What Is Forgiveness?

[MiracleMan]

What is the nature of forgiveness?  I'm turning a focus toward this, in my practice I've had all this pain and past events arising in my consciousness without digging for it.  I'm doing my best not make these things about myself, but I could use some guidance.

Last night I had some turbulence, it was painful, I don't want to go in detail but there are things coming to the surface now that I haven't prepared myself for and it's too late to go back now.  I'm wondering if I will survive this process, if I'll go mad.  That is why I need a radical departure from the closed and boxed off way of looking at reality.

I need to forgive in order to survive this process, I feel like it's essential.  But saying it to myself "I forgive them" isn't convincing me I'm actually letting go.

I want forgiveness to be my intention going forward for now, not only for the sake of my spiritual growth but for my sanity.

But please help remind me, why is Forgiveness important?  What is the nature of it, how do I make it a reality?  I could really use it today guys, thanks so much.

[ajasatya]

forgiveness is essential for living in the present moment. it's achieved by getting in touch with the emotional pain and releasing it. feel the pain and let go of its reasons. thinking about the reason just feeds the emotional pain. be the pain itself alone.

[egoeimai]

@MiracleMan why is important?  For   your health of course!  Your own well being!  You should prioritize because its very important. 

How you can do this?  I guess by having the knowledge that we all make mistakes, and we all have insecurities, and its one of the best feelings to forgive, you feel free. You just find a reason why. What if you were on their position?  You really would've wanted to be forgiven.. So do the same. Make this world different!  

[Toby]

It's based on the assumption that there is something wrong. You cannot fight the wrongness-illusion with another illusion or agenda called "forgiveness". Just notice the isness. This is enough imo.

[AleksM]

Quote

 

Forgiveness is self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is basicly removing subconscious patterns, definitions that prevent us to be fully conscious, present in this moment.

If we allow that we function based on some subconscious patterns that divide this reality into two poles (good/bad,ugly/beautiful...) than we allow ourselves to create in ourselves the energy of friction, which we call emotions and feelings. And that energy takes over us and leads our life in the direction where we cause pain to ourselves and to others. So it's necessary to remove all those definitions that are not real.

We are like biological robots (or computers) that react based on certain programs that create in us certain emotional reactions. This programs are like land mines that explode when we come into contact with a certain object, image, event. Our mind compares this reality with Our accepted impression and this triggers a reaction. And this explosion is friction between reality and our definition that creates the energy which we call emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings are always created by friction by two poles that oppose to each other. One pole is always the Reality and the other pole is our definitions.  And whenever we have a definition that prevents us from accepting Reality as it is, at that moment we created friction, conflict between us and Reality.  

For example:

A green frog is beautiful.

So when I come into contact with this green frog I assign a greater value to this frog than it is in Reality. The green frog is green and nothings else... it is not more or less important, more beautiful or less than a red frog or a brown one.  But it became more important because of my definition. Because I defined it as something more valuable and this value was created in my mind. And with that I created in myself Inequality. I put a greater value on some part of creation than the other part of creation. And with that I created imbalance. Because I created this definition that something is more valuable I myself allow myself to create this energetic movements that I label as pleasant movements (feelings of admiration, love...). And this feelings have nothing to do with reality. This are just a consequence of my own personal illusion and deception. And if I want to function in this reality as a sane person, I need to release this definition. And I do this with a statement of self-forgiveness. I do this the following way:

I forgive myself that I allowed myself accept the definition that the green frog is beautiful.

And with that I remove this land mine, this switch from myself that caused in myself a good feeling in relationship to a green frog.

The green frog IS.

~ Valentin Rozman (translated from Slovenian by me)

 

The act of forgiving yourself out loud, speaking has a physical effect on the body. It actually alters your DNA. When you notice a reaction coming to the surface, forgive yourself out loud like mentioned above. Also Put everything into writing. This is how you do proper self-forgiveness.

@MiracleMan You can learn how to do self-forgiveness properly with this free course http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ They also have forums, blogs and other advanced courses to go deeper. Valentin Rozman studied personal development and spirituality for 20 years and he told in one of his videos that those tools triggered the biggest transformation in his self.

http://desteniradio.blogspot.si/2016/11/desteni-radio-3-what-is-self-forgiveness.html 

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

http://destonians.com/

 

@ajasatya When you get in touch with the emotional pain it's too late. This emotional pain already had a physical effect on your body. Yes, when you get in touch with it, You can stop it for the time being but it Will resurface in the future if you don't change the program from which you are operating.

