Ridiculous Primal Urges After 1 Month No-fap

[Falk]

So, i NEED HELP!!

since my sex-life in the last years has been mooving on a scale from miserable to non-existent, i decided a while ago to stop watching porn, which kinda works out well with minor draw-backs. now i also started to stop fapping at all and this is where my problem showed itself:

THe first weeks i felt so good, so energized , i didn´t need to sleep , i felt like i got superpowers .... then serveral weeks in i´ve started to fantasice about various scenarios like in a day-dream, especially after seeing attractive girls .... usually very primal scenarios where i can impregnate the women, concensual and non-consencual. I started to fall back into watching a lot of creampie-related porn and now even hentai-over-the-top material where you can see women with hyper-fertility-traits like giant boobs , insane hip/waist-rato etc... (you might have seen this shit) getting fucked and impregnated ,in some videos you can even see x-ray depictions where the man shoots his cum in her womb and shit.... all the primal MOST animalisitc fantasies start to get sooooo strong since i´m not regularly fapping anymore. AHHHH!!

Anyone know something about this? What could be the reason? Is this normal? WHy am i so obsessed with impregnating women seemingly? (BUT only in a fantasy , i don´t really want to have the responsibility of having to raise a child ...at least not yet)

I definetly know that NO women could or would want to live up to those fantasies and that i am totaly screwing myself up with this hyperstimuli-conditioning.

It starts to affect me in my reallife as well , the other day, one of my tinder-matches , who was by far one the best looking girls i got mathced with in a long time ... i actually made a joke to her about how i would like to knock her up (because i was so horny and couldn´t see that it is not funny at all) .... needless to say she reversed the match after that ....   FUCK!  i feel like such an idiot!!!

It is not fair!  WHy are women so beautiful and why do i feel like i want them, but i can´t access them in the no-effort way i am used to when i watch porn.

I am preparing for a LOOOOOOOOONG journey of recovery from this shit...

WIsh me the best & i´m happy to get some ideas.

[harisankartj]

@Falk This is going to sound hypocritical since I too used to be addicted to porn and fap regularly (still do to some extent).

But I read somewhere that sex energy had to do with gender-identity. Have you heard of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa ? In the wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramakrishna) it's quoted 

Quote

 

Ramakrishna proved that the gender identity of the body could be conquered. A disciple Mahendranath Gupta quotes the Master as follows:

How can a man conquer passion? He should assume the attitude of a woman. I spent many days as the handmaid of God. I dressed myself in women's clothes, put on ornaments and covered the upper part of my body with a scarf, just like a woman. With the scarf on I used to perform the evening worship before the image. Otherwise how could I have kept my wife with me for eight months? Both of us behaved as if we were the handmaid of the Divine Mother.[36][37]

 

 

You probably don't have to go that far ! I think it's a matter of consciously un-wiring outdated stimulus-response ... 

Inquiry ,contemplation into it hopefully will trigger insights that change your experience permanently. Not sure about it though 

[123456789]

Welcome to the Heterosexual Club?

[ajasatya]

@Falk when you stop wasting your sexual energy with porn and masturbation, there will be a lot of sexual energy accumulated. you need to use it wisely. one good choice is using it awake your spine.

i sincerely wouldn't have done it without the practice of hatha yoga, since it's one of the very purposes of yoga.

[Intimidator]

Lol this guy said he was able to do 6 hour strong determination sitting but he can't hold a mere sexual urge  lol

[The0Self]

Meditation troubles, I can understand. I can give a whole lot of advice on that — more than practically anyone can imagine, actually. Sexual troubles, though? Foreign. I was incompetent sexually, then I slowly became competent, after awakening. After that it was just second-nature I guess. Nothing that can be taught. Everything after true awakening is just dream stuff. I am a fairly good looking guy though, so results may differ. In fact, regrettably, I am a really good looking guy (8-9+/10), confirmed by many dear girls and many dear gay friends. Even so, that should tell you something. Even good looks don’t matter. Not one bit. Maybe none of you suspect this, but very good looking guys get rejected if they’re overly neurotic, overly sensitive, or overly thoughtful. It happened to me. I can’t even explain to you the existential anxiety I experienced freshman year of college. Holy crap if I wasn’t as experienced with psychedelics, I might have killed myself. When you awaken, though... it’s all over.

[Rolo]

3 hours ago, modmyth said:

 a nutshell.

 

[The0Self]

5 hours ago, modmyth said:

This thread in a nutshell.

lol I had a gf once who had a super Christian roommate. One day, I went to her place and every Dalí painting in the house was covered with taped construction paper. The roommate taped up every Dalí painting because she thought they looked demonic! Lol, what a delusional psycho.

[Potato People King]

@The0Self To be honest, I see how the picture can give you kind of demonic vibes. I have seen some grimoire depictions of demons and I think it would pass as a demonic representation, if one wants to see that in it. But to tape up pictures? Come on... That is crazy. But still better than to crush them with sledgehammer...

 

 

[The0Self]

@Potato People King Yeah. My girlfriend's reaction was just to roll her eyes. I, on the other hand, had a proper laughing fit over it. Her roommate eventually moved out because she suspected my girlfriend of not loving Jesus enough, simply because she didn't talk about him all the time.

[The0Self]

@modmyth Yeah I would imagine she'd probably somehow be offended by that painting, seeing as how she covered this one up with construction paper because it was just too horrifying to look at: