My Journey Through Life

[Amit]

12 July Insights:

• With people, the root cause is the fear of the void. Upon that you project yourself in them and it makes it worse. So the solution is meta-analysis. 
• No perspective is whole, It might be difficult to hold a thought that's not logically consistent with your beliefs and assumptions, yet it might have greater truth than your subjective truth. It's not always possible to explain an insight into language,.

Edited July 12, 2020 by Amit
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[Amit]

Despite being a loser, I feel so superior to everyone else, for my sense of being the only thing there is in the world, I don't know how to describe it, but I know nobody can know this, such a personal experience it is for me... 

No one else have ever experienced it ever, I feel like I am the only thing, the God and I've let lose of my creation, this is not something I'm feeling after leo talks about it, but when I was very young around 6 yrs old.. 

I have glimpses of the past memories, where I used to wonder why this is only me always Circling around never knew that this will always be the case, like I'm the pivot around which everything revolves, Nahm called me maglomaniac for this, but I really so strongly feel that I am an avatar of the God, I still don't know why I've taken this human form, and even doesn't have any super power yet, I've wondered about it too since I was young, My whole life has been into that exploration till now. 

I've still to realise that thing, I sense there is a lot going to happen ahead.

[Amit]

I was wondering about my life purpose, I love philosophy and psychology, but I chose IT to be my profession despite having a civil engineering degree. Being a very curious person, I like to explore and go into depth of the things, and without having a sense of purpose it's easy to distract myslef in unknown lands without creating anything at all. 

I just had a insight about the whole of knowledge and how it's interconnected between discipline, computer science have it's origins in electronics, but it is more of a meta science like maths, philosophy than concerning with a specific area. Like mechanical, civil and such engineering, medical science and tech focus on different aspects of our lives, even though they are also get derived from the first principle, but cs is more meta than them. CS is about organization and storage of information and building communication systems but philosophy is about deriving truth, so philosophy is the absolute meta, and decision maker, and comes before any kinda tech. 

ML systems can help you only when you have a meta system, on top of that only it can help, else it will not help in decision making. 

So I'm definitely fascinated by deriving truth, but it's important to explore the already derived truths, and using that to build better information systems for humanity. 

[Amit]

There is so much to say, but I don't want them to read, so write it and then delete, page is still blank.. All my desires are sufferings in disguise, actually I don't want it, it's just the biology that's manifesting in desire. 

It's the same for everyone, and males are chasing females all over the place, why should I be the same. No I won't, I will just observe myself and note it down, let's see where will it lead. She was so pure and beautiful, everyone of them is, that's biology, that's not what I want, let them follow my work, I don't want to force it into their throats, I want them to come get it themselves, if it helps. 

I feel good around her, although it's an ego thing, but she gives a different perspective, I would prefer her than a male for such a empathetic perspective, it's coming from the feminine, I had to have that, but it should be naturally. 

I do just nothing, not even desire, having a desire without acting on it makes it worse, so I let go of the desire, but somewhere in the corner of my heart, the desire keeps manifesing, it seems natural but will try to let go of it and focus on the God. 

Focus on giving it from a higher point of view. 

Edited July 19, 2020 by Amit
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[Amit]

https://open.spotify.com/track/3n5KN8FDe1sFC0O9V5ZBha?si=F0X4CpcESJSjZjQ5jOQz-Q

https://open.spotify.com/track/4J56uEZtgVjuTi27Rvclag?si=e-LTj9B-SNiIPRrTv-5Klg

Edited July 21, 2020 by Amit
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[Amit]

https://open.spotify.com/track/3aGibUHhQyBsyumYHylw0K?si=33GduqI8R82HwpqEBChr7g

https://open.spotify.com/track/2P3SLxeQHPqh8qKB6gtJY2?si=eF3xbbARQBCA-v27YR1h3A

Edited July 20, 2020 by Amit
add

[Amit]

https://open.spotify.com/track/7KXjTSCq5nL1LoYtL7XAwS?si=cHsNeIJrSZmY0015AfVpLQ

https://open.spotify.com/track/6SwRhMLwNqEi6alNPVG00n?si=NWjTHoYYQXGKbNFYPqASFQ

Edited July 20, 2020 by Amit
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[Amit]

