I Feel Like I'm Schizophrenic

[John Iverson]

A little while ago I experienced that whenever my Professor say something time is not exist anymore, in a room it exist by sensation of sounds movements colors, etc.. I can't interpret that as a person.. and i can listen to what professor say a point but I can't absorb it is like i know it is an illusion that teacher is saying a point... by the way my subject is sociology and we had discussed about a person, beauty and about labeling a person.. i feel like I'm bursting inside that my head wants to pump out because I can't take it.. i'm not against understand why they said that but what is happening inside of me is bursting and i feel like i'm crazy i don't know why I'm experiencing it now.. i feel like it is not the true nature .. only if they know the true nature they will not said that.. I don't know how to explain it to you guys what I'm experiencing right now, and after that my teacher in sociology discuss our research , i said my point to my teacher about thoughts that my  research is about thought in every person but my prof said it is hard, but i have my own guidelines questions but my teacher didn't accept that.. argggg how can live in this society  i wanna voice out.. something.. I don't enjoy life if i conform on the group  i enjoy my self as a space, as a no self but whenever i do something it will rejected... I don't know nowww.. 

Edited August 30, 2017 by John Iverson

[Angelique]

Accept the calls of the universe, and work together. You are not alone. 

[Znep]

@John Iverson

I've experienced a bit of this. Maybe not as extreme as that.
It's like, I hear voices ... and I don't know who they belong to.
Apparently this sort of thing can be quite healthy.
Just keep an eye on it and don't let it go too far.

 

 

[cirkussmile]

Hey friend! Welcome!

This is normal and you are right, if they went directly to our true nature they would not spend their time talking about labeling persons.

But now you are stuck here in the now and the only thing that can guide you is your gut. Listen to it and do what it tells you, no matter what. Surrender, have a short period of confusion, and you will soon know more than you do now. 

Much love <3

Edited August 31, 2017 by cirkussmile

[John Iverson]

3 minutes ago, cirkussmile said:

Hey friend! Welcome!

This is normal and you are right, if they went directly to our true nature they would not spend their time talking about labeling persons.

But now you are stuck here in the now and the only thing that can guide you is your gut. Listen to it and do what it tells you, no matter what. Surrender, have a short period of confusion, and you will soon know more than you do now. 

Much love <3

Thankyou, today I can use my no self to them to my professors but to listen what they are trying to say I can't listen to it...  am i being arrogant? Or bad? That I don't listen? Am i being judgemental?  A while ago my professor talks about anxiety of the people with separation anxiety, soldiers in the battles who have ptsd, how can i say to them that those things are just a memory, and when you say a memory it is in the past or you think in the future.. so it is not existing... it is not true.. argggg i want to go to college for someday i have a back up plan to have a job to make a living for my self to sustain what i want and what i want to pursue,, but what they are trying to say is I can't listen to it i want to go out in the classroom... how can i go live a life with a purpose and do what i want to do but what i want to voice out to them is not true for them.. I can't live my life for ego ... I cannot take it if i let my ego do such things.. I want to do something but i am now different to all of them...  I don't know how to express myself.. 

[cirkussmile]

You can't change other people so don't waste your time trying. Be what you want and don't look back. 

And the voice in the head. It's not yours. 

[John Iverson]

There is no voice inside my head.. but even i try to connect what they are trying to say about topic in school naturally it rejected it.. yes I don't waste time.. but my innerself wants to express... but in duality it cannot express it.. idont know now...

[Nahm]

@John Iverson There is no Indiana Jones without the temple, no Luke without the dark side, no Morpheus without the matrix, no Jesus without oppression, no Buddha without suffering. Try to welcome it, because it is the experience that allows you, to make you. What are you anyways? Some hack? Some chicken shit pussy pants???  I don't think so. I think you're some kind of Neo, who today, thinks he is merely Thomas Anderson. 

[John Iverson]

7 minutes ago, Nahm said:

There is no Indiana Jones without the temple, no Luke without the dark side, no Morpheus without the matrix, no Jesus without oppression, no Buddha without suffering. Try to welcome it, because it is the experience that allows you, to make you.

Thankyou, it naturally absorb what is the nature saying... btw who is Thomas Anderson? 

[Nahm]

@John Iverson You serious Clark? You gotta watch the Matrix. It'll only change your life. 