 

[Greys0n]

i think forgiveness is something with memory lost

[Nathalie]

@MiracleMan

here a few ideas how I learned to practice forgiveness and even got rid of the effort of it

1) especially for childhood experiences: going into meditation with the story that hurt me and letting it end otherwise, perhaps like I want(ed) it to be. It seems to me that it neutralize it.. Somehow you still remember what happened but it doesn't hurt that much anymore

2) knowing that evereybody just does it best for him or herself (most rarely in order to damage you), according to their level of consciousness. So after a while you can actually feel compassionate

3) remembering that you only have your limited point of you.. Maybe the Things are sometime different than they seem to you?

4) maybe a so called bad experience can help grow..? Wouldn't that beat everything if you could be thankfull for what happened because it helped you to be who you are now?

Edited September 2, 2017 by Nathalie

[Markus]

Matt Kahn puts it pretty good

 

[Peace and Love]

@MiracleMan

On 8/30/2017 at 9:21 AM, MiracleMan said:

What is the nature of forgiveness?  I'm turning a focus toward this, in my practice I've had all this pain and past events arising in my consciousness without digging for it.  I'm doing my best not make these things about myself, but I could use some guidance.

Last night I had some turbulence, it was painful, I don't want to go in detail but there are things coming to the surface now that I haven't prepared myself for and it's too late to go back now.  I'm wondering if I will survive this process, if I'll go mad.  That is why I need a radical departure from the closed and boxed off way of looking at reality.

I need to forgive in order to survive this process, I feel like it's essential.  But saying it to myself "I forgive them" isn't convincing me I'm actually letting go.

I want forgiveness to be my intention going forward for now, not only for the sake of my spiritual growth but for my sanity.

But please help remind me, why is Forgiveness important?  What is the nature of it, how do I make it a reality?  I could really use it today guys, thanks so much.

I just created a post topic - called the power of forgiveness in the spiritual/reiki section of the forum.   I came up with this really cool way to forgive people and situations and let it go.

[Peace and Love]

@MiracleMan   -  You know what??  I have an even better idea.  I'll just copy and paste what I wrote in the forum here.
 

The Healing Power of Forgiveness




This week I've been primarily focused on healing my past and I came up with this really neat technique using forgiveness!   It has been working really well to help me move forward with my life!  I feel such a sense of freedom and liberation!  Many of you on the forum that have been following my posts, and may know me a little more personally, would know that I worked in adult entertainment and was sexually and verbally abused during that time by various people.  When I left the industry- I was drugged, and had a mental break down, and a near death experience.... I was placed in the hospital twice because of this and later received repetitive hypnosis and life coaching sessions to heal from my experiences.  If it wasn't for the hypnosis and life coaching, I probably would not be in any kind of functional state to interact with other people or cope with society.   I've taken my healing several steps further, and have completely let go of the situation, with no regrets!!!  I feel completely free form my past now and can now look at it from a new perspective!  I am so thankful for the changes I've accomplished so far, and I want to inspire others to further their healing and personal development.    Much LOVE, PEACE, and Violet light to you my friends!



My forgiveness technique that worked for me:    What forgiveness techniques have you used that has worked for you?

Step 1:  Forgive the person - whether it be yourself or someone else (do this internally).  - keep it simple and just forgive the individual without trying to think about "HOW" you are going to heal from this. 

My Real Life Example:  Dad I forgive you for verbally abusing me and calling me stupid.  (Yes this really happened to me, and with a lot of self reflection I realized it was one of the contributing factors of why I went into adult entertainment)


Step 2 :  Express Gratitude to the individual.  This is done internally. (Yes I'm perfectly serious with this! This is not a typo).  Give thanks to this person/ or even a particular situation for what they taught you and how you have grown from the experience to become a better person.  

My Real Life Example:  Dad thank you so much for teaching me that I deserve way more love and respect.  Thank you for showing me how I shouldn't be treated by a significant other or anyone else.  My sexuality and self worth is priceless. 


*If you break things down into smaller pieces it will make it easier to let go and forgive. 

My Story:  My dad was verbally abusive and called me stupid.  He was an alcoholic and treated my mom and I like crap.  He threw things when he was drunk and punched holes in the wall.  I went looking for fatherly figures in relationships and because the only thing I knew was abuse from male figures, I continually attracted abusive relationships and friendships.



