn't tell where the sensations where occurring. It will be quite interesting to find out what is going on there, because it's a very deep illusion that almost no one  ever questions. 

[How to be wise]

In today's contemplation session, I carried on asking myself 'why do I think that my body sensations are occurring on my body?' Then I realised that it was because I thought that the feeling on my arm, for example, has the same shape as my arm. I then asked the question 'why do I think that my feeling has a certain shape?' I then got the answer, 'because my feelings are flowing through my arm', the same way water flows through a tube. I then asked the question 'what makes me think that my feelings are flowing through my body?' I then realised some thing big, which was: the thing that made me feel like my feelings are flowing through my arms and legs was itself a feeling. I also realised that my thoughts was also connecting my feelings to my body. My body is just made of colours and shapes, with the rest being bodily sensations. These sensations have nothing to do with the visual aspects of the body. My mind was linking the two together, through my thoughts. And specifically, the linkage was between the mental images of my arms and the bodily feelings. I became aware of yet another illusion which my mind was creating. I haven't yet broken the illusion fully, but I believe I'm on my way there. 

[How to be wise]

The past month I've done self-inquiry by the observation method instead of using my thoughts to contemplate. I personally prefer using my thoughts to contemplate, but the question is does it produce enlightenment. I will have to research that question a bit more, because if I can become enlightened through trying to generate insights directly, then I will return to that method.