[John Iverson]

On 9/1/2017 at 0:27 AM, Nahm said:

@John Iverson You serious Clark? You gotta watch the Matrix. It'll only change your life. 

I already watched the matrix 123... i understand something.. do you believe that i'm kind of a neo??

[Nahm]

@John Iverson you are the One

[John Iverson]

On 9/2/2017 at 11:36 PM, Nahm said:

@John Iverson you are the One

I believe in myself.. after i read this that you said i'm the one.. i took some actions..  and a little while ago i posted a video about limitation of philosphy and science but there is only one that liked my post..   I don't know... i cried before i posted it i dont know why.. but i am aware that i speak about God you are e only thing that i should hold... i feel the pain inside of me that undescribable ...

[Nahm]

@John Iverson Seems like your focused on rejection. Where's that come from in your past? Let's put some awareness on it, understand it, let it go and get focused on something out of the growth category bro! 

[zazed]

@John Iverson You are most definitively a wonderful person! You don't need to do anything to be valuable, you are perfect as you are.
You can only do what you think is right. And even then, what you do or think doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, and it certainly matters even less what other people think. Still, it is human nature to want to feel "valued", purpose is often defined by the acceptance of your ideas and views. Respect is given as a currency by others, or rather, more often withheld.
As Nahm says you are focused on rejection. This is because we are biologically inclined to strive for acceptance by the group. You are normal in this way.

It's totally not about the content of your ideas or interactions anymore. Its a deeper issue.

Ask yourself, why did you cry, what causes the pain? And you will most likely find, you are unhappy with the response/reaction you get from your fellow humans. It's about being loved/wanted/accepted. You expect more, you want them to appload you, tell you how insightful you are.
In this way, you are giving their opinions the power to create inside your head feelings of sorrow. When in fact, they don't intend to do this, and don't place the same weight/value upon the idea's as you do. Likely, they don't even care about it at all.
You are sad, because the unacceptance gives you the feeling of failure, of being worthless even.
You are attaching the value of your self to the opinions of other people.

You don't need their acceptance to be you, you are always you, and you are perfect and exactly what you need to be at this moment!

perhaps watch this?

 

 

[Dodo]

We're all schizo

[zazed]

@Dodo this is true

[John Iverson]

On 10/4/2017 at 4:20 AM, zazed said:

@John Iverson You are most definitively a wonderful person! You don't need to do anything to be valuable, you are perfect as you are.
You can only do what you think is right. And even then, what you do or think doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, and it certainly matters even less what other people think. Still, it is human nature to want to feel "valued", purpose is often defined by the acceptance of your ideas and views. Respect is given as a currency by others, or rather, more often withheld.
As Nahm says you are focused on rejection. This is because we are biologically inclined to strive for acceptance by the group. You are normal in this way.

It's totally not about the content of your ideas or interactions anymore. Its a deeper issue.

Ask yourself, why did you cry, what causes the pain? And you will most likely find, you are unhappy with the response/reaction you get from your fellow humans. It's about being loved/wanted/accepted. You expect more, you want them to appload you, tell you how insightful you are.
In this way, you are giving their opinions the power to create inside your head feelings of sorrow. When in fact, they don't intend to do this, and don't place the same weight/value upon the idea's as you do. Likely, they don't even care about it at all.
You are sad, because the unacceptance gives you the feeling of failure, of being worthless even.
You are attaching the value of your self to the opinions of other people.

You don't need their acceptance to be you, you are always you, and you are perfect and exactly what you need to be at this moment!

perhaps watch this?

 

 

 

I cried cuz deep inside me feel all humans pain because they don't know the true nature of the self.. so i cried :,( 

[zenjen]

@John Iverson As someone who is spiritual and diagnosed with a mental disorder, I can understand a bit of what you are going through. The key is acceptance of your situation. This could mean learning to feel different in school and accepting it; knowing that you are okay despite others opinions. Or, leaving school if you can't accept the situation as it is. Whatever choice you make is not technically "wrong", just different paths.

Another humble warning: if you truly feel as though you have a developing mental disorder, stay away from any psychedelics, please. They can potentially do harm in this state of confusion. I wish someone would have told me this earlier.

Edited October 6, 2017 by zenjen