* Now taking My Story and breaking it up into smaller pieces for forgiveness and gratitude purposes.

- My dad was verbally abusive and called me stupid.

- He treated my mom and I like crap.

- He threw things at me and punched holes in the wall.

- My dad caused me to look for male companionship incorrectly.



*Now I used the forgiveness technique and applied it to the smaller pieces.

-My dad was verbally abusive and called me stupid
step 1: Dad I forgive you for being verbally abusive and calling me stupid
step 2: Dad thank you for showing me that I deserve love and to be treated better.  Thanks for showing me that I shouldn't believe what people always tell me.  I am intelligent and smart.      * optional...but you can take this a step further...and it really help with facilitating healing a lot faster..... And I got good grades in school.  I may not have been smart in the ways you wanted me to be, such as in math or physics or chemistry.  But I was smart, and I am proud of my accomplishments and who I am.   I was an excellent writer, I excelled in art.  I loved health and human anatomy.  I've done a lot of wonderful things in this world.  I have been called wise for my age by various people.    Thank you for giving me this experience because now I am a successful hypnotist and holistic healer.  Because of my experiences I have more compassion for my clients and can better relate to them!  THANK YOU!!


-He treated my mom and I like crap.
step 1: Dad I forgive you for treating my mom and I like crap.
step 2:  Dad thank you for showing me that when I'm in a relationship or when I'm married that I should never under and circumstances be treated this way. Thank you for showing me that I really deserve to be loved and treated with respect.  Thank you for showing me that I can make smarter choices when choosing a romantic partner.   *optional- thank you because of this experience with you, I have taken it upon myself to do extensive research on how to have healthy relationships with other people. I have used this knowledge on myself and to help other people on the actualized.org forum and in my hypnosis practice to help promote healthy relationships.


-He threw things at me and punched holes in the wall.
step 1:  Dad I forgive you for throwing things at me and punching holes in the wall.
step 2: Dad thank you for showing me that there are much healthier ways to deal with anger. I've learned to be quick to listen, slow to speak and to anger.  optional- Anger is a fleeting emotion.  Nothing is ever good or bad in life, except what we give it.  I've learned to control my emotions.  Love is the answer and the most powerful emotion in the universe.  I will work everyday to express love and gratitude to others.   *taking it even further- and looking at it from the other person's perspective and why they were hurt  I understand your pain and why you were angry and how you were treated at work and how upset you were at moving to California and being away from the majority of our extended family.  I forgive you and I understand.  And I have learned that family is important.  I understand that your father treated you like crap too, and this is all you know and understand.  I forgive you and I forgive my grand father.  I understand that my grandfather had no mother and was not shown love from a female figure thus creating this line of abuse.  I forgive you grandfather, I forgive you and I love you and I understand!


- My dad caused me to look for male companionship incorrectly.

step 1: If it is a situation you can forgive the people involved and or you can skip over to what you learned from it in step 2.
step 2:  I learned from this situation that I need to love myself before I love anyone else.  I took the liberty to read books about what a healthy relationship is between a father and a child.  I learned that abuse is never acceptable and that I attract relationships based off of how I feel which can be determined by past experiences.  If I change the way I feel about myself and my experiences I can change the type of people I attract into my life, whether it be friendships or relationships.  I've learned that boundaries are a healthy form of self love and are guidelines to show others how you deserve to be treated.




*I took these steps and reflected on all the people in my life.  I went through every last boyfriend and romantic partner, to people that bullied and made fun of me in school.....and even to every last guy that hurt me physically and sexually in adult entertainment....no matter how hurtful or graphic it was!!!!    This is really important and especially important for people that are sexually abused because it can prevent you from having fulfilling sexual romantic relationships.  If you are into energy and healing you will literally feel a blockage in you "sacral chakra" - the chakra that is closely related to your sexual organs and glands.  You may even have sexual pain!   Such as I did!  If and when you release these fears, and forgive yourself and others, and reflect on what you have learned from your experiences, you will find that satisfaction and relief to move on in your life!! 