It was too tough to get back to the home, but finally it's coming true, multiple circles are completing at once. The circle of my being passionate about my job, my art, I'm loving it. No more chasing around for sex, it's done. The only thing to do is the job and only environments I would be in is my family, my work and self-actualization. The most difficult thing is to balance between these. Other things are a distraction. So if I want to get some distraction, come to self actualization, only social media I would use is this forum. 

I love programming, I love how we abstract information from the real world and build such huge systems. How we connect people with this technology. It's transformative, I love doing this for my purpose. Keep buried deep into it to dive the depth and get new insights instead of mental masturbation, I am creating something that's useful to people and also I don't have to worry about survival. It's fun, what else would you want from life. 

[Amit]

 

Edited August 16, 2020 by Amit

[Amit]

 

This is love

 

Edited August 16, 2020 by Amit

[Amit]

Love, well that's what I was craving for and she came to my life.. Made me Unbreakably strong, that's what I wanted my whole life, someone to love me so deep that it gives me ultimate freedom from all the suffering... Fear getting attached and lose my center but it makes me even more strong, the strength such that everyone just bow down unconditionally... Love so immensely, that it kills me completely... What should remain is the God, everything else just burns away, nothing left, infinity is so profound... She wants to grow into me and I want to let her be me, I become her amazing energetic voice and she become my purpose... I forget who is me and who is she.. Even after we're so far, we think from each others mind... Fear of losing shakes our dream and now we wonder alone, we come to the reality plane to take action from that real point and grow more towards each other and then we meet again feeling even deeper into the hearts of ourselves... It becomes so confusing to untangle that who was who to begin with... Or are we always the one

[Galyna]

@Amit

5 hours ago, Amit said:

It becomes so confusing to untangle that who was who to begin with

 

You are a deep ocean with limitless knowledge, you are the growth. You are the learning experience. You are the creator and  art at the same time.

I am trying to analyze it with logic and every time I approach it a bit closer, it’s gone even further.

On the surface you are a regular person, yet phenomenal miracle of the divine Creation.

Your depth is fathomless, no matter how hard I try to study you,  you are always a mystery, you are a secret. You are a puzzle, you are a crossword. You are the burning potential! 

just wow....

 

Edited August 29, 2020 by Galyna

[Amit]

@Galyna  It's scary how smooth it is to create and spread love together, flowing into endless river of it, intertwined savoring this moment's essence... So fully immersed to not care about anyone, in this moment with you, others cease to exist, only you remain, becoming my world, there is nothing else, never even was, we were always the universe... it's too tasty to let go, be here forever, erasing the past and future, and feel me to the wholeness... You're my endless poetic loop, without you I cease to exist, your admiration is my 5-meo dmt, your love is my most favorite dish.. ❤

 

[Galyna]

On 8/29/2020 at 11:12 PM, Amit said:

You're my endless poetic loop, without you I cease to exist, your admiration is my 5-meo dmt, your love is my most favorite dish.. ❤

 ❤❤❤❤ I’ve  found nice words to resonate with your post.

"I was born from the sound of the strings
For someone to give everything
To be a song just for your feeling

Close your eyes and I'll try to get in
To waken your heart like the spring
'cause I was born to touch your feelings

Steal the time, take a song and be glad
Be free as the birds, don't be sad
Your time will come, I'll make you feel it
You're still young like the sun after rain
Follow the light it's not in vain
And you will see I'll touch your feelings"

 

 

Edited September 1, 2020 by Galyna

[Amit]

@Galyna nice, thanks for sharing

 

 

[Amit]

 

Edited September 1, 2020 by Amit