I had a lot of personal shame and guilt from my adult entertainment experiences.  Even though there were some positive experiences from working in adult entertainment I repressed them because I thought it was wrong to feel this way!!  I used this technique and this is what I learned.... I learned to be comfortable naked and with my body.  I learned how to be attractive for myself and the opposite sex. It built my confidence and my self esteem.  There were a lot of men that came from broken relationships and were sad, angry and confused.  I learned to listen to them and show them compassion.  I literally played sex therapist and was a huge contributing factor of why I chose my career to help others!     I did this last night, and I literally kid you not!! I felt a release in my sacral chakra.  I felt a warming sensation down there from the balancing of my emotions and forgiveness. I noticed a healthy shift in my sexuality.

@Sarah Marie  I went to see a shaman and had an akashic record done and I found out I had a history of sexual abuse and adult entertainment in multiple past lives. I decided to also forgive and let go of all of my karmic past lives, even though I don't remember any of it.  Yes I really did  forgave my past lives too!  And now I learned my lesson in this life time!  I am an infinite being and I can move on to a higher vibration of love and enlightenment.

  Yes! You can use this on past lives, if you believe in those sorts of things.  You can even use this on beliefs or feelings or situations, even if you don't even know where they came from.  Just forgive yourself and state what you learned from this situation.

Edited September 2, 2017 by Peace and Love
grammar and spelling corrections :)

[Peace and Love]

@MiracleMan

 

I also wanted to share this book that talks about forgiveness:  You Can Heal Your Life   by Louise Hay



RIP- Louise Hay, She just recently passed away a few days before creating this post.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/louise-hay-passes-away-at-90
 

***  I realized I had some spelling and grammatical error typos from my original post in the forum.  I'm fixing them here.

pg 8   All Dis-ease Comes from a State of Unforgiveness

Whenever we are ill, we need to search our hearts to see who is we need to forgive.

The Course in Miracles says that "all dis-ease" comes from a state of unforgiveness,"  and that "whenever we are ill, we need to look around to see who is that we need to forgive".

I would add to that concept that the very person you find it hardest to forgive is the one YOU NEED TO LET GO OF THE MOST.  Forgiveness means giving up, letting go.  It has nothing to do with condoning behavior.  It's just letting the whole thing go.  We do not have to know HOW to forgive. All we need to do is be WILLING to forgive.  The Universe will take care of the HOWS.

We understand our own pain so well, How hard it is for most of us to understand that THEY, whoever they are we need most to forgive, were also in pain.  We need to understand that they were doing the best they could with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge they had at that time.

When people come to me with a problem, I don't care what it is -- poor health, lack of money, unfulfilling relationships, or stifled creativity -- there is only one thing I ever work on, and that is LOVING THE SELF:

I find that when we really love and accept and APPROVE OF OURSELVES EXACTLY AS WE ARE, then everything in life works.  It's as if little miracles are everywhere.  Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships become much more fulfilling, and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways.  All this seems to happen without our even trying.

Loving and approving of yourself, creating a space of safety, trusting and deserving and accepting, will create organization in your mind, create more loving relationships in your life, attract a new job and a new and better place to live, and even enable your body weight to normalize.  People who love themselves and their bodies neither abuse themselves nor others.

Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.

Loving the self, to me, begins with never ever criticizing ourselves for anything.  Criticism locks us into the very pattern we are trying to change.  Understanding and being gentle with ourselves helps us to move out of it.  Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for many years, and it hasn't worked.  Try approving of yourself and see what happens.

In the infinity of life where I am,
all is perfect, whole and complete,
I believe in the power far greater than I am,
that flows through me every moment of every day.
I open myself to the wisdom within,
knowing that there is only One Intelligence in this Universe.
Out of this One Intelligence comes all the answers,
all the solutions, all the healings, all the new creations,
I trust this Power and Intelligence,
Knowing that whatever I need to know is revealed to me,
and that whatever I need to know is revealed to me,
and that whatever I need comes to me
in the right time, space and sequence.
All is well in my world.

[MiracleMan]

@Peace and Love Thank you for sharing your story and your advice.  It means a great deal to me and it's just what I needed.  I can relate to your story as I am in recovery right now for sex addiction, I've been attending a lot of SAA and trying to limit my acting out, the program is helping tremendously but I've yet to get a sponsor.  I faced a lot humiliation, physical and verbal abuse as a child, blah blah, qualifying myself a bit here   It's highly irrelevant to my situation in the now, however, life is becoming more exciting rather than dreadful, more fun instead of taxing, more unexpected and rewarding as I allow life to be instead of trying to control every move.  There is still work to be done however, I'm not out of the weeds yet! 

I'm becoming more conscious of my intention now, I've actually caught myself in the act of feeling malice in my words and speech that I didn't notice before, saying things designed to inflict pain, as a reflection of my inner pain.  As I notice these things I'm starting to go a bit easier on myself day by day but it's not easy.  A lot of behavior I label as "bad" is just a behavior, no adjective needed here, even what I label "good".  

It isn't easy treating myself with dignity and respect, but it's getting better, I still identify with a lot of self hatred because of my past, and the paradoxical nature of the work is confusing because my mind conceptualizes everything so automatically, almost mechanically, like a logical machine trying to make sense of it all.

Layers and layers, this is the nature of my conditioning, and it can be painful work, but I'm finding the rewards and insights satisfying enough to continue the journey onward.  Thanks for helping me find the courage to say yes to pain, to allow a space within in me for God and others.  And lastly, to forgive myself for the false perception that I've been wronged.  You are right when you say that these past experiences labeled as "bad" are misperceptions.  Indeed they have lead me here, to you, and to others who give their time and input to help someone they have never met.  It does mean the world to me and I can't express how grateful I am for you all helping me stay on the path.

[pluto]

Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower releases when crushed

[zenjen]

On 8/30/2017 at 9:21 AM, MiracleMan said:

But please help remind me, why is Forgiveness important?  What is the nature of it, how do I make it a reality?  I could really use it today guys, thanks so much.

 

I’ve put a lot of thought into this topic lately & I’ll try to explain why I think it is important with a story. My sister dated a guy for a few years when she was teenager and he ended up cheating on her and breaking her heart. He was her first love. Seven years later, she still says she will never forgive him and carries a lot of resentment. She created a vow that she would never date a guy like him again. Even though there was a time when they were happy, in love, and had a real connection. After that relationship ended, she has dated a lot of guys that she has no connection with, they don’t last for more than a few months, and she keeps getting her heart broken over and over again. So the point here is, what she’s really doing by not forgiving her ex is sabotaging herself and her future relationships. Not forgiving, in almost any situation, will lead to some kind of self-sabotage.

Forgiveness can be difficult and it doesn’t usually happen overnight. In more serious situations, it is something you really need to work on. The advice I was given was to just keep praying for the person you do not want to forgive each night before you go to sleep. Pray that they find love/happiness/peace/all of the things that you want for yourself. Eventually, I think this helps with the resistance that you feel towards them.

I like to remember this quote in regards to forgiving others: “When one forgives, two souls are set free”. I hope this helps.

[sgn]

What Forgiveness Is:

• Forgiveness is a by-product of an ongoing healing process.
Many of us grew up believing that forgiveness was an act to be performed or an attitude to possess, and the reason that we could not forgive was that we were not trying hard enough. But what really keeps us from forgiving the people who hurt us is that we have not yet healed the wounds they inflicted. Forgiveness is the gift at the end of the healing process. We find it waiting for us when we reach a point where we stop expecting “them” to pay for what they did or make it up to us in some way.

• Forgiveness is an internal process.
It happens within us. It is a feeling of wellness and freedom and acceptance. Those feelings can be ours at any time, as long as we want to heal and are willing to try.

• Forgiveness is a sign of positive self-esteem.
It is no longer building our identity around something that happened to us in the past, realizing that there is more to us and more we can do. The past is put into its proper perspective, and we realize that the injuries and injustices are just a part of our life and just a part of who we are rather than all of us. The religions in which we were raised presented forgiveness as a moral obligation. To be considered “good” and worthy, we were supposed to “turn the other cheek” and forgive our enemies. We believe, however, that forgiveness is instead our moral right— a right to stop being hurt by events that were unfair in the first place. We claim the right to stop hurting when we can finally say, “I’m tired of the pain, and I want to be healed.” At that moment, forgiveness becomes a possibility— although it may not become a reality for quite some time.

• Forgiveness is letting go of the intense emotions attached to incidents from our past.
We still remember what happened, but we no longer feel intensely angry, frightened, bitter, resentful, or damaged because of it. Forgiveness becomes an option once pain from the past stops dictating how we live our life today and we realize that what once happened to us does not have to determine what will happen to us in the future.

• Forgiveness is recognizing that we no longer need our grudges and resentments, our hatred and self-pity.
We do not need them as an excuse for getting less out of life than we want or deserve. We do not need them as a weapon to punish the people who hurt us or keep other people from getting close enough to hurt us again. We do not need them as an identity. We are more than a victim of injury and injustice.

• Forgiveness is no longer wanting to punish the people who hurt us.
It is no longer wanting to get even or to have them suffer as much as we did. It is realizing that we can never truly “even the score,” and it is the inner peace we feel when we stop trying to.

• Forgiveness is accepting that nothing we do to punish them will heal us.
It is becoming aware of what we did because we were hurt and how these attitudes and behaviors have also hurt us. It is deciding that we have simply done enough hiding and hurting and hating and that we do not want to do those things anymore.

• Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds.
It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves. It is breaking the cycle of pain and abuse, ceasing to create new victims by hurting others as we ourselves were hurt. It is recognizing that we have better things to do with our life and then doing them.

• Forgiveness is moving on.
It is recognizing that we have better things to do with our life and then doing them.

• Forgiveness is something you do for YOU.

 

What Forgiveness Is Not:

• Forgiveness is not forgetting.
By forgiving the people who hurt us, we do not erase painful past experiences from our memory. Nothing we have done so far has been able to turn back the clock and remove the unpleasant incidents from our life history, and forgiveness will not do that, either. We cannot forget, nor should we. Those experiences, and even the pain they caused, have a great deal to teach us, both about not being victimized again and about not victimizing others.

• Forgiveness is not condoning.
When we forgive, we lessen the past’s impact on our present and future, but this does not alter the fact that the injuries and injustices we experienced were painful and unfair when they occurred originally. By forgiving the people who hurt us, we are not saying that what was done to us was acceptable or unimportant or “not so bad.” It was bad. It did hurt. It has made a difference in our life. In fact, true forgiveness cannot occur while we are in any way denying, minimizing, justifying, or condoning the actions that harmed us.

• Forgivenessis notabsolution.
Many of us who were raised in the Catholic religion regularly confessed our sins and then received absolution. We performed whatever penance the priest suggested, and the slate was wiped clean until we next sinned, confessed, and were absolved. Many of us still associate forgiveness with this sort of absolution, but that is not what we are expected to do when we forgive the people who hurt us. We do not “let them off the hook.” We do not absolve them of all responsibility for their actions. They are still responsible for what they did and must make their own peace with the past. What’s more, “I absolve you” are words spoken from atop our mountain of self-rightousness and demonstrate that we have not yet healed our wounds or let go of pain from the past. They let us play God, a benevolent God this time rather than a punitive one, but still a God who judges and then condemns or absolves the sinner. Absolution is just another way to be “one up” on the people who hurt us. And that is not forgiveness.

• Forgiveness is not a form of self-sacrifice.
Forgiveness is not gritting our teeth and tolerating the people who hurt us. Plastering a smile on our face and “making nice” is not forgiving. Forgiveness is not swallowing our true feelings and playing the martyr, saying it’s all right when it is not or getting by somehow in spite of the pain. The “grin and bear it” approach to forgiveness makes life less joyful and more difficult. Actual forgiveness has the opposite effect and cannot be undertaken halfheartedly. We either forgive or we don’t. Being honest about the fact that we are not ready to forgive yet is better for us in the long run than pretending to forgive.

• Forgiveness is not a clear-cut, one-time decision.
No matter how sincerely we want to let go of the past and move on with our life, we cannot expect to wake up one morning, think, “Okay, today’s the day I’m going to forgive someone who hurt me,” and then blithely do it. We cannot make a five-year plan that designates the first Tuesday of every third month as a forgiveness day or finish reading this book, make a list of people who have hurt us, and systematically forgive them. Forgiveness just doesn’t work that way. It cannot be forced. Forgiveness is what happens naturally as a result of confronting painful past experiences and healing old wounds.

 

From the book: Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life.

Edited September 11, 2017 by sgn

[Nahm]

@MiracleMan say to them I forgive you. Forgive yourself for internalizing in the way you did. The inspiration to let it go, is literally the inspiration to let it go.  It's funny and elusive like that, because you are it. The infinite love that you are, that you probably want to experience, is not tripped up on forgiving anyone because it is real and it is infinite love. If you want to experience more of the infinite love that you are, adopt it's perspective in the sense that it is love and love is all things. It is impossible for it to not be loving something because it is love and it is what all things (an illusion) are made out of. Can you love them? Can you genuinely see the best for them, the best of them? Can you see they do what they do, you do what you do, and if you were them with their experiences, you would do what they do? It is impossible to experience love without loving. Imo.   The illusion is persistent though.